Secret Santa disappointment, anyone else?

[youcanonlydraftthefuture]

We had a 'minimum' spend in our office of £10. Highest was £20 max.

I spend about £18 and bought my secret Santa a Emma Bridgewater mug, her favourite chocolate and a fancy bubble bath she's well known to adore.

I got... A flimsy mug with cheap chocolates inside.

The previous year (a different office), I was given a pair of socks from Poundland and a small pack of M&M's, the spend limit there was £15.

AIBU to wonder how people can be so mean?

DH is usually well known for this kind of cheeky fuckery, usually re-gifting a naff toiletry set from someone. However, last year he was bought a Peroni glass and beer which he loves so makes the effort now.

I work in a very male dominated environment and this year just the work women have decided to do Secret Santa amongst us. It’s the first time. Budget has been set at £40, but on the whatsapp group one person has admitted they have already spent nearer £60 on the gift. So I’m feeling pressure to up my spend!

Adults!!!

I should add that most people I’ve met during my working life have been perfectly pleasant but stuff like this really does bring out the worst in some people.

I can't afford to take part in SS this year as the spend is £10 but luckily I'm not the only one!

Also, there are now THREE threads for people to whine about their Secret fucking Santa gifts, and how generous they are, and how awful other people are.
It honestly isn't worth this much stress. If you are in the sort of workplace where you'll get aggro for not joining in, stock up on cheap inoffensive gifts and don't expect anything great. Otherwise, if you can't cope with not getting a gift that 'shows people think about you', don't join in.

OK, I have some sympathy with posters who are pushed to join in on minimum spend ones. I would opt out of that if at all possible myself. My first option for buying SS presents would always be the pound shop anyway, because you can get all sorts of perfectly nice things in there which are not that obviously from a pound shop.

I got a pack of condoms once (being pregnant with my second, and with my first being under 1). I am not sure what the grudge was, as I took only my annual leave as maternity, nothing more.

Everione in my team was really thoughtful and no jokey gifts well except one guy was given a fireman Sam lunchbox (as his mam made his sandwiches and he moaned his bag smelt,) but he also got nice things too

I got my secret sabta a mini prosecco and chocolate set, and a fuzzy duck pamper box thingy with slippers.

My secret santa bought me a really nice gin gift set and cocktail making book.

That was the only year I done it tbh and it was a nice, stress free experience (although I do love buying gifts and stuff. The 5iver limit this year has been frustrating a bit cos I wanted to go all out but tbf the 5 limit makes sense)

It's irrelevant that some people on here don't like SS. It's irrelevant that they don't want to spend more than £3 on colleagues. Whether they would like to receive what the OP bought for her recipient is also irrelevant.

The OP's gift giver agreed to the conditions of their SS - a minimum spend of £10. They then decided to spend only a fraction of that minimum amount, and that's a shitty thing to do.

If they were really struggling for any reason, they could have brought it up with the organiser to find a better solution. In any secret Santas I've been involved in, the organiser would always have worked something out so nobody felt bad about it.

We have upped the price bracket this year, which is abit annoying, but I think your secret santa had the right idea, you were the one who went over board.

They had the right idea by spend less than a sandwich and crisps on me yet I'm the one doing it wrong by spending within the budget given?

After years of this kind of nonsense (earrings without pierced ears, teabags and teapot when I don’t drink tea, cheap bubble bath when everyone knows I have very sensitive skin) I’ve opted out and told everyone I’m using the money to buy a present for the local radio station’s appeal. I’ve got enough tat in my house and enough money to buy myself a mug if I needed one.

I got a pack of condoms once (being pregnant with my second, and with my first being under 1). I am not sure what the grudge was

Why assume it's a grudge rather than just a joke?

Generally I have my reservations about jokey secret santas because it can be used for bullying but I also get frustrated when people automatically assign malice to others' words and actions.

Budget has been set at £40

That's more than I spend on some members of my family.

@wafflyversatile
Maybe you are right and I was just too sensitive. I don't think anyone laughed when I opened it.

The best secret Santa I've ever seen was a cock lock chastity belt thing for a man ( a plastic joke one ) given to my stupid husband a few months after he had been caught having an emotional affair ( that's still bollocks in my eyes and obviously his work colleagues) I howled with laughter for about 15 minutes and I wouldn't let him throw it away.
They knew because the OW was a colleague too.
Made me feel like someone had my back after he humiliated me and they've never let him forget it either.
😂

I don't care if someone decided it was a 'minimum' of a tenner. No-one would tell me what I should be spending. I would spend a fiver max. And I don't give a flying fart if that makes me a 'CF' in the eyes of some. Seriously, zero shits given.

Then don't lie through your teeth and agree to.someyhjng you have absolutely no intention of sticking to. Why should others get you something nice using the budget when you don't reciprocate?
That's cfery at its most obvious right there. "Yep you get me something nice I will get you cheap tat because i don't give 2 shits about you" You must be really pleasant to.work with.
If you don't want to.do it at least be honest about it.

I hate work Secret Santas 😫
I always end up regifting to the next year’s school Christmas raffle request! 😈

Maybe you are right and I was just too sensitive. I don't think anyone laughed when I opened it.

Well it was probably not a well judged joke. Several PPs have said jokes is how it goes at their work but most work environments aren't that jokey. I work with someone who I feel pushes things a bit far sometimes. Other people think he's soooooo funny.

It's not always possible to opt out - I've worked in many places as I do contract work - the last place there was no option, I was TOLD to bring a generic gift to the value of whatever to the weekly meeting on x date, there was no opportunity to say no thanks. The person organising kept chasing us about it.

My manager made a great fuss about it being good for morale. I had a meeting offsite that I couldn't change, that was booked around a number of directors and had over 70 people attending, to which I was the key advisor, which she knew about, and she still whined on at me about the fact I wasn't going to this great morale building meeting (with pizza - woo). I'm not sure how she expected me to be in two places at once but I really think she thought I could be.

But the place before, they asked me, I said no thanks and that was fine (I did get roped into some football sweepstake as they didn't have enough people). I've only actually done it at one place that I can recall, but if I have the chance to say no that's what I'd do.

I don't take part. I can buy my own chocs and wine, and Christmas is busy enough without worrying whet to buy for a colleague I barely know.

Not sure what I'd do if it was "obligatory", I think I'd still refuse.

Not sure what I'd do if it was "obligatory"

Judging by MN maybe stick the cash value of the maximum budget in a tasteful handmade Christmas card?

I think if you are not happy with the process then don't do it next year perhaps? But OP was happy with the process. What she wasn't happy with was her secret Santa not following the process.

If the secret Santa didn't want to spend the minimum they shouldn't have signed up for it. If their circumstances changed they could have got something which looked like they at least tried. Instead of a tiny seethrough bag of chocolate buttons they could have got something which looked like they'd made an effort. If all they had was a fiver they could have been creative with it. Thoughtful doesn't have to mean expensive.

I don't care if someone decided it was a 'minimum' of a tenner. Well you sound delightful. No-one would tell me what I should be spending and childish! Just don't do it if you don't want to. Don't participate just to make some weird point about how you won't be told what to do and would only spend a fiver. Even though if the other person does spend a tenner you'll be happy to have your hand out ready to receive.

They are protesting, most people hate this crap but they can’t easily opt out.

Ours is £5 regift, charity shop etc, or budget store
I’ve just got mine a jokey calendar (their taste) from local charity and as was in 1/2 price Black Friday will buy chocs to make up to budget

The first year I was at my current place of work I took part - put a lot of effort in - asked colleagues what this person liked etc (I had been there 4 months). I got.... a jar of bath salts. Yep, bath SALTS. I didn't even know they still made them! I was mid forties, not 70! Never bothered again.. I would have loved a mug and chocolates!

My first option for buying SS presents would always be the pound shop anyway, because you can get all sorts of perfectly nice things in there which are not that obviously from a pound shop. I do agree with this. We have loads of pound shops/bargain shops around here and if you look round there's loads of things you'd never guess were that cheap!