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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To get upset about Xmas gift?

171 replies

MooPoo23 · 29/11/2019 22:55

Hi,

I was just wondering if I could have your opinion.

I don’t have much money this year (I left a dv relationship last year and still haven’t recovered financially) and thought it would be nice to “do up” my daughters room as an Xmas gift.

I mentioned it to someone at my local play centre (we were all taking Xmas) and she laughed it off and said “tbf that’s a bit of a shit gift”.

I laughed and said “yeah, it was just an idea” but I actually felt quite sad about it.

Am I bu to be upset or would it be ok to do this? I really don’t have much to give, I have about 6-7 gifts for my dd (she’s 6 and will be getting things from her dad and his family).

All I’ll be doing is paining it pink, putting a rug, some fairy lights, a few wooden plaques with quotes on them, some new bedding and a few cushions. It’s not much but it’s the best I can do right now.

I honestly feel like a shit mum, but I’m trying my hardest and I do work but only part time.

Thank you for reading my message x

OP posts:
busybarbara · 29/11/2019 22:57

She’ll love it. Environment matters more to children than they can really communicate. Don’t listen to that rude cow. Crack on with your plan!

SleepwalkingThroughLife · 29/11/2019 22:58

It's a lovely present.

Your acquaintance is a shit.

Oilyoilyoilgob · 29/11/2019 22:58

That’s really awful of her to say 😠 even if she thought it. Jesus why can’t people think before they speak.

I think it’s an absolutely lovely gift.....you could everything as a big reveal and maybe hold a bit of cash back to say you’ll have a girls trip out to pick some new bedding? I’d quite like that done for me and I’m in my 30s!

Well done on changing your life for the better, I bet you’re not a shit mum. Be kinder to yourself ☺️

LoopyLou1981 · 29/11/2019 22:59

That’s an amazing present! What little girl wouldn’t love pink and fairy lights! She’ll feel so special in her new room 🥰 x

Justmuddlingalong · 29/11/2019 22:59

As a 6 year old, I'd have loved that. Ignore the arse at the play centre. You know your DD best. 💐

countdowntochristmas · 29/11/2019 23:00

It's a lovely gift , ignore the playmate person.

Cherrysherbet · 29/11/2019 23:01

That’s sounds lovely op. My dd would love it. Don’t be put off by this awful woman. I’m sure your dd will be over the moon.

IHaveBrilloHair · 29/11/2019 23:01

She'll love it.
Have you tried your local Freecycle?
Often people giving away bits and bobs that might help.

Icanflyhigh · 29/11/2019 23:02

Thats a lovely gift, and one I've done for all 3 DCs at some point.

Its not a cop out, its thoughtful and its somewhere your DD will spend half of her life, so why not make it a lovely space for her to enjoy x

Chickychoccyegg · 29/11/2019 23:02

That was really rude of that mum, I'm sure your dd will love that, you could wrap the rug/pictures/lights/bedding/maybe a nice cushion or blanket up for Christmas (i did similar a few years ago wrapped them individually but put them together in a large gift bag (£1/£1.50 from card factory ) so it was obvious there was a bedroom theme.

bridgetreilly · 29/11/2019 23:02

My parents did my room for my 7th birthday. I can't tell you any other birthday present they gave me as a child, but that one was special. So I say do it. But I would think carefully about how you do it so that she has something special to 'unwrap' on Christmas Day. Could she sleep elsewhere for a few nights before, while you work on the room, and then put a big bow or something on the door, as well as wrap up the bedding and other bits?

MooPoo23 · 29/11/2019 23:02

Thank you for your quick responses. I honestly thought my little one would love it, I grew up with absolutly nothing (abusive household) and would have loved this.

Even though she’s only 6, I want her to feel like she has a personal space that’s hers and not just a small white room with a bed and a toy box in it as that’s all it is right now.

I’m hoping to find a second hand/cheap wardrobe for her clothes and a little table for her lamp so it’s more personal (not too sure if that’s the right word) as I bought everything in her dads house but left with nothing, just so it doesn’t feel like she’s still living out of a suitcase if that makes sense?

OP posts:
Kanga83 · 29/11/2019 23:02

She will absolutely love it. My 6 year old would. Her main presents that she's asked for are some accessories for her room that she's chosen.

OctoberLovers · 29/11/2019 23:02

I honestly think that will be lovely

At 6, this will be wonderful for her

And 6 or 7 presents is more than enough

Your a fantastic mum Wine CakeBrewFlowers

Apileofballyhoo · 29/11/2019 23:03

Horrible, thoughtless woman. It's lovely OP.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 29/11/2019 23:04

That’s a really lovely gift! Sounds really lovely

Iloveacurry · 29/11/2019 23:05

It’s a lovely gift and she will love it. Your “friend” isn’t very nice. What a horrible comment.

LAlady · 29/11/2019 23:05

What a lovely, thoughtful and original gift. I know my daughter would've loved that.

Ignore the idiot (there's always one!).

ThisBear · 29/11/2019 23:05

That's a brilliant gift! Something she can really enjoy for a long time, too. Having your room decorated is a real treat when you're little, and the fairy lights and everything sound great!

tunnocksreturns2019 · 29/11/2019 23:05

A lovely present idea. And she’ll obviously get the use out of it - literally every day/night. I bet it makes her feel quite grown up too, and they love that.

I still remember my DCs reactions when I did similar for them. DD squealed with delight, and DS said ‘I’m a very lucky boy, aren’t I, Mummy?’

Definitely do it.

Goldenchildsmum · 29/11/2019 23:05

Even though she’s only 6, I want her to feel like she has a personal space that’s hers and not just a small white room with a bed and a toy box in it as that’s all it is right now.

You're a lovely mum and it's a brilliant idea. Don't listen to snarky snakes Thanks

Wildorchidz · 29/11/2019 23:06

Lovely idea.

MooPoo23 · 29/11/2019 23:07

I have her Thursday night from 7pm to Monday 1pm on the holidays (Its an unusual arrangement but I left as she had just started school and I felt bad moving her away from friends, family and school all at the same time. But it works for now as - and I know I may get shot down for this- but her dad is very manipulative so at least this way she spends more time away from that environment but still gets to see her dad during the week) so she’ll be with her dad while I work on her room.

Honestly, your responses have really cheered me up, thank you 😊

OP posts:
GorkyMcPorky · 29/11/2019 23:08

Well, if she had nothing else I'd say yabu for dressing up something you need to do anyway as her Christmas gift, bit what about treating the 6-7 presents you mention as being from FC and the decorating as your gift to her?

Elieza · 29/11/2019 23:08

OP I think she will love it too. She can choose the colour and you can do all the rest. It’s not going to be a cheap gift though! At least £70.