To get upset about Xmas gift?

[MooPoo23]

Hi,

I was just wondering if I could have your opinion.

I don’t have much money this year (I left a dv relationship last year and still haven’t recovered financially) and thought it would be nice to “do up” my daughters room as an Xmas gift.

I mentioned it to someone at my local play centre (we were all taking Xmas) and she laughed it off and said “tbf that’s a bit of a shit gift”.

I laughed and said “yeah, it was just an idea” but I actually felt quite sad about it.

Am I bu to be upset or would it be ok to do this? I really don’t have much to give, I have about 6-7 gifts for my dd (she’s 6 and will be getting things from her dad and his family).

All I’ll be doing is paining it pink, putting a rug, some fairy lights, a few wooden plaques with quotes on them, some new bedding and a few cushions. It’s not much but it’s the best I can do right now.

I honestly feel like a shit mum, but I’m trying my hardest and I do work but only part time.

Thank you for reading my message x

That is a beautiful gift. She will love it.

Gorgeous, sweet idea from a loving mum. She will love it. Kids love any new addition to their rooms. Mine do anyways. Don't heed that lady's comments. She probably doesn't have a clue of doing anything outside the norms of same old gift giving 😊

“Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music. And death a note unsaid.”

OP, I think you should try to move on from what happened and try create happy memories with your daughter rather than live in the past and grieve. Beyond and doubt you have all reasons to have your feelings and desires respected but as other posters have suggested you can maybe move your birthday to the summer or do something else that suits you more but please try to enjoy the time you have with your family and let your daughter celebrate with you.

My mum did this for me and it’s the only present I can remember. It was fantastic - she got a second hand bed and covered it in Dalmatian stickers and I thought it was the best thing ever

Wrong threat?
Something's wrong with Mumsnet

Please revisit this post in January when you all next meet up and share tales of Christmas and you can gleefully tell your stuck up mate how much your daughter loved her room present,in fact, I think we'd all love to see the finished present!
Primark has some nice things for rooms at good prices. She will love it

Also, get a brand new cuddly toy to go on the bed.
I saw some lovely ones in Peacocks the other day.

Awww OP I would have been absolutely over the moon to have this done for me as a Christmas present as a kid (hey even now I'd love it lol). That's a lovely idea and just ignore the silly woman as the baby group, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

Another person who thinks that's an amazing gift.

And 6 presents is plenty.

She's so LUCKY! What a lush Christmas she's going to have.

As a child I had my bedroom done up for a birthday once and it was amazing! Walking in to see it look totally different was just lovely, much nicer than upwrapping something random just for the hell of it. You can enjoy it a lot longer too

I used to love having my room done up - I was always nagging my parents to do it (they did to be fair but I wanted to keep updating it all the time - and I mean all the time).
Would love this as a gift - and she has loads of other stuff to “open” !
I suspect (hope) your friend was just not thinking rather than meaning to upset you. Try not to let it bother you.

Thank you so much for the overwhelming advice, support and love.

I’m going to continue with the bedroom and I absolutely take on board all of your advice and suggestions.

It’s so important to me to show her that Christmas is less about presents and more about the family you have.

My ex alienated me from my family (even though they were toxic too), my friends and just about everyone I knew. I moved an hour away to get away from him and for 2 weeks I didn’t even see my daughter as I had no furniture, gas, electric in the house and there was no room in the refuge I was offered originally.

I absolutely wouldn’t change my situation as it’s only made me stronger and it’s shocking to see how others have been through the same.

I’m going to wrap the cushion and the lights but the rest will go into her room for her to see on Boxing Day before she goes to bed. I’m going to put the ribbon on her door as suggested, and I think it’s goong to be one of her best gifts this year 😊 a real girly space she can call her own x

I think it’s a really lovely and thoughtful idea! My mum did my room up beautifully when I was a little girl, nothing expensive but colours and things I would like. I can still remember how special I felt to have my pretty room and I loved keeping it tidy and organised myself.

It will be a much longer lasting gift then another toy that might not get played with.

I think it is pretty unanimous that it will be a wonderful gift and that the other mum was rude and lacking in insight and social skills.
You should feel so proud of leaving a shit situation and setting a wonderful example to your daughter.
I wish you both a very happy Christmas in your new home

She is a knob , I think your daughter will be delighted with her room done up.

What's the "perfect" mother getting her kids..? More plastic tat toys for landfill.?

I'm all for experiences ie days out or something like what your doing for gifts. Much more meaning

Your not a shit mum, she is a cow

You sound a bloody lovely mum ❤️

I’m another one who remembers my bedroom being decorated for my birthday as a child. I was SO thrilled!

This thread has brought tears to my eyes . It’s the loveliest idea OP and your daughter is a very lucky girl to have you as her mum .
Happy Christmas to you both x

So glad you've decided to do do it. I'm sure her smile will be huge when she sees it.
You've also brought back a lovely memory for me too.
I was 10 (now in my 50's) and away with the school on holiday for a week.
Came back to find out my mum had decorated the box room for me. I can still remember the beautiful wallpaper she chose - cream background, with pink blossom on tree branches with tiny birds everywhere. A new duvet as well.
I had no idea she'd planned it but today you've put a smile on my face just remembering that day over 40 years ago xx

She already has 6 gifts! The room will be far more beneficial than any toy that gets played with for a few days. Children gets many unseen benefits from having a nice bedroom. So it might not be a gift to unwrap on the morning of Christmas but it will be a valuable gift.

I think it’s lovely, I’d wrap up all the accessories for her to open though. Have a lovely Christmas!

I, knowing that we lived in poverty when I was a small child, asked my dad how they had managed to provide all the presents we'd had. He laughed and said "They were all pocket money toys from Woolworths. As long as you had a few presents to unwrap, you were happy". And so will your daughter be, and your gift idea is lovely. She will be thrilled.

Wow OP! It really is a beautiful and thoughtful present! You are a fab mum!

It’s a lovely idea and having a special bedroom at your house will make her feel really loved and secure.

I can only reiterate that it's a wonderful gift. She will love it!

I did up my son's room for his 5th birthday. In colours he wanted with a Liverpool theme (not my first choice) and he so loves it! When he has friends over he proudly opens the door and says 'and this is my awesome bedroom'. Makes me so happy!

Only echoing everyone else but I really wanted to post to say that is honestly one of the best gifts you can give. Her own private space just as she likes it is wonderful. I did the same for my DD one year - the look on her little face. Beats a pile of crap that's forgotten come boxing day!