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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Grey hair!!

86 replies

NaturalHighlights · 28/11/2019 16:30

I am early 40’s. I’ve always had a bit of grey, and always had my hair coloured fairly regularly, on the basis that it’s not too noticeable (some people rock grey hair, but it’s not my personal choice).

Today, I had a blow dry for an event. And the hairdresser has parted it on the other side. Which looked nice until I got in a lift with a mirrored ceiling and realised that IT’S PRACTICALLY FUCKING WHITE.

So, AIBU to ask if you have much grey When did you go noticeably grey? Is early 40’s really early?? Why does the texture of the sodding grey hairs have to become so much less silky and more wiry?

OP posts:

Winesalot · 28/11/2019 16:33

yeah! shocker when that realisation hits isn't it.

And the grey hairs are thinner in diameter and coarser (hence wiry).

MatildeHidalgo · 28/11/2019 16:34

Is early 40’s really early??

Not at all.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 28/11/2019 16:36

Not early at all.

steff13 · 28/11/2019 16:36

My mom was completely salt and pepper when she was 30. I'm 42, and I have some greys. I color twice a year; I'm not at the point yet where I'm needing to color more often than that. The vast majority of my hair is still dark brown.

Winesalot · 28/11/2019 16:39

Early 40s is about right for me although I had a white patch that grew from 30s. Quite a few more random from 20 onwards.

I was very dark brown and kept the dyeing the roots up for nearly two decades (I have some friends who insist on doing it weekly still). But because my hair is so white on top now, I just went platinum. You'd be surprised what you can rock with that colour!

I did it now because frankly, I will be pure white all over within about 10 years anyway. I now get highlights down a couple of times a year and don't bother otherwise.

You do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Hingeandbracket · 28/11/2019 16:40

Mine started as a streak of grey when I was 18. WTF is the poll for?

DappledThings · 28/11/2019 16:41

I'm 40. Started going grey about 29 I think. It's now probably about 15% grey maybe.

Never had it coloured. I know there's no way I'd ever have the discipline to keep a colour maintained. Quite like it.

Winesalot · 28/11/2019 16:42

** sorry. I kept dyeing my roots every three weeks or so for nearly a decade. (Before that it was every 6 weeks)

Sally99 · 28/11/2019 16:43

I started dyeing my hair at the age of 18. I was white by 40.

I've no thoughts of giving in to the white for quite a while yet but think it will be a huge relief when I finally do.

Fatted · 28/11/2019 16:44

I'm 39. Mine is coming through more grey than anything else now. I'm giving up dying it. I just can't be arsed fighting the inevitable anymore.

MistyCloud · 28/11/2019 16:45

Oh no. This thread is only going to go one way.

Some posters will come on here saying they hate having grey hair and prefer to dye it, and others will post to say they are 'wrong' and should embrace their grey, and if they don't, they are 'bowing to the patriarchy.'

@NaturalHighlights What is your AIBU though? What is the question? Are you being unreasonable to ask or think what?

40s is not young to go grey by the way. I do know some people who started to go grey in their 30s. I also know some people who didn't start to go grey til they were past 50.

Everyone is different.

Original poster

NaturalHighlights · 28/11/2019 16:52

I guess Aibu to ask because it’s quite a personal question and none of my friends seem to be going grey, and I feel too young for it .

However it appears that I am not!

OP posts:

ItsJustTheOneSwanActually · 28/11/2019 16:55

i'm early 40s and totally grey

sunshineandshowers21 · 28/11/2019 16:55

i started going grey at 17! it’s only in one streak at the front though so it’s easy to hide if i miss a hairdresser’s appointment.

Fruityb · 28/11/2019 16:57

Since I was about 32...

Fr0g · 28/11/2019 16:58

When I was in my mids 40's, a colleague a similar age had the most stunning pure white hair, and it looked amazing, I loved it.
My hairdresser had said a few years earlier that my hair had too much grey for highlights, I should consider an all over colour, so I bit the bullet and started growing the colour out; took a while and a few relapses, but now hasn't had any colour in it for ages. It is not the perfect snowy white of my former colleague, but fairly white at the front and sides, but the back is a bit badger like.
It's cut in a quirky style, because I decided that If it was going to be grey, I didn't want to disappear into looking old and boring - which must be working because I generally get lots of compliments from complete strangers that it looks amazing.
Added plus - am offered seats on public transport a lot too.

piscis · 28/11/2019 16:59

I am 41 and 75% of my hair is white (I was told by a hairdresser), I started having some white hair in my early twenties. But it is a family thing, one of my brothers was the same, I don't think my case is the average.

TheFormidableMrsC · 28/11/2019 17:02

I know somebody who was completely steel grey at 19. I am embracing my grey and growing to love it. Not by choice, I have a severe allergy to dye so there is no other way

AgeShallNotWitherHer · 28/11/2019 17:12

It really varies. My best friend is well into her fifties and apart from a few grey streaks at the front she is otherwise still blondish- brown.

I, on the other hand had serious grey from my 30s!

Phillipa12 · 28/11/2019 17:12

I am 50% white and am 44, i have spent the last two years growing out the hair dye. I now just have a few highlights to blend it all so its not too salt and pepper and my hair looks amazing. (Well i think it does and have also had plenty of compliments) I cannot wait till i am completely white!

Meercatsarecats · 28/11/2019 17:18

I'm early 30s and have been going grey since I was about 15.
I used to dye it but I was having to cover my roots more and more often and just got sick of spending the time and money on a smelly messy process so I stopped.
Personally I think it looks lovely, the grow out was hard at certain point but I'm glad I stuck at it.
I look young for my age so sometimes I get funny looks from people trying to work me out but i dont think it ages me too much

Girlwithkaleidoscopehair · 28/11/2019 17:21

I had to start dyeing early twenties and as I had very very dark brown hair by the time I was 41 I had to dye it every week and still had a white stripe at hairline. Four years ago I bit the bullet and did what I was too scared to do before 1 I had it bleached (took hours) and dyed pink! After a few different colours I went steely blue - which hardly showed when it grew out, then I grew out all the bleached hair and now I have I bleached beaut that I dye a colour every month or so. I absolutely love it !

The brown dye has a really nasty chemical in it that burnt my skull (and I know you can easily become allergic) - but the bright coloured dyes aren’t like that - ironically as they look so unnatural. No burning skin ;-)

SilverySurfer · 28/11/2019 17:23

I've managed to reach mid 70s without dying my hair and unlikely to start now. Embrace the grey! You don't want to be one of those little old ladies with obviously dyed dark brown hair - it's not a good look.

Underhisi · 28/11/2019 17:27

I'm 50 and about 25% grey. I started dying it in my early 40's but stopped a couple of years ago because it had got in a poor condition and now prefer it its natural colour.

smileylottie87 · 28/11/2019 17:38

Started in my early 20's with the odd few, now early 30's and I have loads on top and I have no safe parting left but the rest of my hair isn't so bad. My hair is very dark brown so really noticeable, it does get me down quite a bit. I use a semi permanent box dye which I have to leave on for 3 times longer than recommended (or it doesn't really take) and lasts 3-4 weeks, it is shit. Where is the tablet I can take to restore the colour?!

40's is early for some but not others, we are all different but still grey at the end of the day!

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