I’m breastfeeding a 3 week old baby and my dinner is a mushroom. AIBU to murder my husband in a hangry rage?!

[AngeloMysterioso]

Literally that.

MIL bought some big mushrooms at the weekend and there was one left, so she put some breadcrumbs and cheese on it for me. A little while ago I fell asleep on the sofa. Woke up and asked DH what he wanted for dinner. He said he’d just had his, he cooked/ate it while I was asleep. He made himself a bowl of pasta. I asked if there was any left for me? “No, I didn’t make you any. I thought you were having that mushroom.”

So... my dinner is a mushroom.

This mushroom isn’t the size of a plate or anything. It’s a big mushroom, but it’s still just a fucking mushroom.

Send him out for takeaway x

Id also be really annoyed at this. Very selfish.

Sorry about the kiss, I was emphasizing so much.

Kill him and bury him under the patio. I’ll be your alibi.

My DH isn't very intuitive with this sort of thing either, which is annoying when you're 3 weeks post-birth and sort of need other people to do their own thinking with a bit of consideration for you thrown in. That said, if I'd corrected him and said that wouldn't be enough on his own he'd have gotten back up and made me some pasta too... so maybe just ask him?

Have you managed to shove the mushroom up is nose yet?

Tell him that a whole bloody cup full of mushrooms is 15 fucking calories FIFTEEN!!!! Ask him to name any other meal he has ever eaten with just 15kcals in it!

Do it whilst you shove that mushroom up his left nostril!

Make him get you some pasta! Or order in a delicious pizza. He knows you need extra calories, right?

Yes, breastfeeding hanger is perfectly good justification for mushroomy murder pleas

Wow that's so selfish. Does he understand that breastfeeding can make you ravenous?

OMG what a knob. A mushroom - ONE MUSHROOM - for a breastfeeding new mother?? What a twat.

Please say he is now making you some serious side dishes?

So now that you've put him straight, he's cooking you something/collecting you a takeaway as we speak, isn't he?

Get Deliveroo. Order your husband's favourite meal, and have it delivered pronto. but don't give him any. Absolute fuckwit.

Put mushroom up his .....

He pointed out that I have a half-eaten wrap left over in the fridge which I could have “if” I’m still hungry.

Feast your eyes on my dinner, ladies... try not to get food envy!

Omg. Cannibalism?

Seriously though, order yourself a pizza.

Why is he not doing the food prep and cooking? For tonight order in and tomorrow he can organise an online shop and meal plan for the next few weeks.

I have hangry boob rage for you! Totally justified.
Must admit my DH would do similar without thinking, but would run back to the kitchen once he saw the look on my face.

I would get him to make me something.
Selfish twat

That's a plate.

My was meant to be ....
Hope he is cooking or food is on it’s way. I’m hungry at the thought of just a mushroom and I’ve already eaten, though my three month old is stealing everything via milk at current.

How’s the new patio looking?

Wouldn’t have shoved the mushroom up his nose.. it’d have went somewhere much darker and more painful.. maybe brushed in chilli oil first.

Get yourself a nice takeaway cause you’re still starving and he’s already ate.

Jesus Christ, don't eat that plate of joyless nonsense, send him out to get you a pizza!

What a dick.

It couldn't possibly have been you who choked him on a mushroom, you were with me the whole time.

Now order take out, something which will give smelly poos in the baby (ironically, that was garlic mushrooms in cheese with DD) and make sure he's on nappy duty.

Order a large pizza. Use his bank card to pay for it. Don't offer him a slice. Eat leftovers tomorrow and don't let him have a bite. If he says he's hungry, offer him a half eaten wrap.