To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

@SemperIdem. “I absolutely love the name Priya, I think it is one of the most beautiful names ever. However with absolutely no link to India or Hinduism I think using it would set my child up for a lifetime of “but why?”.

Just invent something. People are obsessed with saying “actually I’m 1/64 xx country”.

@Corneliawildthing I agree, I'm Scottish too and like it when people say they just liked the (Scottish) name so that's why they chose it.

@SemperIdem yes went to school with a Luca who was Italian but have two non-Italian neighbours who called their sons Luca. They just liked the name.

Anyone can name their child whatever they want.

My parents gave me a name which is ‘English’ because they liked it. Nothing more to it.

It’s like after One Direction became popular, I came across many English boys with the name Zayn/Zayne. First names and surnames. I know Zayn Malik is half English but the name is usually associated with Asians.

I’ve also come across many Asians naming their children Noah and Hannah.

• first names and middle names. Not surnames.

My name is from an oppressed country that many people from Britain are racist against. My heritage is from said country, I am half British/Irish, half other country.

About 20 years ago my name became really popular here, it’s even been anglicised and is used fairly widely, people have heard of the name because it got popular due to a couple of celebrities and a film. When I was born (quite a while before!) my name was very unusual here.

I don’t find it that weird for English people to use the name. I like my name, it’s pretty.

I think it’s nice that they choose to honour a beautiful part of my heritage. Of course there are always some that don’t actually know the full name history or origin. Who cares!

I can categorically say I don’t think it’s cultural appropriation.

My cousin has done the reverse - change his name to a Western name to avoid the racists. We did think it was a little odd but it’s fine, he has a high profile so it helps him. It’s his choice, his name. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, either!

My first name is Spanish. I am not Spanish, neither were my parents. They chose it simply because they liked how it sounded. Lots of people comment on it. Every time I meet anyone Spanish they are always thrilled by my name and think its wonderful my parents chose it- they take it as the compliment it was intended to be. You are naming the person you love most in the world that name- to take that any other way than huge compliment is being ridiculous. Plus- who the hell are they to determine who has the right to a name and who doesn't? Who made them queen of the world? By that rationale, you could argue anyone who cannot prove their DNA ancestry over a certain % shouldn't be allowed to use any names that are unconnected to their ancestry- and where do you draw the line?- is 9% ancestry enough to allow the use of name? or is it not enough? maybe over 50% ancestry would be a better threshold- see how ridiculous this sounds?

I think people saying "I'm not German but I named my son Wilhelm after my favorite German poet" are massively missing the point. That's not cultural appropriation.

For example, if a couple have their honeymoon on a Micronesian Island and call their first-born a Micronesian word that means sacred Goddess. That can be quite offensive to the Micronesian people because that word is of huge cultural and religious importance for them and it was taken from their culture and misused. That's what cultural appropriation is about.

Another example is Kim Kardashian's attempt to trademark the word "kimono" for her underwear line. It caused a huge amount of upset in Japan.

Cultural appropriation is a real issue.

OK- I feel in the mood for mockery and derision. My ds busks. Sometimes he busks with his didgeridoo. He is, as far as it is possible to be, a very good didgeridoo player. It makes me very uncomfortable to see a floppy haired posh boy in an English market town earning money playing an instrument beloved of a people his recent ancestors helped drive to the point of extinction. It is decorated with symbols which for all we know are sacred. I think it is very problematic and I wish he wouldn’t do it. It is, I believe, cultural appropriation. (I am the first person in my family on my father’s side born outside Australia for 5 generations)

@BlackCatSleeping
“ Cultural appropriation is a real issue”

But do you think OP was doing that with how she named her child?

But do you think OP was doing that with how she named her child?

Honestly, we can't know that unless we know the name. If her daughter is called Sofia. I really don't think it's an issue. If she is called something like Kumari, which has cultural or religious significance, then I don't think that is ok.

Well that demonstrates my point about knowledge....really, I can’t just hear a name, like it, and use it?

To quote the Dowager Countess, I hanker for a simpler world.

@BlackCatSleeping

Suppose the couple on the honeymoon on a Micronesian island chose that very destination because the woman has Micronesian heritage from 7 generations ago. Is it ok to use the name then? is having 1/32 Micronesian blood heritage mean its acceptable to use that name? what about less than that? and does that make naming your child after a Micronesian religious goddess when you live in Chelsea not offensive but someone who has no % Micronesian blood IS being offensive- I'm curious where the line is drawn here as to what constitutes being offensive vs how much connection you should legitimately have to that culture to make it "not" offensive. Also, whom determines that? I could have a Micronesian mother but it could STILL be considered offensive to name my child after a goddess if it is religious and sacred to those Islanders.

BTW I agree that cultural appropriation is a real issue, I'm just saying its not as clear cut as people make out

Well that demonstrates my point about knowledge....really, I can’t just hear a name, like it, and use it?

Well, no, not really.

If a Chinese couple name their child "Arsehole" because they heard a foreigner saying it and thought it would make a pretty name for their daughter. Is that ok?

Ignorance is not an excuse for being culturally insensitive. People in Western cultures go abroad, they see cool things, so they take them without any thought or consideration for the people to whom the things belong. That's not an ok thing to do, even if their intentions were good.

@beautifulstranger101

I guess my point is that it wasn't actually a name. Micronesians would never use it as a name. That's why it's disrespectful to use it as a name in that case.

Is it disrespectful for a white couple to call their baby boy Mohammed even if one of them has a great great grandfather who was muslim? Like I said in a previous post, whether this sort of thing is offensive or not is often subjective. Some people may think it's fine, some people would find it offensive. That's the risk you take when choosing such a name.

One of my friends at college was Chinese. He had a name he was very embarrassed about, he knew it was rude to western ears so changed to a boring English Christian name.

I have loads of black friends who don't mind me pinging their afro hair. Some people are just so uptight these days.

You pinged my afro you'd lose your hand.

@BlackCatSleeping

Seriously

Okay, let’s imagine I hear Mausumi and like it and have no connection. Google can’t tell me everything. Is it okay to call my child that name? Or Cerys? Or, um, not arsehole? Must I check every holy book and do major cultural research before choosing?

LifeImplosionImminent
I was joking and being sarcastic repling to a PP's post in a similar vein, don't worry.


MN totally needs a friendly sarcasm / jest emoji

She should be flattered. Ignore...regardless of race or culture...she is bonkers ( sorry to offend those with mental health issues).

@ims0rrydarlin

I’ve also come across many Asians naming their children Noah and Hannah

Both names are common Arabic names as
Noah = Arabic for Prophet Noah but pronounced 'Nuh'
Hannah = means Affectionate in Arabic but pronounced 'Hana'

OK- I feel in the mood for mockery and derision. grin My ds busks. Sometimes he busks with his didgeridoo. He is, as far as it is possible to be, a very good didgeridoo player. It makes me very uncomfortable to see a floppy haired posh boy in an English market town earning money playing an instrument beloved of a people his recent ancestors helped drive to the point of extinction. It is decorated with symbols which for all we know are sacred. I think it is very problematic and I wish he wouldn’t do it. It is, I believe, cultural appropriation. (I am the first person in my family on my father’s side born outside Australia for 5 generations)

BertrandRussell While it”s great your DS is earning money, this is cultural appropriation. No white person in Australia would do that unless invited to first by an Aboriginal person. It just wouldn’t be right. So you’re correct to feel uncomfortable!

A white Muslim may well call their Son Muhammed.

@june2007 if the boy had a lastname to match then no-one would bat an eyelid until they met him. Then they be trying to work out where he was from.

If he was going for jobs as an adult he would find he wouldn't get pass the CV selection stage for the majority of jobs he applied for.