To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

I roll my eyes internally when I meet little girls called MacKenzie but I only get cross when I hear or read people saying that the name isn't Scottish and doesn't mean son of Kenzie.

Very few names haven't travelled from somewhere else after all.

I think it's a tricky one. My dd is named after dh's great aunt and it's a name more commonly used in continential Europe than here. Lots of people on hearing me call her have asked where her name came from and I definitely get the impression they're expecting the sort of story they get, i.e. some sort of family connection. I must admit I (with a huge Irish family on one side) find it a bit odd when people give their kids Irish names with zero connection to Ireland for example. Possibly because my dm with a clearly Irish first and last name got a ton of abuse growing up in England in the 1950s.

It depends on the power dynamic. If it's a name from a country which used to be in the British empire, then yes, it's totally cultural appropriation. If it's, say, a Scandinavian name, then it's not a problem. Cultural appropriation is about people from countries with historical or contemporary power exerting that power by picking and choosing parts of the subordinate country's culture to use for themselves. Other people and their cultures don't exist merely for our benefit, to sound pretty, or look exotic, or whatever. And while the individual action may seem trivial, when it's happening a lot throughout society, it really isn't.

I mean, what options are there for truly "english" names? I can't think of that many. If you're European and have picked a name from another European country then I dont see the problem. I could see it being a bit strange if it's a name from an African or Asian country but hardly cultural appropriation unless you are also raising your child in the tradition of that particular country or something. It's just a name

@NewUsername18382828 YANBU at all.

People have given their kids names that don't originate in the UK (or their own country IYSWIM) for donkeys years.

If someone has a kid called Chantelle, or Siobhan, 'I don't think well THEY are not French/Irish, how massively racist!

WTF has it got to do with this 'mum' why you called your DD what you did. Tell her you don't have to answer to anyone. Coz basically you don't!

Some people are ridiculous.

Totally agree with @bridgetreilly and she said it better than I could.

She’s being ridiculous. I’d be annoyed enough to speak to the head teacher and request that this bullying be stopped before her child starts repeating it and bullying your child.

YANBU - she’s clearly batshit.

Most names are foreign?!

Even things like Louise are French!

I suspect her own name is foreign?!

My name is Greek, my kids have English names that are English versions of French names - hence why I know Louise is French ;)

She sounds rude.

Like PP said, a non English but still European name would be the mother making a mountain out of a molehill.

Having said that, I would find it really unusual for someone who is white British to use a traditional African name or an Asian name.

If it is an Irish name, tell her to Pog Mo Thoin.

(yes, I know the punctuation on that is missing but I don't know how to get them on!)

She is a twat.

Many names we use are from other languages and cultures. The sources of traditional names are frequently biblical, Greek, Latin, French, Germanic. There's no reason why those should remain the only sources and the flow of names will speed up as migration in all sorts of directions is much higher now.

That said, we didn't give DD1 a Welsh name we liked or one from my DM's culture. More for pronunciation reasons than anything else, as we were concerned that we weren't saying them right.

It’s borderline insulting I think when it’s used incorrectly and with no links to the country.

I'm Scottish and think it is nice when other nationalities use Scottish names.

Let her get over herself, you've done nothing wrong. How many English people actually have English names anyway? My brother and I have French names, my husband's name is Gaelic, my parents names are Hebrew. Sounds exotic but we're all as English as it gets, nobody's ever bollocked us for it.

Cultural integration is ok, it becomes cultural appropriation when somebody gets upset!

Ignore her.

What @EllaEllaE said is the critical point here. It depends on the power imbalance between your nationality and the country that the name 'originates'.

You have to be a wee bit careful about cultural appropriation. Some things influence mainstream culture without any appropriation being involved. My white DSs picked up the lilt and speaking patterns of the other children in their black majority school, and got called out for it. They were surrounded by those voices, and their voices were influenced.

And then there is food... are we going to eat meat and two veg forever, despite delicious cuisines from other countries?

@TitusOatesLivesNextDoor if you hold down the letter a little bar with all the variants of that letter should appear

My kids have Scottish first names, with Welsh surnames, we’re English 🤷🏼‍♀️

Who cares, you like the name. Just smile at her and keep walking, weirdo

To everyone saying that means that English people can only have English names are spectacularly missing the point...

What's her DDs name and what nationality is she?

I think that other woman is rude and a gossip, which is a far greater crime than you choosing a beautiful name from her culture.

I think it's only really awful if the name is misspelled, or spelled phonetically (think Shevaunne for Siobhan).