To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

What a load of bloody nonsense. Call your kid whatever name you like. I'd be confronting her. Probably not the best advice lol but she is bad mouthing you to others and it shouldn't be allowed to continue.

@hoxtonbabe, I don't think anyone "borrows" things from other cultures, but in the same way that someone white is being accused of borrowing a name or curly hair/hair styles from non-white cultures, the same could be said in reverse. As far as I am concerned, this should not be an issue either way.

I’d say choosing a name which a child’s close friends/family have trouble pronouncing because it contains phonetic sounds etc not easily accessible/pronounceable to most people would be a stupid choice of name, but not cultural appropriation. You can be respectful of or disrespectful of another culture - everyone knows what this means. There is no need for the phrase cultural appropriation.

I think people have to consider why they are so keen to use Irish or Greek names, but don't see anyone rushing to use Chinese names.

It's not really an easy issue because we live in a globalised world but I would always try to be mindful of why I like a particular name.

"There is no need for the phrase cultural appropriation..." when you are from the majority race.

For those who are not, it's a different story, however.

Because our own language has been shaped by Celtic and Greek words, not Chinese??

@WatchingTheMoon. There is no need for the phrase cultural appropriation..." when you are from the majority race. For those who are not, it's a different story, however.

There is a need for a phrase to be used only for some races at some times, but not for other races? Why is that? Can you give an example?

Because our own language has been shaped by Celtic and Greek words, not Chinese??

Yes, I tend to think that too. Also, Celtic and Greek culture and history has long been a part of the UK cultural narrative in a way that Chinese hasn't. Not that that isn't something worth reflecting on, admittedly.

Craig as in rock is pronounced like Cry-g, not Cray-g.

The MP Nia Griffith has a very popular welsh first name, but when I've heard her name reported they say it N-eye-a.

It's Nee-ah.

But it’s indicative of the low expectations set for compassion and respect in our society and how people live in different worlds in the same country that there is so little understanding of why this could be a problem.
I don't think it is. I could find loads things people do that would upset me if I went out looking for it and intending to be upset about it, but when they have meant no harm how can this be about lack of respect or compassion and why make it an issue when there are intentional harm-causing issues which are minimised by making everything an issue.

Honestly it's ridiculous to say that. People are free to use a name, dress or eat the food of any country.
I was born in Mexico and my name is Irish so what?
My mother liked it and that's that. We used a Welsh name for our son but he was born in England.
If people dress or do anything Mexican I find it adorable. Very flattering for people to like our culture.
That other Mum is very small minded.

"There is a need for a phrase to be used only for some races at some times, but not for other races? Why is that? Can you give an example?"

That's obviously not what I meant.

When you are in the majority race, cultural appropriation won't bother you. When you're not, it very often might.

There are literally thousands of examples all over the internet. I suggest googling.

There is a need for a phrase to be used only for some races at some times, but not for other races? Why is that? Can you give an example?

Why are you claiming that something you clearly don't know the first thing about doesn't exist?

WatchingTheMoon That's obviously not what I meant.

But you wrote *For those who are not [part of a majority race], it's a different story, however [one would need the term "cultural appropriation"]

So that does mean what I wrote earlier. You are saying if you are of one race at a particular time when you are in the minority, you can use cultural appropriation, but if you are a different race, you can't. Or "need" to use your exact word.

I again ask you, why is that?

There are literally thousands of examples all over the internet.
OK, but I only asked you for one example of what you have yourself written. Do you have one?

@Gallivespian
Why are you claiming that something you clearly don't know the first thing about doesn't exist?

Could you show us where I said it doesn't exist?

@Devereux1 If you're not able to extrapolate meaning, that's not my issue.

It's also not my issue to do your research for you. If you're interested, please feel free to go ahead and educate yourself as thousands of other people have done. As it is, I think you're probably just a goady fucker.

*Craig as in rock is pronounced like Cry-g, not Cray-g.

The MP Nia Griffith has a very popular welsh first name, but when I've heard her name reported they say it N-eye-a.

It's Nee-ah.*

Yes that sets my teeth on edge. Also the TV presenter Lowri Turner - it’s pronounced as in low volume, not to rhyme with now.

@Footiefan2019 never knew Eira was Norwegian too, you learn something every day in here.

@WatchingTheMoon

It's not question of extrapolating meaning, it's directly taking the meaning which your own words have stated.
Which curiously you don't seem to want to explain or even provide one single example of.

You said that some races at certain times can use the phrase "cultural appropriation", whilst other races cannot. I find that extraordinary. If that's not what you meant, I invite you explain what you did mean then. But you won't.

The trouble is that the mispronunciations become mainstream and beautiful welsh names become Dillun, Rees, Lowry, Bethun, etc.

Amelie and Elodie are pretty in a French accent (can't be bothered to look up alt-codes) , but sound like Ammuhly and Elluhdy here.

Not personal names but Innis Monn and Plide Coomree set my teeth on edge.

@Devereux1 No, that is not what I said. I'm not getting into a debate with you, because you are derailing. I wonder why.

People mean no harm when they ask to touch my friend’s hair. They mean no harm when they ask where she is from. Unfortunately, meaning no harm does not mean people’s behaviour is ok. Meaning no harm when culturally appropriating a name may still justifiably cause offence and hurt to some people (eg the Saoirsa example again).
Sure, there is a difference between explicit and implicit racism, but just because one is worse, doesn’t make the other one ok. And just because some people are happy to ignore micro aggressions, doesn’t mean everyone should have to 🤷‍♀️

It would be grossly ironic for white people to start getting offended by people of colour adopting any of our customs or traditions, after centuries of forcing many of these onto different parts of the world as cruel colonial masters.
It really is not distant history when many people were so overtly racist that some BAME people felt they had to do what they could to fit in, in order to be less of a target, including trying to be as British as possible. So, would be pretty silly to forget all this and to think it’d be just as offensive for a PoC to borrow a white cultural tradition/hairstyle as the other way round nowadays.

WatchingTheMoon @Devereux1 No, that is not what I said. I'm not getting into a debate with you, because you are derailing. I wonder why.

Wow, the irony of accusing me of derailing when I quote you verbatim, ask you direct questions about what you wrote and ask you to provide one single example of what you wrote!

I couldn't be more exactly on topic and directly responding to every word you said if I tried!

You keep saying it's not what you said, it's not what you meant, but you still can't say what it was then.

Why are you evading like this? Just say what you really said or meant and provide an example. If you can't, just say you can't.

@WatchingTheMoon. There is no need for the phrase cultural appropriation..." when you are from the majority race. For those who are not, it's a different story, however.

If you don't mean some races can use the phrase when they're in a minority, but some can't when they're the majority, what exactly do you mean then?

“ Agree it's cringe to call your child a name from a completely different culture for no reason.”

Why? And how would you ever know?

My auntie, not from the UK, named her child after a Greek goddess; she was doing a PhD in mythology or summat when she was pregnant.

She then gave her an English middle name, oh the horror, living in a former colony.

Said child now an adult living in the US and constantly baffled- as am I - by all this “cultural appropriation” crap.

An English friend gave her child a name from a country where works a lot.

I guess none of this is okay for the CA crowd.