To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

You don’t know what Passports I own.

No, but given that someone who lives in my village (English midlands) and has always paraded his utter ignorance of Irish history, claimed that 'the Irish' were sabotaging Brexit, as well as making sundry remarks about brogues and superstitious, priest-ridden peasants etc etc I could go on is now priding himself on his savvy at having acquired an Irish passport, I wouldn't say that what passports anyone possesses has any bearing on their knowledge of, or insight into, a culture.

Calling your child Cariad does seem weird. A Welsh (but not Welsh speaking) friend called her daughter this.
I guess though it's similar to calling your child Blessing or Beloved? But counts as "made up"

My Grandma loves Cariad as a name I'd use it as a middle perhaps just because I know she likes it.

I'm Welsh, but as a non-Welsh speaker I thought it would be daft to choose a Welsh name. Cultural appropriation is a massive stretch though.

I don't like it because the names usually aren't pronounced the same. When the name becomes more mainstream, the anglicised version becomes normalised.
I think that it can be a bit downmarket. The names tend to be trendy and end up being dated.
Kevin and Sheila would be examples of nice names that now seem dated. Caoimhín and Síle don't seem dated.

@Gallivespian ok. But I think your experience of this person is clouding your view on others.

The Danes didn't kill the Anglo Saxons living there (well maybe a few) but did replace the leaders and nobles.

Now I'm confused even more. If I use a Danish name is that CA? Or can I claim the Danes have oppressed us now?

Where is the op to tell us the name!

A good rule of thumb in the UK is that if you look at place names the languages they come from tell you who your former oppressors were. @Snoozysnoozy
Most places have a good mixture.

But I think your experience of this person is clouding your view on others.

Honestly, @Footiefan2019, I wish it were only one person. Anti-Irish feeling is alive and well in at least this bit of rural England in 2019, alas. I've spoken about it on Mn before a few years back, and really, it's too depressing to type out a list of representative instances again, but the discourses of Brexit seem to be legitimating or reviving anti-Irish sentiment again.

Footiefan2019 you've tagged me but I don't know which of my posts you're referring to?

I live in the Midkands, too, in what is a very safe tory seat. But things are changing. Slowly, it's true, but changing.

I'm English, with Scottish heritage, have a name that comes from Greek name, with DCs who have names of a Biblical, Welsh or German origin. But these names sound so English.

Or can I claim the Danes have oppressed us now?

The Danes did oppress your ancestors, assuming they lived in England in the 10th Century, but then chances are because of inter-marriage some of your ancestors were also the ones doing the oppressing.

I find it interesting that some appropriation seems to be massively offensive, whilst ignoring other power imbalances. By that I mean, we shouldn’t appropriate from a country we once had power over - fine. But we ignore that it was MEN, who held the power, not women, so why are we held responsible for their actions?

The theres men transitioning to women which were all meant to be incredibly supportive of, yet an English person calling their daughter a Welsh name is bad. I just don’t get it.

As a mix of English, Scots and Irish i feel very conflicted. Like there's a continuous internal battle for supremacy within me.

Gallivespian I've noticed so much anti-Irishness aroused by Brexit for sure. And as a small country once colonised by Britain and until recently part of it still occupied, the idea that Ireland is more or less British is historically inaccurate and completely ignores the fact that there was an actual revolution in Ireland to get rid of the British! Why all the controversy over the backstop otherwise? I think quite a few people on MN got quite a history lesson in the threads about that, me included!

I've often wondered if there's a Chinese or Indian version of MN where posters are getting into the same arguments from the other side. Like a 20 page thread on whether it's cultural appropriation to call your child 'Isla' when you're from the Jiangsu province

I doubt it, they probably have more to worry about. I may have missed some posts, but it seems that the few people who say they are from a different culture don't see the problem, and it's mainly white people getting their knickers in a knot about it.

If a person from Pakistan told me he didn’t mind being called a Paki, I still wouldn’t do it.

This kind of 'Oh, the British Isles [itself a problematic term for many] is just a mixed-up, cheery melting pot' attitude is often used by a particular type of English person to minimise historical oppression of neighbouring countries.

The people who were doing the oppressing were also oppressing coal miners in Durham and agricultural labourers in Dorset.

The deep and wilful refusal on this thread to even entertain the concept that cultural appropriation exists is embarrassing to witness.

Hundreds of posts that say little more than "it's never happened to me so it doesn't exist."

but then chances are because of inter-marriage some of your ancestors were also the ones doing the oppressing.

Well now I am in a quandary.

A

Wow imagine a brand new poster starting a controversial thread about something guaranteed to spark a bunfight then fucking off

I am SHOOK

@Dutch1e. The deep and wilful refusal on this thread to even entertain the concept that cultural appropriation exists is embarrassing to witness.

I've not seen any post which denies it exists. Could you point them out @Dutch1e?

Moreso, I even said categorically that this was cultural appropriation and there is nothing wrong with it. Why do you think there is something wrong with it?

Yes of course cultural appropriation exists. For example in using some sacred icons as fashion accessories - think Native American headpieces, which have deep sacred meaning, being used in fashion shows to sell clothes. Yes it exists but i think in the case of a chosen name, the line is not clear at all.

Agree it's cringe to call your child a name from a completely different culture for no reason.

Also, this thread is gross.

I think the main point is: even if the other mum has a valid point about the choice of name being a bit insensitive, kicking up a fuss which is likely to cause distress to THE CHILD WHOSE NAME IT IS doesn't give her much moral high ground. It's not the child's fault.

Calling your child Cariad does seem weird. A Welsh (but not Welsh speaking) friend called her daughter this.
Agree.
I guess though it's similar to calling your child Blessing or Beloved? But counts as "made up"
No - it's like calling your child Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Charity*, Boyfriend or Girlfriend.

*It's not usually used as a word for charity, other than in the ' faith, hope and charity' meaning. (Ffydd, gobaith, cariad)

My other obection to using Cariad as a name is that people say it as Carry-ad when it is Carr-yad