To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

OP

She sounds nuts, is your dd called Kylie?

Hands up Irish MNers, just how many 'Mary's have you encountered? Do any of them think they have foreign names?

Lots of children born in WWI were names after battles their fathers fought in.

Wow imagine a brand new poster starting a controversial thread about something guaranteed to spark a bunfight then fucking off

I am SHOOK

@MindyStClaire because people from their have some sort of weird obsessive claimant behaviour of a culture which actually isn’t that unique

Fascinating discussion!
I have to admit I raised an eyebrow at an acquaintance with no Irish ancestry at all who named her daughter Maeve as it was exotic and different and seemed amazed when I mentioned it was Irish and there had been a Queen Maeve. She had no clue it was Irish, she'd heard it on tv.

I would love to know the name in the OP!

Wow imagine a brand new poster starting a controversial thread about something guaranteed to spark a bunfight then fucking off

Haha was just about to post that. I knew after page 4 with no response from the OP that he/she wouldn’t have been back.

because people from their have some sort of weird obsessive claimant behaviour of a culture which actually isn’t that unique

Do explain, @Footiefan2019.

@havingtochangeusernameagain you basically said what I was trying to say upthread but got called racist.

ps I have never come across an Irish Deirdre pronounced as Deer dree. They are all Deer Dra and I am of a generation when that name was very popular. And born in Dublin, so it is not a Dublin thing either as has been suggested. Have only ever heard it pronounced that way in the UK.

Caitlyn is another excellent example of a name whose pronunciation has evolved into an entirely different name!

@Gallivespian the British isles is historically a melting pot, Celtic / Brythonic cultures influenced by various invaders over the years to produce what we have now. It’s he sort of American obsession with ‘heritage’ I see quite a lot now - ‘well my Grandad’s Welsh so I feel such a special place in my soul for the country’ type of crap.

I actually have nothing against patriotism to an extent. I love belting out Flower of Scotland during the rugby or whatever. But I think claiming someone born in England can’t be called Rhys is just taking it too far. There’s too much physical (as in DNA) and cultural cross over.

If we could only pick English girls names we'd have what? Wendy (definitely created in England)? A lot of what I think of as Englsh names are biblical so definitely not English in origin.

HOWEVER when you’re talking about cultures and countries which are far removed from the British experience the story changes - I agree that it’s unnecessary for example to call a white British boy Muhammad. - but then what if the parents are recent converts to Islam ? There’s a lot of interesting viewpoints wherever you’re standing .

“ I agree that it’s unnecessary for example to call a white British boy Muhammad. - but then what if the parents are recent converts to Islam? “

Well, then they would have a real connection with Islam. If you’re thinking about my post, I deliberately talked about religion , not nationality, race or colour.

sorry @bertrand I didn’t honestly read your post that much it was more one of the earlier posts I was referring to. But religion and race and how they interact is massively interesting to me. Like people’s self-identity, based on their origin or their beliefs.

I'm Welsh, but as a non-Welsh speaker I thought it would be daft to choose a Welsh name. Cultural appropriation is a massive stretch though.

But the argument could be made. Wales could be said to have been exploited by the English (flooded valleys for reservoirs, for example) and there were attempts to destroy the Welsh language.

With a few exceptions, most things I've seen labeled as "cultural appropriation" have been worthy of an eye-roll, a quiet sigh, and nothing else.

Generally speaking, the concept of "cultural appropriation" is (imho) stupid, as is this other mother. She needs to mind her own business. What someone else names their child (as long as it's not harmful to the child) is none of her concern.

Of course it's cultural appropriation - and there's nothing wrong with that at all.

In nearly every aspect of life, of every nation in the world, there is the cultural appropriation of someting. There is nothing wrong with it, no matter what people may try and tell you.

the British isles is historically a melting pot, Celtic / Brythonic cultures influenced by various invaders over the years to produce what we have now. It’s he sort of American obsession with ‘heritage’ I see quite a lot now - ‘well my Grandad’s Welsh so I feel such a special place in my soul for the country’ type of crap

This kind of 'Oh, the British Isles [itself a problematic term for many] is just a mixed-up, cheery melting pot' attitude is often used by a particular type of English person to minimise historical oppression of neighbouring countries. Having a strong grasp on the history of these islands is not equivalent to a content-free discovery of a sudden strong affinity for Country X based on what a DNA Ancestry check told you is your 2% heritage from there.

CBA reading the whole thread - do we find out what the name is?

@Gallivespian you’re putting words into my mouth completely. Did I say ‘cheery melting pot?’ Did I imply that there was nothing problematic about the argument ? No. Stop putting your own perspectives on other people’s. You don’t know what Passports I own.

That woman needs to get a life. Call your child what you want. Nobody's business at all.

I think the mum was utterly rude. It’s incredibly low to criticize another parent over the name they choose for their child and the whole excuse of cultural appropriation is not relevant in this case.
You can not dictate that someone from another country or culture can not use a name from your country/culture.
The mum sounds batshit and if she’s spreading truly harmful rumors about you, such as accusations of racism, I’d consider further (legal) action.

I'm Welsh, but as a non-Welsh speaker I thought it would be daft to choose a Welsh name. Cultural appropriation is a massive stretch though.

That's not a good reason not to choose the name imo, it helps to try and keep the language alive

You can go further back though, Gallivespian
I was reading a history book about the arrival of the Danes in Northumbria.
The Danes didn't kill the Anglo Saxons living there (well maybe a few) but did replace the leaders and nobles.
But within a generation the Saxon peasants were naming their children Danish names.

The English giving Welsh names is interesting, as a PP said it could be viewed as CA due to the history there.

But then, you might think that about me. I'm just an English woman, born and raised here, same as my mum. But my great-grandmother and my great-great grandmother etc etc were all Welsh. My grandmother was born in Llandudno Junction, could speak Welsh, but when her mother moved the family to England she lost the language, and that's that. I've never set foot in Wales, but it is in my heritage, despite me being English no doubt about it.

Interestingly, my great-grandmother remarried when she moved to England, and my grandmother gained a Polish step-father who had come to England after the atrocities he faced in WWII. My grandmother speaks fondly of him, it is clear she looked up to him and respected him, my grandfather too.

As for grandma, her first husband was English but with German heritage (my bio grandfather but I never met him as they split before I was born), she lived in Germany for a while with him, his grandparents spoke fluent German, I believe his parents had moved to England (similar to mely grandma then with Wales)

I guess what I'm saying is nationality doesn't account for your full family history and ties, so you may be English but have Welsh and Polish and German people in your family. I don't think it's wrong to want to honour some of these things, even if you are removed from it so to speak.

I don't have the money to visit Wales, my grandmother would speak of taking me there one day but it hasn't happened yet, but I'd love to visit the area she would have grown up in. I'm quite said she lost the language too, it would have been nice to have that connection if she'd kept it up.