To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

“ This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I hate all this cultural appropriation crap.“
I think you should read the thread. You’ll get that lovely warm glow you get when you find yourself amongst friends!

I think you should read the thread. You’ll get that lovely warm glow you get when you find yourself amongst friends!

You could start a little club. Or a not-so-little club...

It's hardly a burden when naming baby to think "is it a bit odd to take a name so evidently from a culture loads removed from mine?"

Put it this way, as a white British woman it never occurred to me to call my baby Fatima or Aniq, however much I think the names are beautiful because it would seem quite weird to me.

I can't help but think when people start choosing names culturally so far removed it's a bit like unique spellings etc where it's more about the parent's image. Yes, I know that's judgey but I can't help but think nobody naming their baby has no idea about the history and cultural background of the name. Some fit, others stand out like a sore thumb.

This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I hate all this cultural appropriation crap.

That seems to be the most popular opinion.
You are not special.

“ You could start a little club. Or a not-so-little club...”

Members could have a special badge. I was thinking something like this ❄️?

Bronwen means white chested (as in a white chested bird)
Bron- chest
Wen - derivative of white.

Both my kids have Welsh names. I'm not Welsh. They have a Spanish GM so have Spanish middle names. CA?

Calling your child Cariad does seem weird. A Welsh (but not Welsh speaking) friend called her daughter this.
I guess though it's similar to calling your child Blessing or Beloved? But counts as "made up"

What's the name?

Not sure why so much of this thread is taken up with talk of Welsh and Irish names.
There is so much cultural cross-over between England, Wales, Ireland and Scotland, it's a whole different thing to e.g. an African or Asian name.
The OP isn't coming back, but it seems unlikely it was a non-English British Isles name.

Rumpelstiltskin

Aren't all names a mixture and you choose what you think will be lovely for your baby and child.

I am amazed by the person, afraid off my radar of experience.

I had a lovely colleague whose daughter was called Lindiwe (pronounced Lindyway) which I understand is African in origin which I just love and if had a baby daughter would have considered though not knowingly African but havent had DNA.

Just thinking if you did a DNA ancestor test, you might find you have unexpected links to a certain area and so it might work out ok after the fact! You could then let this cat gently out of the bag!

It's a bit of an assumption to say that someone who sounds English is culturally appropriating a name if they eg call their daughter Orla or Mairead.

The only way you "know" they are English is by their accent. For all you know, they might have an Irish passport. Or at least have an Irish parent or grandparent.

Really people should mind their own business and worry about the things that actually affect them. What someone calls their child doesn't affect you at all.

And even if someone has used an Indian or African name, it's nobody else's business, they like the name. Nobody posting on here was beating up colonials, so stop blaming people for the sins of their (greatgrand)fathers.

Jillyhilly As a BAME person directly affected by 'hostile environment' policies and whose kids have had to endure racist bullying, saying my not liking when people take the piss out of non-English names is 'cultural authoritarianism' and 'shutting down free speech' is pretty galling.

In fact, you're shutting down my free speech with your ranting. Straight out of the Trumpist playbook - women, minorities and LGBTQ+ people are the most likely targets of online abuse, and this 'shutting down free speech' rant you engage in to try to shut me up is a typical response.

You say it makes you want to be offensive - maybe try to exercise a little self-control. Mocking other people's culture is unacceptable - I'd imagine 'the vast majority of normal sensible people in this country' would agree.

Ugh British Isles

Good grief what a load of rubbsh. If we did a study of all our names it would be tricky to make them all English as I dont think there is such a thing. We are all immigrants. Choose a name that you like and hang the detractors. They obviously dont have enough to feel aggrieved about

Choose a name that you like

or better choose a name that won't cause too much grief for your child, but there will always be one or 2 haters anyway, so don't worry about them.

Not sure why so much of this thread is taken up with talk of Welsh and Irish names.
There is so much cultural cross-over between England, Wales, Ireland and Scotland, it's a whole different thing to e.g. an African or Asian name.
The OP isn't coming back, but it seems unlikely it was a non-English British Isles name.

D'oh!

sorry, only half way through the thread, but I wanted to comment on the Chinese/Malay/Korean names where the people adopt an English name and wuold rather use that than have you learn their Korean etc name.

I work with a lot of Korean, and used to live in Indonesia.
There is a huge hidden language and cultural thing going on here that westerns rarely grasp.
In many east asian cultures names are always used with a prefix/suffix denoting status. So if I was addressing an office junior I would say younger-sister-steppemum not just steppemum.
If I was addressing my senior I would say older-sister-steppemum, or if more formal maybe teacher-steppmum or venerable-leader-steppemum.

If you come form a culture where that is an essential part of your name, then it is really uncomfortable to be called just steppemum. It is particularly difficult if it is a child or young person, who should use a prefix denoting respect.

One of my Korean friends told me, when it is his Korean name, he feels offended, even though he knows that is not the intention of the speaker. So he is MUCH happier using an alternative name, which he doesn't mind being used as a single word without a prefix. Interestingly though he chose another Korean word, one which is easy to say, rather than a 'Western' name.

After that, I stopped trying to learn an use peoples' own name, and accepted and used their alternative names for a western context.

It is easy if you speak the language, you just use the correct title!

So. No problem with calling a child in the U.K. with absolutely no Islamic heritage Muhammad then?

Bertrand tbh as a Muslim I wouldn't see a problem with it but I know some might. It's a beautiful name with a lovely meaning. Why not? In our religion the name just has to have a good meaning and Prophet SAw's companions only had to change their names if they had a bad meaning ..like 'bad omen' or 'famine'. Yes people used to name their kids like that. There is no such thing as an Islamic name.

. No problem with calling a child in the U.K. with absolutely no Islamic heritage Muhammad then

Offense aside, that's a way to land your kid with getting shit from idiots

On the theme of names from other cultures my partner has a simple 4 letter name that no one can pronounce properly except for northern Irish people (the names not irish but it suits the accent) and over time her name morphed into what people call her day to day. She introduces herself to English people with long vowels and to people from her culture with short vowels. Most people, myself included, call her the "wrong " name

Is this another thread where the OP doesn't return ever again and I waste time scrolling through hundreds of posts or have I missed an update??

What do people think of workers in Indian call centres adopting Western names? I had a chat with Steven this morning who I highly suspect is not really Steven.

easyandy101 I’m now wreaking my brain trying work out the name.

@Invisimamma

It depends on the name as well I guess...e.g. Mohammad for a non-muslim would be an odd choice.

It just means 'praised' in Arabic. Lots of names have Arabic origins, like Leila.

steppemum, that's really interesting. I had no idea, so thank you for that.

iknowimallmine, that's interesting too, considering some on here seem horrified at the idea of giving a white child a 'Muslim' name.