To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

And @motherogod how do you know what race I am and what my name is either ? You’re making massive assumptions and need to get a grip of yourself before your head explodes with your right on-ness. Honestly how do some people cope day to day.

@taketotheskye Aren't Idris, Rihanna, Amaya welsh names? That well known muslim culture...

Nope. Rhian and Rhiannon are Welsh names, Rihanna is not.

@deydododatdodontdeydo

It’s Dafydd, not Daffydd.

Footiefan2019 I just called you out for joking about the names of someone from a different culture than you and not bothering to get their names right, and said it's racist to assert that people are wrong to call their children names connected with their own culture in order to pander to the people around them. My children have names that are traditional to our culture (and our family).
For anyone who thinks it's ok to call your kids names from a culture that might have been oppressed by yours - so much colonialism (particularly British) involved imposing the coloniser's culture and language and attempting to erase local culture (eg in Ireland) so I think we do have to be sensitive about where names come from and our position in relation to that.

Was I joking ? No I was referring to an interesting thread which also discussed this? You sound like a massive victim and someone who’s determined to have been ‘wronged’ by society. You haven’t answered my question upthread about what do you do when families have mixed origin either. Is my Irish nana allowed to tell my non Irish mum that she would love me to be called Aoife? What’s my mum supposed to say ‘no, my ancestors might once have said something bad about the Irish so that’s cultural appropriation’. Or is it ok because there’s a shred of dna there? What about people that claim to be one-32th Navajo or something, I think that’s stupid and denigrating to actual Navajo people but You could say they are ‘entitled’ to

I’m 1-16th Spanish. I’m not going to call my son Alejandro. But where do we draw the line ? It’s ok that Cariad Lloyd is called that because her grandads welsh ? She might never have even been to Wales.

names were something like Boglarka and Zoltar or something like that which just totally didn’t work in small town England.

'something like that' - didn't bother getting the names right
'totally don't work in small town England' - says who? Only people who think cultures should homogenise to 'fit in'

I wonder where little boggy is now? - is that not joking/an attempt to be funny?

I didn't make any assumptions about your ethnicity. Just said you and everyone should respect other cultures, including names. As for 'victim' and 'wronged by society' I didn't make any assertions about myself at all but I'd counsel being sensitive and not make such throwaway remarks - for example consider BAME people living in Britain and witnessing what has happened even recently to the Windrush generation and the 'hostile environment' that saw almost 100 people wrongly deported from Britain and that I have personal experience of. Would you say that they're 'determined to be wronged by society'? Or what?

Whatever, HowLovely
Either you are prepared to hear how it might be from the other side or you aren’t.

No one is saying it was done out of ill intent. It obviously wasn’t.

But the (natural / understandable ) reaction in children then perceiving the name to be exotic is wearing to people who use the name as part of their culture and are other ex or alienated for it.

Listen, or don’t.

I have a name that, as far as I know, is only broadly used in my 'culture', if that is the correct word for it. When I meet people from other cultures, it is often commented upon. I do not find this annoying or wearing at all, in fact I feel rather proud of it. I don't know why you're specifically picking my comments out as this is a thread about cultural appropriation and you're saying that other people, probably referring to Brits, commenting on the 'exotic' nature of a name from a different culture because they haven't heard it before or find it interesting, is somehow annoying or belittling that person (whose name is perhaps the equivalent of Jane in their own culture). I'm saying that I have had a little experience of this and I don't feel this way at all, which is equally as valid as the people you are talking about.

Spanish family.

One kid English name
One kid German name
One kid American name

Absolutely fuck all to do with anyone else why we chose those names and someone bitching about my kids would get back right up

So many footballers are heroes to their fans. You sometimes see boys named after members of a winning team. In the 1950s they would have been called Stanley or Alan. Nowadays? African, French, Spanish, etc. Is this cultural appropriation? Do you think the footballers are offended? Doubtless others would be offended on their behalf!

This is coming across as only white British people are capable of being culturally insensitive.

That's just because the majority of MN posters live in a predominantly white country.

I've often wondered if there's a Chinese or Indian version of MN where posters are getting into the same arguments from the other side. Like a 20 page thread on whether it's cultural appropriation to call your child 'Isla' when you're from the Jiangsu province.

Buccanarab

Cultural appropriation or not, it’s just cringe giving your child a name from a culture or language that it’s not related to.

But how far are you going to take that?

Following that line of thought to it's natural conclusion everyone has a specific culture, dictated by their DNA, and they must not step outside that culture. An English person can be assumed to come from a long line of anglo-saxons and must be named something like Aethelbald, unless they can prove Welsh/Scottish/Irish or Norman ancestry in which case they can have special dispensation to call their child Hywel or Henri.

No Biblical names may be used without proof of worship, and local variations - Dafydd, Peter, Mary - may not be used. One approved version of every name will be accepted.

@Howlovely the UK is definitely not a tiny island.

It consists of one Island of Great Britain and the country of Northern Ireland which is on a different island. Great Britain has a population of approximately 65 million people. That isn't tiny.

I've visited and lived on much smaller islands both in land mass and in population.

@Howlovely you are being picked out due to your comments.

You may not have experienced it but myself and quite a few of my friends who are from different ethnicities have been had our names called "exotic" by white British people. This is othering and essentially racist.

merrymouse please don't give anyone ideas.....there'll be a Cultural Appropriation Department set up immediately, with massive funding, before you know it!

This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I hate all this cultural appropriation crap. Why is it not OK for Kim Kardashian to braid her hair, but fine for Beyonce to straighten hers, for example? I just don't get it

So do we know what the OP's daughter is called yet?

You may not have experienced it but myself and quite a few of my friends who are from different ethnicities have been had our names called "exotic" by white British people. This is othering and essentially racist.

I have never heard a negative connotation to the word 'exotic'. I am absolutely not an ignorant bigot but I fail to see how somebody encountering a name they have not heard before and thinking it was 'exotic' (which means originating from a distant foreign country) is in any way racist.

I'd counsel being sensitive and not make such throwaway remarks sensitive and not make such throwaway remarks

And why should anyone else care what you “counsel”? To be honest people with this kind of woke, humourless outlook make me want to go out of my way to be as offensive and “culturally appropriating” as possible.

Your attitude creates much more division and awareness of difference - and not in a good way. You think you’re being ultra-tolerant but actually everything you say comes straight from the modern left playbook of shutting down free speech, accusing everyone of racism and finding offense in everything. It’s a kind of cultural authoritarianism and you’ve swallowed it hook, line and sinker.

The Windrush scandal has nothing to do with this. Those people were treated horrendously. That is nothing to do with this divisive, made-up gibberish.

I’d also suggest that a genuinely oppressed people would have considerably more to worry about than whether or not another culture is “appropriating” their kids’ names.

I just don’t get it

That’s because there is literally nothing to get, and you like the vast majority of sensible normal people in this country instinctively see that this is all smoke and mirrors.

Interesting that there are no Irish Erins in Ireland, i think of it as an Irish 2nd or 3rd generation name

I know 1 Irish Erin but her mother is English (her dad is Irish) so maybe that makes a difference :p

I was about to say the same, howlovely, it used to have interesting/luxury connotations.

Plurabelle, I think that's a bit offensive. Why do you assume people would call their child Shulamit without any knowledge of what it means just because they'd 'encountered the name on holiday'? I'm not even sure what that means or if it's possible; let's say they did hear the name on holiday: surely it's more likely that they'd think 'what a lovely name' and then look up/ask what it meant, and then, liking the meaning, decide to use it for their child.

jillyhilly 100% agree.

The idea of 'white british culture' is a little odd to me - as well as holding people accountable for the actions of people who lived in the same country as them over 200 years ago (who may or may not be related, given that that's a fair few generations for their ancestors to have immigrated to the UK's landmass!)

I agree that it could be seen as odd, and I do see that cultural appropriation can be a thing, however, having lived a fair few places, I've found that the people in these places rarely care, it's the second generationers living in the UK (or the US, or wherever) that care much more - perhaps a reaction to figuring out who they are and where they feel they belong?

Yet another burden for the modern British parent choosing a name. Months finding a name both parents can agree on...careful it doesn't make an unfortunate acronym...not too trendy, not too antiquated...will people be able to spell it...

An alarming number of posts on this thread essentially say 'I know nothing about CA and don't get it, but am absolutely determined that whatever it is comes from the school of PC Gone Mad, which means I don't have to give it any thought whatsoever and can pride myself for not doing so and on my common sense, hurray!'