To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

I have appropriated the name of Titus Oates and I am sorry to the old bugger and any of his descendants.

However, I once had a very good friend who lived next door to a Mr and Mrs Oates-we nicknamed them Titus-so I hope I can claim a link. It would be horribly insensitive of me to just nick his name without any connection!

My next user name might be Valhund, even though I'm not Swedish nor a dog. Woof woof...that's Swedish for Mea Culpa.

white female = white british female

Most of the Anglo-Irish ascendancy of the Duke of Wellington’s era identified culturally with England, educated their children at English schools and presented their daughters at Court. And were highly unlikely to call the kids Diarmuid and Fionnuala

They did this because of intense anti Irish sentiment. Because you would never be treated as an equal if you were Irish and had an accent! It wasn't a case of identifying as English through choice!

I obviously don't experience racism and microagressions daily, so this is colouring my experience. But I have no desire to stop other people enjoying things from my cultural background (northern white female) (Pumpkin spiced latte, anyone?), but would draw the line at people being grossly offensive, wearing a flat cap to indicate someone was stupid etc.*

I tried to explain the difference further up the thread as I understand. If you were to go to a job interview in a flat cap and be told you couldn't get the job, despite being well qualified because you are wearing the hat. Then a while later a celebrity starts wearing it and someone else goes for the same job you went for wearing it and gets the job because flat caps are now cool. How would you feel? But what if it was something deeply significant to you, or something you couldn't easily change or natural to you eg your hair.... Something much more than a cap.

@kirsty75005
That's interesting, as where I live it's considered a bit 'chavvy' to use a French name like 'Monique' or 'Chantelle'.

@taketotheskye
I remember reading an entire thread disputing origins of the name Rihanna. Rayyan and Rayhana are Arabic, and Rihanna could be a derivative of those names or of the Welsh Rhiannon. Amaya seems to have several origins. Idris is both Arabic and Welsh, but from apparently unrelated orgins.

@plurabelle
I completely agree. For me, the meaning of a name is as important as the sound of it, and it is irritating when people give their children names they can't pronounce correctly and of which they have no idea of the significance.

But at the end of the day, their child, their choice. I can't get irate about it.

@dreichwinter

"I am nobody's hun, thank goodness" now that, I can well believe! :)

Seriously, babe, I think most Irish people-certainly those in the Free State- would find it difficult to think of all those English people in their Irish castles-as Irish.

I have to hand it to you though, you certainly know how to put an arse on a dog and you've made us all laugh here on what has been a pretty miserable day, so thank you!

@prawnsword
Yes - strange that - fleeing one country to escape persecution only to commence persecution of others .

They did this because of intense anti Irish sentiment. Because you would never be treated as an equal if you were Irish and had an accent! It wasn't a case of identifying as English through choice!

Yes, I 'm sure they didnt want to identify into all that privilege, they simply had no choice

YANBU OP, she sounds like a total twat.

The Duke of Wellington et al only sent their children to English schools and the rest of it because the Irish community wouldn't accept them!

Well, every day is a school day @doadeer!

Maybe they would have been accepted if they hadn't banned the wearing of green, speaking Irish, setting fire to houses and being generally a bit anti social to their neighbours!

Did this happen in the uk?

There are also names which sound similar but have entirely different etymologies or arose from the same root -

Rihanna and Rhianna, for example. Or Reanna. Or Hannah, etc..

Or Shulamit and Shula. Or Sheila. Or Sheelagh...blah blah blah.

Chances are that the name you're using has multiple origins.

Aren't Idris, Rihanna, Amaya welsh names?

Idris - yes, but also an Arabic name
Rihanna - no.
Amaya - unpronounceable in Welsh.

So you are choosing a name that you think is beautiful for the most precious person in your life and this is somehow wrong ??????
The worlds gone fucking mad

I’m in complete agreement with this statement.

I guess that's why the Anglo -Indians sent their children back to England etc....those pesky Indians just wouldn't accept them.

The poor, poor persecuted people. I'm filling up here!

What a rotten time they had in England and India.

Thanks for Colonial-plaining!

And while the individual action may seem trivial, when it's happening a lot throughout society, it really isn't.

Can any supporter of the cultural appropriation theory explain this? What harm does it do?

I don't think you appropriated anything. xxxx

Pangalactic whenever I see bertrand being predictably sanctimonious I go and put the kettle on

Bertrand is a genius. One or two sniper-like posts and there will be a completely different argument going on.

I wonder whether it works the other way? Bertrand can you derail this thread so everyone starts discussing mother in laws or parking?

IamWaggingBrenda

You clearly did not culturally appropriate enough asterisks.

Is it Balonz? Please let it be Balonz...

Why is it OK for a chinese person to give themself an 'English' name?

well, actually, sometimes it isn't.

It could be that they see it as a smoothing-over courtesy, given that those who do this are generally choosing to work in a first-world, 'white' society.

Two things come to mind.

I was working in Australia many moons ago. Due to a HCP shortage, a few people were taken on who took far longer to ease out of post that to put in, shall we say.

A HK Chinese person arrived, and given the multicultural reality of most workplaces, everyone made her welcome. But it all got rather strained when it came to her name, written (by her ) Ah Hong. So we all said Ah Hong. But we weren't ready for the fury as 'Ah Hong' is a boy's name, hers was pronounced A(i)h Hong, a bit like the Scottish 'Aye'. Just tell us, don't go to HR!!

She did actually remain and become a solid member of the crew....

Then along came let's say Annabel. Chinese young woman. My given name is, let's say Annabel, but everyone calls me Anna. For 8 years by then. She walked straight up to me, week one, and told me that it would be less confusing if everyone called her Anna, and me Annabel.

Er no. You've chosen that English name. Your actual name is Chinese- that you think us whiteys couldn't possibly pronounce.

My name is Annabel! First dibs on Anna!

Rhianna is a made up name and the only one I've heard of is the daughter of Terry Pratchett.

Rhian is a common Welsh name + Anna.

You could welshify Amaya by spelling it Amaia, I suppose.

I just think it's a bit odd to use a name from another culture, and they often are dated in the original country.

So upset OP has abandoned us.

Am imagining a blonde woman somewhere in deepest middle England tucking little Kwame Machupa into bed.

Arrgh I've just scrolled through 12 pages and no update. Come back OP!

Maybe the OP has what they want. Hard to tell with new posters - perhaps they thought it this was Quora.

It does seem strange to deliberately do something you don’t have to do that might upset someone else.

In the vast majority of cases I doubt it's done deliberately knowing it may upset someone else. Wouldn't it be nice if people would give others the benefit of the doubt? Obviously in this case, the OP has not thought to hell if this upsets anyone when she named her child, or this post wouldn't exist.