To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

It does seem strange to deliberately do something you don’t have to do that might upset someone else.

Generally speaking, that doesn’t leave one a great deal of room in which to operate in life. At least if you want to keep it interesting.

Still no name

My dds name is Arabic and it’s something I considered when naming her if it would be odd since we are not but we are mixed race so probably wouldn’t raise any eyebrows let alone get any comments.

@ChaiNashta

Idris is certainly a WELSH name. I thought the other two were as well.

cultural appropriation doesn't exist. There is no such thing. Stupid/entitled people use it. Ignore her.

Nearly 300 excitable posts about ucultural appropriation, I've run out of popcorn and the OP hasn't returned.

Perhaps they are easily satisfied with the answers so far.

“ Is it just me who thinks those arguing that OP is wrong to use a foreign name have got a theme:”

Yep- just you!

@poowillybumbum, my sister would sympathise. Like you, she looked white British with the 'foreign' name, whereas I, often, get asked where I'm from due to my (dark) looks regardless of accent!

I feel ya!

So they change their names rather than you learn to pronounce theirs. Right......!

How predictably sanctimonious. Nobody forced them to change their names, upon starting work at the company they insisted on being addressed as their adopted name. Among the Malay middle classes it is extremely common to take on a 'western' name', its often seen as a status symbol. I work with Nigerians, Kazakhs, Senegalese, Polish and Azerbaijanis (oil industry), none of these nationalities adopt Western names so they are addressed as their birth names. Some are easy to pronounce, others take a bit of practice, it's all part of the fun of working in a multicultural office. As alluded to up thread I did find the Malaysian names quite tricky to get my head around, much to their amusement, but even when I did get it right they still insisted on being called by their adopted name. Its got fuck all to do with people not bothering to learn.

@taketotheskye
@ChaiNashta

Have a google-you're both right!!!

Checked and Rihanna is welsh, whereas Amaya is Basque. So not so muslim.

Is there a name for wanting to give your child a name that they do have a cultural link to but deciding not to do so because it would be ridiculous, given their appearance/where you live?

As a (vaguely) anonymised example, I have a close relative called Ahmed. I could entirely reasonably call my son after this relative. Only I won't, because my son is pale and fair-haired and lives in England; he would inevitably end up with a life of people saying "So you're Ahmed then" and waiting for an explanation of his name (most from adults tbf). Frown if you like but it's true! I decided not to put him through that, so he's got a generic 'English' name which no-one queries instead

@Lifeisabeach09

Fascinating.

I was surprised as I know very not muslim people with those names, especially Idris!

@ContessaLovesTheSunshine I don't know, but I think it's similar to me changing from the planned, family traditional, name meaning 'dark' when my fair child popped out. Calling a fair child 'dark' would have been plain daft.

But I've known very tall Pauls, so I suppose some parents like to rebel.

So they change their names rather than you learn to pronounce theirs. Right......!

It's really common for SE Asians to adopt Western names. I taught 2 months in China years ago--all the Chinese I worked with (teachers and students) had Western names. I assume partly for ease of pronunciation and because they liked them. Don't know if it was a direct translation of their Chinese names.
I've encountered the same in Thailand.

Was the mother who accused you from that country? Was she wearing western style clothes? What's good for the goose.

Seems a trifle unfair that one should always be judged by the actions of distant ancestors who did things we certainly would not now approve of. But then again, the argument is that without the actions of our ancestors we wouldn't be in the favourable position we are now in, so, yes, I can see why white people are much more likely to be guilty of cultural appropriation. But what happens when ( as seems increasingly likely) our (UK) fortunes decline and we become a country of little power or standing - would calling our children a Chinese or Indian name, for example, still be CA?

Arrgh I've just scrolled through 12 pages and no update. Come back OP!

Pangalactic whenever I see bertrand being predictably sanctimonious I go and put the kettle on

My parents are obviously guilty of this then, my names are from countries 12 thousand miles away from where I was born. Ooops. Ignore her OP, they are talking rubbish.

I’m not sure why @TitusOatesLivesNextDoor is getting such a kicking. Most of the Anglo-Irish ascendancy of the Duke of Wellington’s era identified culturally with England, educated their children at English schools and presented their daughters at Court. And were highly unlikely to call the kids Diarmuid and Fionnuala.

Idris = Arabic name for Prophet Enoch
I once taught a boy whose father was Pakistani and mother Welsh. They had opted for Idris for him because it was a name in both their cultures (albeit pronounced differently). He was generally known by the Welsh pronunciation in school, not sure about at home.

@MereDintofPandiculation it’s not just distant ancestors though is it? Racial oppression still happens.

W.r.t. your question, that depends. If China comes and takes our land, subjugates the British people and white British start to find it hard to get jobs because they are seen as second class citizens then yes I think it would be poor taste for the new ruling people to call their kid Elizabeth. Much like I’d feel uncomfortable moving to
NZ and giving my kid a Maori name.

Not sure what’s difficult to understand.

You have cheered me up with your po faced silliness, @dreichwinter*.
Thank you, hun!*

I am nobody's hun, thank goodness.

I don't think it's okay to say that to be Irish you cannot have an English ethnic background or belong to be Protestant faith.

I can't imagine you think all Irish people can only have one ethnic background and faith?
Is that really what you meant to say, to put it in a Mumsnet way.

Why is it OK for a chinese person to give themself an 'English' name (when China has a chequered history of invading other countries, large superpower etc) but it's not OK for an English person to name their child a Brazilian name?

A white person wearing a native American headress to a festival is clearly offensive, as the headress is a spiritual item intended to give meaning. It's the same as using a hijab/cross insensitively.

But cultures will inevitably blend together when they are mixed - look at English history/the english language. I think the drawing of arbitrary lines around certain cultures and not others is ridiculous. It also encourages the idea of white western culture as the 'default', e.g. wearing jeans is what everyone does so it can't be cultural appropriation if a person from Pakistan does it.

Cultural identity is complex. I am more entitled to listen to grime music than a black American because I'm a white female? Are they more entitled? Who is more 'deserving'?

I obviously don't experience racism and microagressions daily, so this is colouring my experience. But I have no desire to stop other people enjoying things from my cultural background (northern white female) (Pumpkin spiced latte, anyone?), but would draw the line at people being grossly offensive, wearing a flat cap to indicate someone was stupid etc.