To not understand how this is cultural appropriation?

[NewUsername18382828]

Namechanged for this.
DH and I decided to give DD (who is now 6) a name which is originally from another country. Neither of us have relatives or any connection there, we just liked the name. There is an English variant of the name but we didn't like the sound of it as much so went with the one we liked most. Didn't think it would be a problem, a name is a name.

Well anyway, a mum of a girl in DD's class at school was born in that country. She heard me call DD at the gates and started talking to me about her name. She was asking what our ties were to the country, and so on. When I said there weren't any and we just liked the name, she muttered something about cultural appropriation and left with her child. Fast forward another couple of weeks and I've just been informed by another parent that she's been badmouthing us, saying we shouldn't use a foreign name when we have no ties to the country, it's cultural appropriation.

AIBU to have no clue how this is cultural appropriation? I always thought a name was just a name.

Historical figures like the duke of Wellington arent considered Irish though. Not by anyone in ireland anyway

I was responding to a post about Irish Protestants.

No I don’t know anyone who’d consider the DoW Irish, but I’ve no idea why we’re having this conversation frankly.

What is NAME??

So many kids nowadays have very unusual names..Would be so interesting to know what the name actually is!

Maybe it is a very unusual one, hence OP changing their name...?

Maybe it's also about where the OP lives?

You have cheered me up with your po faced silliness, @dreichwinter.
Thank you, hun!

I do love Deidre pronounced deer-dra. (Instead of Deer-dree.) Usually pronounced like this in the USA.

CRAIG is another one like that. Instead of CRAYG it is pronounced 'CREGG.'

It does seem strange to deliberately do something you don’t have to do that might upset someone else.

to be fair, nowadays absolutely anything you do will upset and offend someone, so you can usually safely ignore that - it will happen whatever you chose.

Snobbery about names can be just as offensive and harmful as cultural appropriation.

Cultural appropriation generally implies a lack of respect, but you gave your child a name that you love. It's difficult to understand how that is genuinely disrespectful unless she thinks your child isn't important to you.

It's not clear what she wants you to do - change your 6 year old child's name?

Do you think it would be OK for a child in the U.K. with absolutely no Muslim connections to be called Muhammad or Hadiyah, for example?

My father is an Arab Muslim. He would not be offended by this. It would seem normal to him as he'd place no bearing on the culture, nationality or religion of the child, if that makes sense.

What about all those Sophia's in America (#1 girl's name) and the UK (also in the top of popularity for names) who aren't of Italian or Greek descent. It's absurd to complain about what someone else calls their child.

Here in the USA, many of the African American children have made-up names (because of the history of lack of tradition)....should those be banned too? There are countries where you are only allowed to name your child off an accepted list (I think generally judeo-christian names...)

I was responding to a post about Irish Protestants.

I think that person was also speaking historically, quoting another poster who said that "Anglo irish prods" like the DoW and others were off in India subjugating people left right and centre, so therefore ireland is guilty of historical colonization and oppression

So if the English OP (we assume) were to say the name was Oluwakemi (God takes care of me), a Nigerian name, and Mojisola (I wake up to wealth), what would we think?

Just taking here a couple of names from friends from Nigeria

Sofia the reason many African Americans have made up names is because they wanted to remove themselves from the names of their ancestors abusers.

@taketotheskye

Aren't Idris, Rihanna, Amaya welsh names? That well known muslim culture

Idris = Arabic name for Prophet Enoch
Rihanna & Amaya = Arabic origin meaning is Fragrance & Night Rain respectively.

Plenty of muslims (and non-muslims) with those names.

Born there yes. Catholic though. I live in Dublin now.

I have come across Southern deer dras you, but perhaps not so many come to think of it.

Ha, maybe it's a Dublin thing then , they seem to pronounce Caoimhe differently aswell more like Keeva rather than Qwee-va

My name is Swedish. No ties to Sweden whatsoever (and I can trace my heritage back a looong way). There's also someone pretty famous with my name, also not Swedish. We/our parents have not committed cultural appropriation, that is ridiculous.

OP, if you don't want to give your child's actual name (and fair enough, it might well be too outing to do so) why not give another name from the same country - or at least incidate the name of the country in question.

Anyway, OP. Do what another poster suggested and shout your child's name out loud and clear everytime the silly woman is in earshot.

If you have a pet, give it a name from the same culture and shout that out loud and clear too.

Then she will know you don't give a shiny shit for her to wipe to her nostrils.

@Lifeisabeach09 mine is also an Arab Muslim and would find it weird. Not offensive, but weird. Then again he’s not that religious.

I’m half Irish and half Algerian with an Arabic name. I look and sound white/British. Really wish my parents had just called me Sarah to avoid me being quizzed my origins every other week for my entire damn life. My mums name is really really Irish. I don’t really feel like I have the “right” to either culture. Belonging is such an odd concept!

I have 14 British grandchildren. If I looked up their names, I know they would originate in countries all over the World. one of them is called Thomas. Sounds English, but is actually Aramaic. My Uncle is David. A Hebrew name. The woman is ridiculous. I suggest you look up her child's name, she might get a shock!

Realise my post above makes it seem like I’m denying CA is a thing. I’m not. I certainly wouldn’t call my child a name belonging to an oppressed culture I had no links with.

I’m just posting in the hope that the mysterious name is revealed!

@Lifeisabeach09

Tell that to Ms Gibbons, the class teacher in Khartoum, arrested for blasphemy for allowing her class to call the class Teddy bear 'Mohammed's'.

What's in a name indeed

Not RTFT

the woman may have a point if you have chosen a name from a race or culture that your own race or culture has oppressed.

If she chooses to be offended by you using the name then that's her opinion. Don't let her opinion tarnish what I'm sure is a beautiful name.
Look at it this way, if you moved to another country and met a child with a traditionally British name and found out the parents had no links, would you care? I assume no!

Is it just me who thinks those arguing that OP is wrong to use a foreign name have got a theme:

A white English person using a traditional Nigerian name....Definitely both odd and cultural appropriation.

If your DD is white British and she is called Shilpa or Tandeka then they have a point. If she’s call Sian or Morag then much less so.

As a white American of English and Celtic descent, borrowing French culture (similar power level, equal rivals) is different from borrowing Native American

white people are much more likely to be guilty of cultural appropriation.

My name is French, lots and lots of "English" names are, however calling your child a traditional Indian name would be odd if you are white British with no Indian ancestors.

I can't help but detect a slight sneering that you shouldn't name your child in a way which might be reminiscent of a 'lesser' skin colour- coated in excuses that they are just defending all the poor non-white people who can't cope with cultural mixing.