Help I need advise husband went to a strip pub

[Jk191]

I found out recently that my husband visited a strip pub a few years ago with some friends. It has really upset me. He said he was there 10 mins and left and said there were girls on stage but not stripping. I cannot help it but I am finding it hard to forget about it or belive him. Please any advise would be great

so basic sexual needs/desires of
Straight men make them stupid?

Is porn/strip clubs a basic sexual need? I must admit I would find any man watching porn/frequenting strip pubs not overly endowed in the brain cell department.

@Redheadwonder That's what I do! I've got a special 'no looking at other females' eye mask for him. And any attractive men that come on my screen, I take myself out of the room. Vom.
😉

I would be really annoyed if DP went to one and didn’t tell me the next day. He’s been to a couple in the past before we knew each other and I’ve told him I wouldn’t like him going to one again which he’s fine about (unless he’s a good liar).
Maybe he didn’t tell you at the time though as he knew you would be very angry and upset about it and was scared of your reaction.

I used to be a stripper, no one exploited me and I earned an absolute fortune. Granted their are some like that, but some people enjoy doing it and make a good living doing it at that

I cant remember 6 days ago let alone 6 years ago! Have you never been with the girls to dream boys or anything? Let it go.

@Redheadwonder he's got 4 stags this year but luckily his friends aren't scummy
If a stag do included a strip club, yes I would expect him not to go. If he chose to go, that's fine. I'd choose to leave.

My comment was that men will look at other women. Not sure what you're reading.

Regularly visiting strip clubs is completely different to going just once with the lads/ stag do.
Plus a massive majority of men and women watch porn because you know humans do like sex.
My husband watches it when we have fertility treatment, the fuck do I expect him to do? Wank at the wall.

@Ginandgingers92

I keep a hard cane next to the sofa for when I catch my husband looking at any other female body apart from mine. He gets a few bruises when Strictly is on that's for sure!

@Redheadwonder
"Wank at the wall"
Just spat my drink out. Brilliant! 😂

@GiveHerHellFromUs thanks for the insult. My husband and his family/friends are not scummy. Sorry I don’t control my husband and I can trust him enough to look at another woman without shitting myself that’s he’s gonna run off.
Like I said before a stag do with a strip club is completely different to a man going alone frequently.
My husband showed me the photos from the stag night it looked a right laugh. Glad I’m not a Boeing jealous jumped up cow.

@LolaLollypop 🤣

@Redheadwonder we clearly have very different boundaries which was my initial point.

For me it's not a case of trust, it's a case of respect.

It's completely fine for us to have completely opposing views and what I was saying to you was just because it doesn't upset you doesn't mean it can't upset OP.

Hahaha, god gracious, Redhead, no wonder you have zero self respect if trashy sleazebags are what you have in your life. Oh girl, I feel so sorry for you.

Of course it is @GiveHerHellFromUs but your saying my husband is scummy?. Your opinion bab.
My boundaries are no cheating but I’d never tell my husband where he can and cannot go. Or not to ever look at other women.

My opinion is for op that she should drop it, unless he goes on his own all the time or has an addiction to it, it’s really not as massive as she is making it out to be in her own mind.

@burnagirl 😂 ok 👌🏼

@Redheadwonder yeah my opinion is that anyone who goes to strip clubs for 'entertainment' is scummy. Which is exactly what I just said. Mine opinion, which is different to yours, bab.

I actually also said that OP should make her boundaries clear and drop it as it was so long ago.

What annoys me about comments on thread like this is that women who say they're not bothered are automatically accused of trying to be 'the cool wife', and therefore their opinions dont matter as much. What if you ACTUALLY dont care?

A massive majority of men are scum then I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️ Do you reckon your husband has never been to one? Or watched porn?
Never know he might be looking at another woman right now 👀👀.
@CAG12 exactly. I genuinely am not deluded into thinking my husband is not allowed, or it’s vile if he looks at another women ever in his life now he’s with me. I thought that was quite normal tbh.

OP, this would really bother me too. It is disrespectful and I would expect my DH to tell me that night/next morning. I have made my thoughts on strip clubs crystal clear to my DH and believe he wouldn’t go to one. I know he has actively avoided it on a stag night.

I think if you didn’t make your opinion clear, then you have to forget about it. If he went again however, then you have the right to be extremely disappointed.

You absolutely don't have to be OK with it, no matter what anyone else says. The only trouble is that you're probably never going to get the full truth. So you will need to accept it happened and make sure your husband knows that you're not OK with him going to strip clubs now. Other than that there's nothing else you can really do at this point.

Have you had issues with him lying in the past?

@CAG12 it's more the women who are saying "I'm not bothered, why are you? You must be uptight and jealous." They are the problem.

It's fine to have different opinions but there are some people on this thread who are belittling people whose opinions differ from their own. Everyone has their own boundaries and levels of comfort in a relationship ... It's a very personal thing.

Some absolutely nuts stuff here in amongst the overwhelmingly reasonable.

Why is it that if someone just happens to be “not ok” with something the other person must do as they are told or it’s a “dealbreaker”.

Insane.

My ex husband went on maybe 20 stag dos and most inc strippers or a strip club. I don’t like the concept but I was never upset or offended 🤷🏼‍♀️

My husband watches it when we have fertility treatment, the fuck do I expect him to do? Wank at the wall

Well "coz infertility" is seriously the most intriguing excuse for watching porn!

@Jk191 is this the pound strippers? Like strip pubs? If it's the strip pubs, they are really just a lot of fun (I literally love them). If it's a strip club, I understand you would be upset, I would too.