To be fed up with Christmas wife work?

[WhenYouCantRunYouCrawl]

DH is an intelligent man who spends only slightly less time with the children than me... And yet every Christmas it's the same. My family and his family all come to me for ideas on what to buy the children.

Already I've supplied his sister with a long list of ideas plus photos of the kids for a calendar that she's making for MIL. DH has access to all my pictures and also takes his own pictures, and yet she automatically came to me for them.

Just had a message from MIL asking for ideas. Apparently she will "get more sense" out of me. Which is frankly insulting to DH because he's a company director with a Phd for crying out loud, he would make perfect sense if she simply bothered to message him first.

And not a single person in my family would ever think to ask DH for ideas. They all come to me. So I have to do the thinking for everyone and it's driving me batty.

Tempted to respond to all of these requests with something along the lines of "well if you bothered to make an effort during the rest of the year to actually get to know the kids then maybe you'd be able to think of something yourself."

But I won't. I'll just carry on inwardly tutting instead and ranting on Mumsnet.

Gifts are definitely DH's department, his family would never ask me.

We sent out party invitations recently for DD's birthday. We included phone numbers for both DH and I and every single person messaged me and not DH, even though he does all nursery drop offs and picks ups and I've never met any of them. Odd.

I nipped this in the bud early when MIL asked me something similar, long ago, and I said no idea ask DH!

Can you have a joint whatsapp group? I have one with DH and MIL, and a separate one with DH and SIL, and any questions like that I always leave to DH to answer.

Oh come on. Do you genuinely believe that there is something in a man’s genetic make up that makes them bad at gift buying? Absolute rubbish. The presence of a penis does not make someone unable to think of something that someone may like as a gift.

Exactly. Sadly my vagina hasn't given me the magical powers of present buying that it should apparently confer. Fortunately for DH's family his penis hasn't precluded him from being rather good about it

Your friends and family want to buy gifts your kids like you are complaining? I only get asked by BIL. He doesn’t ask ex-h as he would say he would think about it and not get back to him. If BIL asks me, DS will get a gift he likes. My friend gives DS money. He does not get presents from anyone else apart from me and his Dad (who will shop last minute if he has money). All 4 grandparents are dead. I wish I had more people phoning me up offering to buy him stuff. Making a few suggestions is not ‘work’!

Having a parter with a good job and degree does not make them good at present buying. Maybe yours is great in which case get him to contact MiL/SiL if you must. Saying they should get to know the kids better is massively ungrateful! My ex is pretty good at buying last minute and under pressure but that would be no help to family members. He also has to see things so usually goes off with no clue what he is getting unless hints/suggestions have been made.

MN will be full of posts complaining about gifts after Christmas. Is it really that hard to reply to a request for ideas. That way no waste, they get something they want and everyone is happy. It’s hardly work

As for photos, just pass the request on if you believe your DH should do it.

I quite enjoy all the wife work that goes with Christmas am I the only one?

I imagine in a population of 7 billion people you’re not the only one User342109097569098 .
I hate it though.