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AIBU?

Neighbour complaining about our garden lights

357 replies

Slave2love · 25/11/2019 11:09

Very petty and silly subject I know but here goes.
We have a small hedge on the edge of our front lawn to separate our garden from the neighbour's driveway. (Only recently planted, very small at this stage) further in on our lawn we have put a few small solar lights. Next doors drive is only just wide enough to squeeze 2 cars side by side and there is very little room to open doors etc. Until we put the hedge and lights in they were opening their car door fully over our garden in order to get out (also stepping on our land at times). Now I appreciate that we have made it awkward for them to open the doors fully now but surely they are not entitled to use our garden in order to get out of their car? They are new to the street but we knew of them previously and children are actually in the same class at school. Neighbour has asked this morning if we can move the solar lights. All has been pleasant with them up until now despite them being quite selfish neighbours. I could understand if the lights were on the boundary line but they are much further in. I feel it is them who have created the problem by parking 2 cars on a drive only really suitable for one. AIBU to not want to move the lights?

OP posts:
GiftedFish · 26/11/2019 20:20

I'm curious to know what this neighbour actually said her reason for requested the move of the solar lights?
If its something like "it shines in my house", I would say "no problem, I'll sort that" and I'd put a 5ft fence up.

mummmy2017 · 26/11/2019 20:22

I would just smile.
If she asks again, I would just say that you just want to define be your lawn, and maybe she needs to park over a bit, so she is on her own drive.

Laughterisbest · 26/11/2019 20:27

Petty, petty thing to do.

Clearly you hate them and have done this out of revenge. That’s unpleasant.

What? Do you mean the OP?
If so, have you actually read the thread? I can't believe anyone would take the side of the neighbours having read what they've been like as neighbours.

HuggedTrees · 26/11/2019 20:28

Don’t move the hedging! You can lay it so it’s 1mm from the border and that’s fine! Of course you can build a fence if covenant allows or build a rockery to stop them trampling your land, there is no right if way for them!

ronT · 26/11/2019 20:36

If the problem is that they don't have a wide enough drive to accommodate their two cars without having to step ont your garden to get out, then the onus is on them to widen their drive. If the lights are well onto your land, they can't reasonably complain that they are an obstruction.
However, sometimes harmony is more important than strict adherance to specific rights. Perhaps, if it's not actually inconvenient to move the lights further in to enable them to open their car door, it might be worth doing that on a temporary basis on the understanding that they widen their drive so that they can park and access their cars without infringing on your garden. Agree on a time scale in which they can complete any landscaping required, after which you would put the lights back where they were. That would be meeting them half way. It's by no means an obligation on your part but it shows reasonable cooperation.

Size5s · 26/11/2019 20:42

It's your land, do what you want with it. Hedges, fences, lights, gnomes, rockeries. And don't forget with Xmas coming up a delightful display is always admired Grin

supercee · 26/11/2019 20:53

It's your land, do what you want with it. Hedges, fences, lights, gnomes, rockeries. And don't forget with Xmas coming up a delightful display is always admired

GrinYes! Do this! A festive wonderland to compliment the solar lights.

NearlyOutedMyself · 26/11/2019 20:54

Dig a moat on the edge of your boundary and put the lights in it. It woukd look really pretty.

Ok, maybe not.

Raindancer411 · 26/11/2019 21:13

For those asking if the OP would be liable if the CFs hurt themselves on her land, yes she could be if they tried to take it to court.

I did a law course and it's one of the lessons that stuck in my head that if a burglar feel down a hole on your land (as an example, doesn't have to be a hole), he can sue the landowners AngryShock

Raindancer411 · 26/11/2019 21:13

Fell, silly fone changed it to feel 🧐

TheSerenDipitY · 26/11/2019 21:44

i insist you buy more lights and line them up right along that side of your garden, really make the point that it is your land, if she says something about them offer to have a 6ft fence built there instead, if she blusters that she cant get out of her car, say get a smaller car, remove your rockery, not my problem etc, have a set list of answers ready ... it is your garden and they are looking to make use of it, leaving you with the mess to clean up and if they are hurt using it maybe legal hassles as well, stand firm

Clutterbugsmum · 26/11/2019 21:45

The only problem you have OP is entitled neighbours. They have know rights over your property, the fact they have a front garden that isn't suitable for what they want then they have to make changes on their own property not their neighbours.

If it was me I would build a low fence then grow a rambling rose like rambling rector rose along it. And yes I know it thorny but they flower for a long period and they have bright red hicks in the winter.

Clutterbugsmum · 26/11/2019 21:47

Or you could build one of these in your front garden.

GlamGiraffe · 26/11/2019 22:21

Why dont you plant small laurel £££ or privet £ and just keep it really neatly trimmed with clippers. The buxus/box is a slow growing ornamental shrub which is small and very prone to moths. It will be decimated if you dont spray it often.
It's your boundary you can plant a hedge with lights, it matches your grass design. Go for it.
Their council permission will state if their drive is for one or two cars if they kick up a fuss.
What do they do on the other side of their drive?

Nonnymum · 26/11/2019 22:27

Petty, petty thing to do.
Whg is it petty? The OP. Just wants to enjoy her own garden. The NDN was stepping on and probably ruining the grass. It is was a drive I would agree. But its her garden.

Catiinthehat · 26/11/2019 22:45

Oh my goodness, are you our neighbours?! They complain about every single little thing. Such as parking our car on the top of our own driveway bothers them even though it’s not crossing any boundaries! YABU.

Supercal12 · 27/11/2019 00:22

I had a similar problem. I live next to Dungeness lighthouse on the coast of Kent and they complained that my solar lights ( 2.99 from Homebase) were a danger to fuckin shipping. Not only that, but I couldn't open the doors of the Hyundai when I came home from the pub

Bl3ss3dm0m · 27/11/2019 00:57

Sorry, I haven't read all of the posts, so the issue might already have been sorted, but I wanted to just say something from a practical point of view. We moved into a rented, detached bungalow with a single driveway, about a year ago; the driveway has next door neighbour's garden almost right next to it on one side (which is fine, it is fair, and we saw it when we viewed the property), which just gives my husband room to get out of the car on his drivers side (I am disabled, and medication means I can no longer drive), but it does mean that I have to step out onto the lawn (of our rented bungalow, so we can't put down paving to protect the grass). This has resulted in bald and muddy patches on the edge of the lawn, from almost daily use of the car. Maybe the OP is worried about a similar thing happening to her lawn, which I think is a reasonable thing to be worried about, and not at all pretty. Having said that, maybe a friendly chat over a cup of coffee, or a glass of wine, with the OP's neighbour, explaining the genuine concern that OP has, might be better to try at first, before falling out over this; especially as each family have children in the same class. Good luck anyway.

JoannaObrien · 27/11/2019 05:20

I forgot to switch off my blow up snowman last night and I wonder if the neighbours could hear it because it does make a humming noise

BlackCatSleeping · 27/11/2019 05:44

This thread is a bit bonkers.

OP, if I were you, I'd install a little picket fence (about a foot high) to keep the kids out of your garden. Who cares if it pisses them off. They don't mind annoying you.

I'd also check if their decking is legal. It seems unlikely.

wrcm · 27/11/2019 07:58

What a cheek. Don't you dare change your lovely garden for their selfishness and for everyone saying she should, why? It's her garden? If she wants it that way without her grass and hedge/plants getting trampled on and damaged then that's her prerogative Hmm

DeaflySilence · 27/11/2019 08:43

"We are on pleasant terms with them although we arent pally neighbours and i know if we leave the lights where they are it will all become awkward and uncomfortable. It's just a bit annoying."

It does sound as if it could become become awkward and uncomfortable IF you don't give in to them, @Slave2love , but if you DO give in to them on this issue, then there will be another potentially awkward and uncomfortable issue soon after.

Be honest (and a little tongue in cheek). Tell her you are sorry your solar lights bother her, and if it is the light from them that is bothering her (you already know it's not) you will change them for something else, but you do need to have something to prevent encroachment from their drive over your garden!

Then leave the ball firmly in her court!

VeeJayBee · 27/11/2019 08:58

I don’t think you’re being petty at all. I think neighbours should go out of their way to not impact each other and they have no right to tell you what to do with your land. Their problem if their driveway isn’t big enough for two cars. I think if it was just this one thing then you maybe could learn to live with it but they sound like they’re really taking the piss with everything else and making your life difficult - especially the loud horn tooting and kids screaming about in the garden late at night and calling by at unsociable hours to collect parcels you didn’t agree to take! It would drive me mad. They sound extremely inconsiderate. It’s a tricky balance because you don’t want to get into a war which makes things worse. But why should you put up with their inconsiderate behaviour? They’re definitely in the wrong! Make every effort to be kind, reasonable, thoughtful and nice towards them but stand your ground with the things that are important to you otherwise I’m afraid they’ll keep trying to walk all over you!!

bizybee · 27/11/2019 09:17

Have you double checked they could extend their drive so far over. It seems awfully close to your gate. Remember they extended their drive already so If it was in its original position your hedge wouldn’t have been an issue. I think that hedge will take years to do anything so agree with your idea of the lights. They give a nice boundary. Maybe they will have to get a smaller vehicle to fit size of driveway. A picket fence would still require you to paint it both sides too. I also think you have been generous putting the lights there rather than in between the hedging as that’s where i would have

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 27/11/2019 10:36

If they cannot open all car doors fully, the drive is not wide enough for 2 cars. I can line 4 cars along my drive but you wouldn't be able to get out of the middle 2 cars, because its not a drive for 4 cars.

Your neighbour will have to suck it up.

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