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AIBU?

Neighbour complaining about our garden lights

357 replies

Slave2love · 25/11/2019 11:09

Very petty and silly subject I know but here goes.
We have a small hedge on the edge of our front lawn to separate our garden from the neighbour's driveway. (Only recently planted, very small at this stage) further in on our lawn we have put a few small solar lights. Next doors drive is only just wide enough to squeeze 2 cars side by side and there is very little room to open doors etc. Until we put the hedge and lights in they were opening their car door fully over our garden in order to get out (also stepping on our land at times). Now I appreciate that we have made it awkward for them to open the doors fully now but surely they are not entitled to use our garden in order to get out of their car? They are new to the street but we knew of them previously and children are actually in the same class at school. Neighbour has asked this morning if we can move the solar lights. All has been pleasant with them up until now despite them being quite selfish neighbours. I could understand if the lights were on the boundary line but they are much further in. I feel it is them who have created the problem by parking 2 cars on a drive only really suitable for one. AIBU to not want to move the lights?

OP posts:
JemSynergy · 26/11/2019 17:55

I wouldn't move them, they are on your land. If you move them her requests for other things she doesn't like will start happening.

Sandytoesfrecklednose · 26/11/2019 17:56

I am another vote for a fence OP. The hedge plants aren’t going to stop them stepping on to your side. They might not like it but you sound like you want some privacy and space from them. Also how high is the fence that there decking reaches? That sounds awful and really encroaching on to your privacy again.

Tistheseason17 · 26/11/2019 18:00

OP, you don't want neighbours walking on your garden?
Well, I'm sorry but however way you do it you will annoy your neighbours but it's their problem to solve unless you offer to sell them a strip of your land.
No point in being passive aggressive with a dinky hedge that will die due to car doors bashing it.
Built a big wall or hedge. Then contact planning as their decking has breached the maximum permitted height from the description you gave given.
Goid luck.
You need to decide fight/ignore. If you ignore you can't complain about it.

BoomBoomsCousin · 26/11/2019 18:04

I don't think you need a fence. You just need to tell her that the lights are there to stop them using your garden as part of their drive. It sounds like you haven't mentioned that you don't want them doing this and instead are trying to hint at it with things that don't actually make your needs clear - things that, in fact, look like you are trying but to accommodate their use of your land.

Tell them why the lights are there. Fweakout's approach sounds sensible.

JoannaObrien · 26/11/2019 18:06

@Slave2love

What do your neighbour's think about Christmas lights? They would hate living next door to me I have just got a large bright snowman which plays jingle all the way.

TheCherries · 26/11/2019 18:08

Plant a Yew hedge at both the front and the back to solve the high decking issue. Yew grows quickly but is very happy to be regularly trimmed.

You will need to bring the planting of it in though as. Big hedge grows out as well as up so you need to allow 50cm growth from middle to edge

manicmij · 26/11/2019 18:09

What are neighbours going to do when your hedge grows.. that will certainly be a problem. As to the lights; check with them why they want them moved. Can't be due to car door issue as they seem to be behind the new hedging. If its light intruding into their rooms then move them. Why do you need solar lights in your front garden anyway, no street lights?

SaveKevin · 26/11/2019 18:12

Good work on the hedge, we need more hedges less fences.
And actually a hedge is more forgiving for opening car doors into than a physical hard fence.


The solar lights, seems an odd request given how far into your garden they are.

Jux · 26/11/2019 18:14

Don't give an inch.

If she continues to park in the road 'to e a oit' let her. In fact, encourage her - oh, it must be much easier parking in the road like that, sensible solution.

Figmentofmyimagination · 26/11/2019 18:16

Surely they need thinner cars - or to park one of them on the road. A low wall is clearly the answer here and quickly. Otherwise it will just annoy you every day.

PlumsGalore · 26/11/2019 18:19

Absolutely do not move the lights. No way is it acceptable to step out of their cars onto your grass.

Once the hedge grows they have no chance of getting in and out. They are new neighbours and you need to nip CF behaviour in the bud now or they will forever take the proverbial.

spidersonmyceiling · 26/11/2019 18:26

Did I remember that one thing that the neighbours do is let their children run over OP's garden? That's not on, unless OP says it is. I do have sympathy for OP as I have a shared drive. Not the same obviously but TBH my NDN has started leaving his van where it blocks me from coming down the drive to unload. 1 problem at a time though. They have more room than I have to the side of the house, and at one point I was finding my pots were getting smashed, not by doors opening, but by him reversing onto them, and not replacing them. I managed to solve the problem by puttng enough big block paving edges so that as he came down he would hit them if he was too close, they are not obtrusive, had he said anything I'd have said it was to stop my daughter banging the pots when she very occasionally brought her van down the drive, as she was upset when she though she'd broken my pots and she replaced them. Fortunately never had to say this [but my daughter would have been upset had she broken a pot, so it protected her too. He could park several inches over towards his side, it's not necessary to park so close to my house, but I can cope with how it is ATM. A previous next door neighbour parked on his raised parking area with the back half of the car hanging over my garden, that alone wouldn't have been a problem, but it was a diesel and he would start it up and let it chug foul fumes over my garden for absolutely ages, I put up a post and tied a plant to it, it helped a bit as the fumes were not quite so far over. He moved and new neighbours increased the size of the area so they can park with their exhaust pointing out into the street. A previously shared drive NDN before we moved in, put a rockery where our predecessors used to drive onto his land, and park on the bit of driveway next to the concrete bit that cars go on, next to his house. He did this while they were on holiday, and apparently, after they encountered the rockery just the once they never drove over it again. IT is now a problem with where the new NDN parks, but never was back then. Old NDN also, so he said ordered a load of farmyard manure delivered down to his bit of the drive just before our predecessors moved in, I guess it sent out a signal that that little bit of driveway was his and his alone. None of these things were illegal just what various people had to do to avoid arguments with NDNs

Toomuchtrouble4me · 26/11/2019 18:26

My neighbours across the road had some sort of spinning laser lights last Christmas -drove me mad! They farted all around my lounge, I had to ask them to move it.
Are your lights beaming into their home?
Do you really have an issue with them ‘stepping on to your land” seriously?
Sounds to me as though you are being a bit spiteful. YABU

StickyParkin · 26/11/2019 18:27

No way would I move those lights - they will trample on your little box hedge.

I think it is really unreasonable of them to ask you to do this.

I would put up a wire fence for the box hedge to grow against to keep them off your garden.

People suggesting building a wall - it is really expensive getting a wall built.

BrokenWing Diagram of the year! And your neighbours are outrageous, no way should they expect you to park in front of your front door because they can't fit within their own space and won't reverse in.

Rachel1874 · 26/11/2019 18:28

Stuff that, your garden don't move anything.

Bobalina68 · 26/11/2019 18:32

It's not worth falling out with your neighbours. I think it's a bit petty to get annoyed about them stepping on your garden - really!! Plus their car doors open on to your garden, I am sorry but some of us have real problems.

Slave2love · 26/11/2019 18:33

Toomuchreouble4me

We are not trying to be spiteful at all. The lights are on our land. It is not a light issue at all by the way folks its that she wants to be able to open her car door fully over my land. The hedge prevents them from treading on my grass yes but it's not been put there to be a nuisance to them. My lights have been there for months and as far as I'm concerned they are far enough on my property. So it makes me spiteful just because I dont want to move them for her?

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 26/11/2019 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PlumsGalore · 26/11/2019 18:40

OP, please don’t feel guilty, this isn’t about you being spiteful or petty, they seriously are piss takers. I loved the idea that @dontsweatthelittlestuff posted, this solution is cheap, can be laid easily and filled with cheap (Morrisons) plants and look lovely all year round if planted with the right plants.

Disclaimer, I don’t work for Morrisons but their plants are so cheap and are the only ones that thrive whatever in my garden.

SweetMarmalade · 26/11/2019 18:40

Stick a trampoline there instead!

WaxOnFeckOff · 26/11/2019 18:43

What you need are some nice jaggy boulders to build a rockery down the border on your side just higher than an open car door.

Why doesn't she reverse in and open her door the other way? Probably because there isn't space? what stops them widening the driveway on the other side? or buying a fucking normal car

GuyFawkesDay · 26/11/2019 18:44

We had this issue, which we solved by getting our drive done up, and building a brick wall which we needed as we actually dropped the angle of our steep drive.

Previously not was same slope as the neighbours. They used the lawn as a car exit, and let their dogs piss on it.

So I lowered the drive, made it permeableblock paving and flatter for our ease.

And now they have a brick wall to negotiate, and the dogs lost a pee spot 😁

BelCuore · 26/11/2019 18:45

Absolutely not being unreasonable! I have witnessed the same with a neighbour opposite to me. Opening their car door and exiting onto neighbour's driveway. No, no, no! You're within your rights and they are being a bad neighbour-don't feel bad!!!

UrsulaPandress · 26/11/2019 18:47

And if they slip on your grass .....

MrsBadcrumble123 · 26/11/2019 18:50

Sorry to highjavk but my sister is having an issue with her neighbours - her drive is to the right as you look at houses to her neighbours drive but not next to her house she lives in the middle of three houses. On the right of her drive is a piece of grass land. Her neighbour has built an extension over their drive effectively cutting off their access (no garden gate now) and are now saying they have right of access over the land owned by my sister next to her drive in order to get to back of their garden. They have been awful through whole extension process, selfish and inconsiderate. Where does she stand with this access - if anyone if legal mind can help it would be much appreciated Smile

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