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AIBU?

Neighbour complaining about our garden lights

357 replies

Slave2love · 25/11/2019 11:09

Very petty and silly subject I know but here goes.
We have a small hedge on the edge of our front lawn to separate our garden from the neighbour's driveway. (Only recently planted, very small at this stage) further in on our lawn we have put a few small solar lights. Next doors drive is only just wide enough to squeeze 2 cars side by side and there is very little room to open doors etc. Until we put the hedge and lights in they were opening their car door fully over our garden in order to get out (also stepping on our land at times). Now I appreciate that we have made it awkward for them to open the doors fully now but surely they are not entitled to use our garden in order to get out of their car? They are new to the street but we knew of them previously and children are actually in the same class at school. Neighbour has asked this morning if we can move the solar lights. All has been pleasant with them up until now despite them being quite selfish neighbours. I could understand if the lights were on the boundary line but they are much further in. I feel it is them who have created the problem by parking 2 cars on a drive only really suitable for one. AIBU to not want to move the lights?

OP posts:
whatisheupto · 26/11/2019 18:51

I haven't read the full thread but of course YANBU. If you feel you can't tell her outright that she is being a cheeky fucker, could you make a wide and deep flower bed around the hedge so that they would be forced to step in mud?

Alrighteo · 26/11/2019 18:52

I am extremely territorial, so this would piss me right off. I always surreptitiously shoved colleagues' pages back to their own side of the desk divide while they had gone to the toilet. I am that bad. What's mine is mine. I like to know the boundaries of my territory. I think I'm a throwback to a neanderthal or something.

So I totally get you. 100% get you.

I would innocently reply next time - "Oh the lights? Yes... You had mentioned those, though I'd forgotten. Sorry.... Ye, no, they're definitely on our side of the boundary. Move them? God no. I've OCD and it would make our garden completely asymmetrical and would have me up at night!! Anyway, must dash......"

WaxOnFeckOff · 26/11/2019 18:52

Maybe they'd like you to move the lights and the hedge and lay a nice wee strip of gravel path so that they don't get their feet muddy on your lawn when getting in and out OP? It makes a mess of their car carpet dontcha know?

Fitlarwa · 26/11/2019 18:52

Not silly at all. Neighbours can really make your life difficult.
Your situation is very straight forward. If lights are on your land and do not flash with strong light into your neighbours windows then there is nothing they can do about it.
Put cameras in case they will want to damage them

LimaCharlieHotelPapa · 26/11/2019 18:55

@slave2love tbh this would infuriate me. I can't bear it when people don't respect other people's property. Frankly having their kids running across your garden to me is worse. It's up to them if they park two cars on their driveway, but relying on your land to make that possible - especially without your prior consent - isn't being neighbourly. It sounds as though you are the only one who has been giving ground in this relationship.

Personally I don't think the hedge is suitable, I think a fence is a much clearer statement and leaves no doubt as to where everyone stands (and possibly why you didn't choose it to begin with?). Also it will take a while for the hedge to grow but once it has and needs trimming I'm guessing you'd need to cross over on to their side to cut it, which they may argue is a bit hypocritical?

It's easy for us to be gung ho in this situation without living with the consequences and I guess there is potential for it to escalate, but it sounds as though you have already put up with a lot and moving the lights in my mind confirms to them that they don't need to be considerate of your property or wishes. Good luck!

masterblaster · 26/11/2019 18:59

Replace them with an electric fence.

MissConductUS · 26/11/2019 19:01

You can't allow them regular use of your property, even if just to get out of their car. It might eventually form the basis of a claim for adverse possession of that strip of your garden. I think the case would be a long shot, but CF's could certainly try.

supercee · 26/11/2019 19:03

Absolutely tell her to jog on. She should've factored in the space when either she moved in or bought the second car. Not your problem.

Have you responded to her yet?

OlaEliza · 26/11/2019 19:04

Until we put the hedge and lights in they were opening their car door fully over our garden in order to get out (also stepping on our land at times)

😱 Dear god, no!

I don't know how you're coping. 😔. You are so brave to soldier on through such adversity 💪

hifolks · 26/11/2019 19:12

Get a big old shot gun and shout " Get orff my land"

Chocolatelover45 · 26/11/2019 19:14

Get a rockery then they might as well move their rockery as get you to move yours

SkaraBrae · 26/11/2019 19:15

I'm surprised no-one has mentioned removing the lights and replacing them with penguin bollards.

BettyBooJustDoinTheDoo · 26/11/2019 19:27

You need rocks not a hedge, something like this would do the trick.

Neighbour complaining about our garden lights
TreestumpsAndTrampolines · 26/11/2019 19:28

We have a drive barely wide enough for one car. When we moved in, it was clear that just getting in and out of the car once a day was going to turn that side of the front garden into a muddy soup puddle very quickly (or a dust bowl in summer). We've got those rubber mats with the holes in and that's the only thing that makes it possible to use our drive without risking life and limb (ours and the postie's) onslippery mud/grass/leaves. (as an aside, they are awesome, we actually have grass all the way to the edge, and it's only because of these mats)

That's why it's a thing if someone's always getting out of their car onto your lawn, and why OP does need to make sure it doesn't become a thing if they're already selfish neighbours

Perch · 26/11/2019 19:29

Just build a fence! Fence panels aren’t that expensive.

BoomBoomsCousin · 26/11/2019 19:36

@MrsBadcrumble123 I suggest you start your own thread (or, better yet, your sister does). Normally the advice would be to check deeds etc. to see if a right of way does exist (they can't simply create one by blocking their own access). And, if neighbours escalate or insist on using her land after she's told them no, to speak with a solicitor (if your sister's house insurance includes legal advice to use that) as people on Internet forums, myself included, are not qualified to provide advice that could potentially adversely impact property values by thousands.

Tessabelle74 · 26/11/2019 19:36

Reginafelangee
I'd object, boundary lines exist for a reason. What if they start just putting two wheels up on the garden? Will that be OK as after all, you were OK with them standing there to get out of the car?

Elieza · 26/11/2019 19:39

@MrsBadcrumble123 access to properties would surely be shown on the title deeds? I doubt the council would have given planning permission on land that had an access on it but worth checking?

OP if space is tight are they using it in the best way? Eg One if them would reverse in hard against the one side boundary, and the other car would drive in hard against the other side boundary. That means both drivers doors are in the middle beside each other and no space is wasted on the passenger side (passengers can get in/out on the road prior to parking/leaving) leaving lots of space up the middle.

Or perhaps your neighbours driving is shit and one of them can’t reverse in!

MintyMabel · 26/11/2019 19:43

Petty, petty thing to do.

Clearly you hate them and have done this out of revenge. That’s unpleasant.

BoomBoomsCousin · 26/11/2019 19:43

OP one thing that MrsBradcrumble's post reminded me of is the need not to let use of your land (including having the car door swing over the grass) go on for too long unchallenged as they could (over a long period of time) develop a right of way over that land. Then you and anyone who buys your house will be obliged to maintain the garden so that the neighbours can continue to do as they have, regardless of what you want your garden to be. Though I believe establishing a right of way is a pretty long process and potentially costly, it might be wise to find out exactly what the parameters are so that you don't accidentally fall into a situation you can't get out of.

Mummyme1987 · 26/11/2019 20:07

If your neighbour slipped while stepping over your hedge onto your grass that they have turned muddy but using it as part of their drive, would you be liable?

Kayyy · 26/11/2019 20:11

I dont understand how solar lights can be a problem, I'm sure there only on at night and there not bright at all!! They probably the dimmiest lights you can have outside instead of a ouside light, I understand it may be tight and may be standing on to your side of your garden but why are the lights such a problem to them..i would ask and say can I ask how the lights are bothering you then try and help but I think its get petty anoyying niebeour lol

tillytrotter1 · 26/11/2019 20:14

We had a situation with our neighbour, their sons, who don't actually live there, but used their drive to work on their cars. There were a few small bushes between and we found that they had dumped old batteries in our bushes! I moved them onto their drive with my foot so they didn't remain upright and the stuff leaked out. When one of their sons did his 2 am arrival to put his car noisily into the garage, he hit it, hard. Very satisfactory, they didn't leave their crap in our bushes again.

brighteyeowl17 · 26/11/2019 20:18

I actually cannot believe some people are defending the neighbours? Get the f**k off someone else’s garden then! What is wrong with the world these days.

l0v3f00d · 26/11/2019 20:18

Well firstly I'd ask myself did you put them their ti pee them off and make life harder the them. If so I'd back down and move them

If it's a totally genuine choice keep them .. if a falling out doesn't bother you

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