To be worried about village life already?

[AdoptedBumpkin]

Hi all. This is my first post, so be gentle.

We moved as a family from Greater London to a medium sized village in a national park a few weeks ago. While I enjoy some aspects of rural life, I am beginning to worry about some of the villagers. They seem to gossip a lot about each other and it seems probable that that they must gossip about us, if only because not much else is going on.

Yesterday I was walking through the village with my daughter and passed a local old-ish couple. I heard the lady say something about 'the gilet' and I was wearing my purple North face gilet. It may have been positive and/or throwaway, but it spooked me that something so mundane would be commented on. I am used to a life where you really have to try hard to stand out.

Having said that, the within hearing distance gilet comment doesn’t sound like harmless village gossip to me, it sounds intended to make you feel uncomfortable which is a bit worrying.

@Emmapeeler1 I'm not sure she meant me to hear, but it did leave me feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Reading some of the replies on here, I get the impression that home counties villages are very different to the ones up here!

Our village is considered to be the 'naicest' in the area, but there are loads of tradesmen live here. No one would dream of objecting to a van or judging someone on perceived income. I'm very glad we live up north!

I live in the South in a little village and no-one would give a hoot about a trades van parked outside Inverse snobbery there.

OP I've lived here for over 20 years and really love it, of course everyone knows who you are but that's actually proved to be a useful and nice thing if anything goes wrong. Try not to overthink the couple of villagers who you are wary of, everyone else will hopefully be normal and not overly interested in you.

Is the National Park in England, or in Scotland or Wales ? As there are huge cultural variations

England, without being too specific. Not too far from nearest large town, but still very much a rural feel.

Thanks @Vickyprice. Hopefully that's how it will be.

I’m still told that I won’t be a local until “I ‘ave someone in the churchyard”

We've always reckoned on not being local until there are three generations in the churchyard. We achieved this last week when we buried my brother. Two generations of kids through the local school though.

I don't live there any more (somewhere smaller now!) but it's fantastic to know there are people there who keep an eye on my elderly mother and over these last weeks have been galvanising the troops to go and visit her in hospital 10 or so miles away.

It's not for everyone but it ca be great. If it doesn't suit you it doesn't suit you, but that's not because we're all LARPing the League of gentlemen/wicker man/Hot Fuzz.

(Although actually I maintain Hot Fuzz has some elements of documentary.)

Sorry for your loss @FreezerBird.

I've always suspected Hot Fuzz was a p*ss take of Midsomer Murders.

I'm starting to feel very lucky that the village I live in is nothing like some of the ones described here. 😳 It's not perfect, but it's lovely.

You have to have a drink to make life bearable

I go to the pub once a year on Christmas Eve, that's it.

We had a murder in the village and it's still talked about 117 years later as they're still trying to solve it.

Cities are great particularly if you are in a central location which is a mix of business and residential. The anonymity is good.

Inverse snobbery there

Hardly! I was going by the multiple accounts in this thread of people being told not to park their vans in home counties villages. If your village isn't like that, great, but there have been several examples in this thread.

I grew up in the Cotswolds and it was exactly like 'Our country'. That show was absolutely spot on!

Documentary? This Country.

I'm starting to feel very lucky that the village I live in is nothing like some of the ones described here.

Me too!

OP - wear whatever clothes you feel comfortable in, goth, hippy, whatever. Beyond any initial novelty value (if there is even that!) no one will care. I don't know what national park you are in, but if it's the Yorkshire Dales, I can assure you we've seen it all before.

(The only exception I can think of is that people will find it amusing if your chosen style is totally unsuitable for the weather and local paths. But even that would get no more than a chuckle.)

People who live in villages are not backward, and many of them will work in nearby towns and cities and be exposed to all kinds of sights. They have better things to think about than your clothes.

I can't imagine living somewhere where it's seen as weird for women to work full time. It'd be interesting to know where all these places are!

There's a decent chance that the comment you overhead about your clothes was either positive or neutral so the woman didn't mind you hearing it.

People might be feeling awkward as you feel awkward when chatting to them and as an incomer they're trying to see what you're like- you worry that they think you don't fit in, they're wondering if you're looking down on their slower way of life after moving in from London...

All villages are different.
The village we rented in was a bit gossipy and whilst pleasant enough, they still viewed people who were born within 20 miles of the village as not being local and no different to foreigners(!)
I love where we now live as we're about a mile outside another village but because I have a child at the local primary, we still know a lot of local people. We've only been here 5 years but I got involved with a few local groups that interest me and I've made a lot of really good friends within the area. Both locals and incomers, like us. When it snowed a couple of years ago, one of our friends drove round in his tractor and dropped off lots of wood for our stove because he knew the electric was off and our oil heating wouldn't be on. His wife was with him and checked if we needed any shopping doing. When I was unwell recently, a few local ladies brought us home baking and some veg soup. DH particularly loved the raspberry muffins.
I think the problem is that you really have to put effort into getting to know your new neighbours. I'm unimpressed with 'City types' who buy up nice properties but do nothing to contribute to the community. It isn't just about paying a local person to clean for you or donating a few quid to the local church bazaar! If you're not interested in being part of a community, stay in the city and carry on ignoring the neighbours.

If there isn't one already, think about helping to set up a Timebanking cooperative.

OP - wear whatever clothes you feel comfortable in, goth, hippy, whatever. Beyond any initial novelty value (if there is even that!) no one will care.

Hopefully that is the case. Trouble is, my style was slightly unusual for the London suburbs, never mind here (not the Dales). I do dress practically however when necessary.

they're wondering if you're looking down on their slower way of life after moving in from London.

Good point. Have to admit I hadn't thought much about this.

Have to say, I love "This Country" but I hope this village isn't like theirs!

they're wondering if you're looking down on their slower way of life after moving in from London

I doubt they are.

England, without being too specific. Not too far from nearest large town, but still very much a rural feel.

I live in the South Downs national park, on the edge of a small town. It really doesn't feel rural any more, the town has got so built up and crowded, and is full of hipster-type DFLs.

DP reckons Hoxton and Shoreditch must be empty now, there are so many incomers here. He's talking bollocks of course. Most of the DFLs seem to have decamped from south of the river. If I wanted to be surrounded by Londoners, I'd have stayed in bloody Croydon.

I suppose that's the price you pay for only being an hour from London by train, which is why we want to move somewhere proper rural.

I'm guessing New Forest. They won't change

I'm probably a relative 'hipster' here - although we were more suburban than central London previously.

OP! Dress as yourself! If you didn't wear gilet before, don't wear one now. Wear a gilet if you want to, but not to fit in.

Who cares if your style is different in the city or a village. You'll be in your comfort zone - assuming you have the style because you like it! And who cares if they gossip about it.

Stay you.

OP! Dress as yourself! If you didn't wear gilet before, don't wear one now. Wear a gilet if you want to, but not to fit in.

I pretty have dressed as myself, except a bit more practically when the weather is bad as the pavements are not as solid as I am used to.

Some of my expensive stuff hasn't been worn yet.

Expensive stuff as in 'country wear'? Or as in your own taste clothing?