To be worried about village life already?

[AdoptedBumpkin]

Hi all. This is my first post, so be gentle.

We moved as a family from Greater London to a medium sized village in a national park a few weeks ago. While I enjoy some aspects of rural life, I am beginning to worry about some of the villagers. They seem to gossip a lot about each other and it seems probable that that they must gossip about us, if only because not much else is going on.

Yesterday I was walking through the village with my daughter and passed a local old-ish couple. I heard the lady say something about 'the gilet' and I was wearing my purple North face gilet. It may have been positive and/or throwaway, but it spooked me that something so mundane would be commented on. I am used to a life where you really have to try hard to stand out.

We had a murder in the village and it's still talked about 117 years later as they're still trying to solve it.

We had one about 35 years ago everyone knows who did it - but no-one has any proof. (ie no one recorded the fucker when he all but admitted it to people when drunk.)

Just my own clothes, leather jackets etc. Mostly because I've had no real reason to wear them and/or not very practical in winter in the country.

@longwayoff yes 'This country' is what I meant It's absolutely nailed Cotswold life, hilarious.

I grew up in a small, remote town. Hated it and couldn’t wait to leave, as soon as I was 18 I was out and have been a city dweller ever since. It was the roughest place I’ve ever lived.

Yet, other people seem to love it and came back there to have families. Seems odd to me but they’re happy and enjoy the life up there.

As a complete side note, gilet is a horrible word and it should be avoided at all times

Noone cares about your gilet. Wear your gilet with pride. Hopefully you'll settle down a bit and stop being so paranoid.

Noone cares about your gilet. Wear your gilet with pride. Hopefully you'll settle down a bit and stop being so paranoid.

I think this lady possibly did. Maybe I'm not paranoid, maybe they are trying to kill me

Well, so what if she did. This morning I wore wellies, pyjama bottoms, a mud covered fleece and my dds bright pink bobble hat to go and check on the horses. I also had a mug of tea and a bag of carrots. I saw two other people walking their dogs and we said hello and had a chat about the rain. Maybe they thought the pink hat and the harry potter pjs were a bit mad, but I don't care a bit!

Gilet is a horrible word as is blouson.

Elbeagle

they're wondering if you're looking down on their slower way of life after moving in from London

I doubt they are.

I doubt that too. How amusing to have such a thought, though.

What sort of gilet was it?! Gilets are pretty bog standard country/village wear aren’t they? I’d say about 75% of the mums on the school run in our village wears a gilet!

The villagers were wonderful at popping in on my mother in her last years, however look more closely, and all but one weren't villagers born and bred, but people who chose to move there, many of them in early retirement but some younger. Perhaps they sought, and thereby created a friendly community.
I think a bright "Hello!" as you pass anyone, is all that's required to identify you as friendly.
If you have a dog, being principle walker seems to work wonders, my aunt, who lives in an Oxfordshire village, is regularly waved at and spoken to by people she doesn't know from Adam, - and she reckons, convincingly, that it's because she's known to be "Dave's wife" and Dave is known to all because he walks their lab everyday and could start a conversation with a lamppost.

A fairly standard one, other than the colour perhaps. They are not uncommon here, which is why I found it strange.

Get a dog if you can love & look after it. Fastest way into village life.

Purple isn't an uncommon colour.

I think the most likely explanation is that she was making an innocent reference "oh look, that's the lady who's moved in down the lane - the lady with the gilet"

Gilets have been around a very long time and wearing one in the autumn will not make you stand out.

Or "oh, that reminds me, I need to get myself a new gilet"

Quite possibly, I just found it odd. Maybe it's just a cultural shift.

Watch out for the traffic in some villages. My road has now turned into the equivalent of the M25. today we were besieged by a great number of vehicles and a near traffic jam. Two cars and a bicycle dared to drive on my road, it was horrendous, I don't think that I'll ever get over the stress of it all. Poor George, the local pheasant who was strolling down the road with his wives was forced to run and jump into the bushes to escape the reckless road users.

@AdoptedBumpkin

Don't forget to look out for the village witch ... they are usually middle aged with long black hair and live in cottage on their own with a cat. They also have ring chimes hanging in their front garden

wind chimes I meant to type lol

@JoannaObrien

Most people seem nice enough and I'm sure they are. I have met a few local characters (mostly women) who seem passive aggressive. Not necessarily this woman but some others I have met.

Well quite and as in London the nice people won't like the women you refer to either.

Smile, wave but only stop if you want to talk to someone . Be selective as I somehow doubt you like everyone you've met there either. There are deffo some right pillocks in our London office alongside the nice normal people (the people there are the only Londoners I know ) You are overthinking it you don't need to like everyone whether in the country or not.

If you don't go with your instincts and get obsessed with these passive aggressive types the nice people will be wary of you just as would happen in London ffs people are people after all

I view it as a rather slow burning comedy..

The pub is the source of information, if you want a plumber or an electrician, you will find out who is good and who takes your money and pisses about for six months.

You'll likely discover who are the forceful personalities, who are the 'influential' people, who are the 'people who think they are influencers', who is on the local council... who thinks who is a total prick but won't say anything to their face.

Be friendly and smile but don't try too hard.

Definitely DO NOT frighten the horses...

Go to some of the local events, not all, but some - You needn't show up to the weasel throttling festival AND the tractor pulling AND the welly wanging AND join in the young farmers fancy dress pub crawl all transported by tipper trailer and tractor, and it is not obligatory to ride to the pub on your horse because you got done for drink driving... but you know, take an interest.

Mostly I find people are curious and nosy, and are on edge lest someone causes trouble like, scaring the horses, moaning about cows making a noise or pooing on roads (or here, standing by the road looking 'menacing') or, running over sheep and not stopping or telling anyone...

There will always be a twat or three, there will always be nosiness and curiosity and people will always fill in the gaps if they don't know the details...

But they do it to everyone and something else will happen tomorrow and they will be chuntering on about that instead of you, in no time at all.

When I lived in Shrewsbury I would sometimes visit Pulverbatch a small village with a nice pub called The White Horse .. I must revisit it again as the food was very good.

Pulverbatch had a witch lol

www.pulverbatch.org.uk/placesandpeople.shtml