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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset at what happened and upset at how I reacted

107 replies

Fcukthisshit · 24/11/2019 09:21

So, I live on a quiet street. A week ago at night (9ish) I walked into my hallway and someone was looking through my front door. Gave me a heart attack! I opened the door and it turned out to be a carer looking for a house on the other side of town (think along the lines of high street vs high avenue). DH directed carer to where they needed to be.

Friday I’m at home with just my toddler and I caught movement at the front door out of the corner of my eye. I started walking to the door and the handle starts to rattle as the person outside is trying to get in. I’m literally convinced at this point that someone is trying to break in and I panicked. I flew at the door and went mental (shouting but no swearing). Turns out it was another carer for the same address as a week ago. She point blank refuses to tell me which company she worked for so I could clear up the address issue which left me having to contact all the local companies until I found the right one.

I feel terrible for shouting at her but at the same time I don’t appreciate being frightened in my own home twice! (FWIW I’ve caught burglars in my back garden once before - they threatened to burn my house down, so I’m probably jumpier than the average person)

So was I unreasonable to have shouted - even though it was in panic - not aggression (and then anger when she wouldn’t tell me the company she worked for). It’s really bothered me all weekend. I realise it wasn’t the carers fault as she had obviously been given the wrong information, but common sense should have told her that the street name didn’t match and my house wasn’t part of a sheltered block of retirement flats (which is where she was looking for).

Maybe I was unreasonable and I should contact the company again and pass an apology on or maybe others would have reacted the same way I did?? Tell me what you think! Maybe I won’t feel so bad if others would react the same way?

OP posts:
Quicklittlenamechange · 24/11/2019 16:35

Blue
Either families or SS install not Care Companies but everyone seems to be ignoring this point anyway .🤷‍♀️
Carers do not just open the door and go in.
If the person was vulnerable SS would NOT let them sit in an unlocked house .
They always have a key safe installed.

ClientListQueen · 24/11/2019 17:18

@Quicklittlenamechange carers can and do just open the door. Arrangements for entry are on the list where I worked so you knew how to access
It varied from a key safe to knock and walk in to use back door as always open. I could list 15 clients who always have their door unlocked when the carer is due, it's very common
Or you would knock and try the door because you knew 99% of the time it would be open

Fcukthisshit · 24/11/2019 17:26

@ShadowOnTheSun holy shit!! How frightening for you. I hope you are doing ok now.

To the person who suggested a ring doorbell - we do plan on getting one after Christmas. They look like a good idea.

OP posts:
AnneElliott · 24/11/2019 17:55

YANBU op. I would have rested the same way. 2 years ago two men tried to kick our door in to break in. I'm a lot more jumpy now after that experience.

AnneElliott · 24/11/2019 17:55

Reacted! Not rested.

strawberrieshortcake · 24/11/2019 18:02

OP if you are so on edge about people breaking in to your house and have caught burgulars before then you do really need to be more vigilant in locking your door.

Fcukthisshit · 24/11/2019 18:25

@AnneElliott I’m the same since catching burglars in the garden. I definitely wasn’t as jumpy before that happened.

OP posts:
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