To assume if my reception child isn't eating...

[Donkeykong2019]

My DD is in reception. Food has been an issue to the point she was under the dietician. She says she doesn't like school dinners but I have persevered because I want her to eat. I have assumed that school would notice if she isn't eating and would have told me?

I've been having a panic that she isn't eating and no one has told me!

I'm going to send her with packed lunch from now on which is frustrating as school dinners would be my best bet for her trying new things.

This is the error I’m afraid. Food sensory issues need to be dealt with at home, patiently in a secure place. My 6yo with HFA basically lived on peanut butter sandwiches, Weetabix, mashed potato and rice cakes until he was 4. It’s taken a LOT of gentle coaxing but he now eats a reasonable-ish diet but school dinners are out. The stress of trying new food in that atmosphere would cause a complete meltdown.

CallmeAngelina Mon 25-Nov-19 17:50:58
What the heck is a 'light tea?'
Really? You can't think? hmm
Something like sandwiches, as opposed to a full cooked 'meat, potatoes and 3x veg combo,' I suppose.
..........
I guessed that or something like but never heard it called that before. I would have thought a child would want a proper meal later on.

I have a similarly fussy eater (who was also very keen on milk), so you have my sympathy.

At DD's school, the TAs sit with them to eat in reception - I hadn't said anything to the school in advance, but they mentioned her eating.

I did ask about restricted diets when we looked at schools. At DD's, they are permitted plain pasta/rice/bread if they don't like what's on offer. These are safe foods for DD, so she does eat something every day.

Those asking if you can only have pudding if you've eaten your first course, that's very much discouraged by dietitians, and in any case, I think there's only one pudding a week that DD would eat. She's always allowed to have one.

So it's worth asking the school what their policy about what a child can choose is (if you want to revisit school dinners).

Packed lunches are definitely working better. Although I did find out school are letting her have 2-3 cartons of milk a day which may explain why she won't drink anything else again 🤦‍♀️

Your daughter sounds very like I was- i also drank pints and pints of milk a day growing up but very little else. For 3 years I lived on about 5 foods. At school I was an expert in hiding food so it looked like I ate. It is only now that it has been recognised I have sensory processing issues and a big thing for me is not just new tastes/textures but the environment itself. I travel a lot for work and find I can't eat in new or noisy environments but will eat a small amount of calorie dense food to get me through the day to when I do feel comfortable eating. A noisy canteen means I just can't eat. Is there a possibility that your DD could eat somewhere a bit quieter? A classroom with a couple of friends maybe?

As a qualified primary and secondary teacher, I'd always tell parents if their child wasn't eating, regardless of their age. I once had an 18 year old with ASD who would always spend all his dinner money on sweets from the local shop instead of buying a sandwich at school. I told his mum at parents evening and she started making him packed lunchs instead. Maybe you could make your child packed lunches then you'd be able to see exactly what they're eating/make sure they always have something they like.

.. Just seen your update. Glad packed lunches are working better.

You know that is an excessive amount of calcium which can cause kidney stones, and iron and zinc deficiency right?? Why on earth would you let her have that much milk??

Countryescape do you think the fact that the OP states they were working with the health visitor, the children's nurse, a peadiatrician and a dietician to resolve the milk situation means that the OP was passively ‘letting’ her daughter have that much milk?

She doesn’t like school dinners but you make her have them! My mum did this to me and it still grates on me, made to sit there with hardly any play time was so embarrassing. Why don’t you just do packed lunches ffs. As adult I still wouldn’t eat the food they give at school dinners, so nothing to do with being a fussy eater, I mean, who in the world is a fan of cold smash!?

It is surprising nothing has been picked up if there was an issue. In the days when there were only pack lunches my son desperate for the school sandwich provider as he liked the brown bags the food came in. School mentioned to me he wasnt eating (mayonnaise in the sarnies) . Swapped back to homemade and all ok.

I think you do need to go into school with the necessary info so that the school has the info and lunchtime staff can be briefed and also how to encourage etc and then if necessary swap to homemade lunchbox.

Food sensitivities always seem very trivial to people who havent experienced the worry it causes so it is v natural to be concerned. Good luck.

Threads about children and adults with restricted or 'fussy' eating always bring out the arseholes.

Op - I agree with telling the school about your Dd's history with eating so that they can get a full picture of her issues and a letter from the dietician may be helpful with this.

However, beyond a letter and keeping them afford, our experience of ds and school is that they can do more harm than help.

I make ds the same packed lunch every day. Lunchtimes are hard enough - too noisy, too many children, the smell...having safe reliable food means he may actually eat something.