AIBU - son needs surgery, supervisor not replying to request for days off

[tympanic]

Found out yesterday my young son needs urgent surgery next week. Sent my supervisor a text as soon as I knew to ask if he was free to chat. No reply. He’s been emailing colleagues today about work-related issues so emailed the situation to him. Still no reply.

I asked others if he has form for this but am told he usually replies soon after they text/email him.

Obviously I’m stressed. I’m not asking for days off for my enjoyment. AIBU to think this is pretty poor of him and something’s off?

Ring him?

YANBU. And don’t be stressed, obviously you’re going to take the time off regardless of what he says. As if you’re going to be at work when your little boy is in surgery even if he says no. Can you call him?

Free to chat doesn’t sound remotely urgent. Call him or message telling him your issue and ask for a response.

Hope the surge goes well.

Email him again and copy in his boss too. And make sure you're explicit - "My son is going in to X hospital for urgently surgery on x date. I will not be in work on x,y,z days. I have tried to contact you twice now with no reply. Please call me urgently to discuss."

YANBU, it sounds really stressful. You need to call him. Good luck!

Yabu- a text asking to chat is not good enough. Ring him if he's working or send an email with his manager copied in.

For those who didn’t read the first post -

He’s been emailing colleagues today about work-related issues so emailed the situation to him. Still no reply.

Maybe he is thinking about a solution before he responds? How long ago did you email?

I would try ringing him then you’ve exhausted all avenues.

Hope your DS is ok x

Why do you think people haven’t read the first post? I know you’re stressed but you don’t need to get arsey with people who are trying to help. Seriously, call him.

@hidinginthenightgarden About eight hours ago, about the same time he sent emails to us about other things.

I don’t want to ring because it’s technically his day off. But he’s always on his phone/email anyway. So he’s definitely seen the text and email. Just not replying.

If it’s his day off maybe he just isn’t replying to work related emails.

I’m not being arsey. Sorry if it came across that way. A couple of posters said to tell him the details. I thought my initial message indicated I had done that in my email.

So your annoyed with him for not replying on his day off? Then yes you are being very unreasonable!

@Sirzy My workmates have said he replies to them shortly after they message him while on his day off.

If it's his day off perhaps he need to be at work so he can check schedules or rotas before he can reply.
(But that's not really a good excuse, he should be sending you a nice concerned email saying you're not to worry about work, he'll sort something out. )

But that’s his choice. You can’t expect anyone to do anything on their day off.

When he is in work phone him and discuss the issue.

Maybe he needs to check his work diary at the office or speak to someone first. I think YABU, I’m afraid. Talk to him on Monday.

@Sirzy Yes, I will. I just find it odd that he replies to others quickly on his day off and not me.

@Tartyflette He regularly checks and changes rosters from home. Again, on his day off. I appreciate he works too hard. Just not sure why he can’t reply to me but he can reply to others.

It will get sorted when he's back in work. He obviously doesn't want to spend his free time thinking about this, which is fair enough.

Maybe he doesn’t think he needs to reply
You need the time off so he’s accepted it and doesn’t feel like there is anything to discuss

Maybe he’s changing the roster and he’ll let you know when it’s done.

Given the importance of your situation, and the fact that your supervise is comfortable replying to other emails on his day off, I'm surprised he's not replied to you.

I'd expect it was an oversight though. You've texted, he's been emailing. Just email him - "Hi supervisor, I'm not sure if you've seen my text but I found out yesterday that my son is having surgery on [date] so I can't come in that day. Sorry for the short notice. Is there anything I can do in advance? I appreciate you're not working today so can we catch up when we are both in next?"

@DisplayPurposesOnly My email to him was almost word-for-word the same as yours. Spooky!

He's texting other people and emailing them on a day off - your email is worthy of a response. You are not overstepping by contacting him if he usually does this in his day off.

It could be that he's just thought 'oh ok, that's absolutely fine' and not felt he need to?

Best wishes to your son.