To say something how they eat

[disneyconfusion]

Going on holiday with my PIL for 2 weeks...

we saw them tonight and we were all at the table having some food and while I already knew my MIL eats loudly (think a lot of lip smacking and loud finger suckings, honestly it's OTT) because I spend a lot of time with her, my FIL was even worse!

They were both making the most atrocious noises, it was honestly quite shocking... my DP was looking at me like 'OMG' because people eating loudly does annoy him anyway and this was particularly extreme.

My ex husband also eats like this too.

I can understand that maybe you don't notice if you're always living and eating alone and I might gobble a bit if I'm hungry and alone but when I'm around other people I'm conscious that I'm eating quietly out of respect for them... not in an unnatural or uncomfortable way but just polite.

I think that this will drive me absolutely insane on holiday and not to mention I think i will feel a bit embarrassed if they eat like this in public which I'm assuming they do because my MIL has always eaten like this when I've see her.

AIBU to ask them to eat with their mouths closed and quieter?

[DontDribbleOnTheCarpet]

For the sake of marital harmony, my husband and I rarely eat in the same room. He thinks it's because I'm unusually sensitive to noise. I'm really not. He slurps, talks with his mouth full and since he was about 65 his jaw makes a really offputting clicking noise when he chews. I think it's connected to him refusing to put in his bloody false teeth (so much fuss about getting them and never worn once since).

This would drive me mad and I would probably try really hard to be tactful but eventually blurt something very rude. Better not to do this, obviously! Since your DP has obviously noticed this too, it will be less hurtful for him to say something about it I think, and maybe to either speak to them before you go, or after the first meal. They might react less strongly if they are spoken to in private rather than in front of other people (assuming restaurant or hotel setting).

[NarwhalsNarwhals]

I've never understood how people make so much noise while eating, or worse, don't know to close their mouths whilst chewing! It drives me mad.

When I was a teenager and just started dating my mother told me that you should always make sure your first date involves eating because you don't want to fall for a guy then discover he eats with his mouth open looking like a cement mixer. It's some of the best advice she's ever given me.

[ThatsMeInTheSpotlight]

It's awful and they won't change. DH's family can be like this and I just sit and wonder why no-one taught them how to eat properly.

DS has zero tolerance for noisy eating.

[Lindy2]

Why did you agree to go on holiday with them if you knew this would bother you so much? Surely you knew they were noisy eaters before and assuming your DH grew up with his parents he must have been well aware of this.

I do think you'd be being rather rude and personal to mention it. If you do you need to appreciate there is the very real risk your PIL will feel judged and offended if you make an issue of it. Is it really worth that risk? If anyone mentions it though it should be your husband as they are his parents. It should not be from you.

[tiredgirl123]

Ughhhhh!! My most recent ex are like a pig at the trough.. when I went round his for dinner I saw why...every time I'm tempted to miss him I remember him shovelling food in his face and it clarifys the situation again
Let DP tell them you're brave going away with them op

[myidentitymycrisis]

This thread has made me pAranoid I might be a noisy eater!

I’m going to eat really self consciously now!

[1forAll74]

Why don't you and your Husband copy their noisy eating habits,only louder,when you have to eat with them again, and see if they say anything.

[Dollymixture22]

My dads table manners are atrocious. He starts eating before everyone has even got their food and regularly talks with his mouth full.

We have a cold starter On Christmas Day so they are usually set out on the table while we are adding the finishing touches and rounding everyone up. By the time we have returned to the table he has usually eaten his alone😊. It’s hard to drum table manners into the children when grandad dances to his own beat.

[ffswhatnext]

Oh op. Good luck. Two weeks of pure torture.

Thankfully I've avoided it in my private life. But I used to avoid certain ex-colleagues for their table manners.
Some days it would be torture sitting in the staff with -
One a slurper, every fucking day soup followed by coffee. Slurrrrrppp
One eats with the mouth open making loads of noises.
One mouth open talking with a mouth full
And a hummer. This was the worse though as the person hummed everywhere.

I would walk into the staff room see them there, make an excuse and leave. I just couldn't. The days they came in afterwards I used to have some very imaginative thoughts about what I would do to them. It was rather entertaining at times.

[Sarcelle]

@SynchroSwimmer Could you tell me the make/model of the headphones. Ta!

[Lovelylugs]

Maybe you could comment on how nice it is to eat with people who aren't bother about table manners. Tell them you were brought up with parents who cared about those things but it's so much more relaxed to just not care!😂

[moolady1977]

I do feel for you op,I had an xboyfriend who would fill his mouth with food, chew a while then take a drink and chew again another drink then swallow I used to hate it only time I actually didn't mind was when sat in a shopping centre eating area he forgot to swallow and started to splutter and our friend whipped the chair from under him knocked him to his knees and hit him on the back rather forcefully ,once he got his breathe back he turned to friend and said you didn't have to hit me so hard to which I totally cracked up laughing

[disneyconfusion]

I like the idea of copying them... only louder

I can't believe some of these horror stories!! These people need to be stopped surely!

It must be great to be able to eat like an absolute animal and not give a shit what anyone thinks!

[disneyconfusion]

@moolady1977 oh no! Gulping is also awful!!

I don't want to trigger anyone but loud breathing (especially through the nose) is almost as painful to listen to as gulping and eating like animals

[HouseworkAvoider10]

Awful.

also eating with arms and elbows out at right angles to your body.
one of my friends does this.
fork and knife in each hand.
elbows out at 90 degree angles.
how she does not get arm ache, i do not know.
she looks like a chicken flapping around a farmyard while she eats.
it is most irritating to watch.

[EKGEMS]

My husband (then boyfriend) used to hit his utensils on his teeth and it would make an awful noise enough that my mother asked me about it and early into our marriage until I complained enough to get him to stop. I now have a coworker who crunches and shoves food into her mouth like she's starving and I pray I never have to sit near her on meal break again

[Twofurrycatsagain]

I had to tell my ex to shut the attic bedroom door when he went down for breakfast as the cat would jump on the bed and wake me up. Not really,: 2 floors up I could hear the constant chink of spoon on bowl. It induced an inexplicable rage. On holiday I would appear at breakfast 10 mins after him to dodge the cereal phase. He was also prone to clicky jaw and chomping. I don't miss him...... Buy headphones, claim to be learning the local language.

[Inarightpickleandpreserve]

How did you get to this stage of a 2 week holiday? Knowing this and agreeing to go?
Apologies if you’ve explained I’m skim reading and sleep deprived

[Inarightpickleandpreserve]

What about one of those hair bands that you can position over your ears? Cover headphones underneath?

[thistimelastweek]

Truth is, I think it's an age thing. I don't know why that should be - not everyone has dentures - but observation tells me so.

I am getting on myself so I am getting to observe first hand. It isn't pretty. But it might not just be a lack of manners so careful how you tread. It might be a distressing consequence of age that needs very tactful handling
Background music is often distracting/muting.

[RightYesButNo]

@PlanDeRaccordement Seriously, all of these are horrible, but yours is by far the most disgusting. Who do you know who does that? How have you not said something or, I don’t know, vomited at the table watching them? These are all annoying but that is just sickening.

[PapayaCoconut]

one of my friends does this.
fork and knife in each hand.
elbows out at 90 degree angles.

My sister does this. You can't sit next to her because she will elbow you in the side when she's flapping up and down.

[disneyconfusion]

@Inarightpickleandpreserve we don't eat with them often (if at all really) so I totally forgot about the loud eating... and it wasn't until today that I noticed FIL is even worse than MIL 😂

Clonking the spoon on a bowl repeatedly is so unbearable and unnecessary! And the smacking of the spoon on the teeth too 🤦‍♀️

Tbf ear plugs will be great for drowning out the kids, the in-laws and the DP! I might wear them all holiday!

[supersop60]

My DP is a noisy eater and a tea-gulper.
I have to copy the sounds to stop it being so awful. He doesn't even notice what I'm doing.
I feel for you OP.

[RowenaMud]

fork and knife in each hand.
elbows out at 90 degree angles.
how she does not get arm ache, i do not know.
she looks like a chicken flapping around a farmyard while she eats.

This made tears run down my cheeks :).

I think I might have worked with your colleague. :)

My DH hits cutlery off his teeth. It drives me insane. He also eats apples louder than a bloody donkey eats them. Crunch crunch - mouth open - swallow - mouth open - crunch crunch. I can't begin to explain how rage inducing it is. Also puts his arms on the table and shovels heaped forkfuls of food into his mouth. It is disgusting. His family pride themselves on etiquette. I honestly don't know how they let him get away with eating like this. He is perfectly capable of eating normally but doesn't due to laziness.