To say something how they eat

[disneyconfusion]

Going on holiday with my PIL for 2 weeks...

we saw them tonight and we were all at the table having some food and while I already knew my MIL eats loudly (think a lot of lip smacking and loud finger suckings, honestly it's OTT) because I spend a lot of time with her, my FIL was even worse!

They were both making the most atrocious noises, it was honestly quite shocking... my DP was looking at me like 'OMG' because people eating loudly does annoy him anyway and this was particularly extreme.

My ex husband also eats like this too.

I can understand that maybe you don't notice if you're always living and eating alone and I might gobble a bit if I'm hungry and alone but when I'm around other people I'm conscious that I'm eating quietly out of respect for them... not in an unnatural or uncomfortable way but just polite.

I think that this will drive me absolutely insane on holiday and not to mention I think i will feel a bit embarrassed if they eat like this in public which I'm assuming they do because my MIL has always eaten like this when I've see her.

AIBU to ask them to eat with their mouths closed and quieter?

[disneyconfusion]

Clearly I'm not alone! It's so annoying!

@Aquamarine1029 I booked and paid for this holiday lol so they'd have a job removing me but yeah I would feel it's not my place to tell them.

My dp would probably say it outright to them but whether it will stop them is another matter. If it doesn't I will have to eat at the other end of the table from them and put the DC in the middle 😂

[disneyconfusion]

@kateluvscats urgh! The worst!

I can't even explain how my exh eats... imagine having a mouthful of food and then puffing out your cheeks and then opening and closing your mouth like a fish out of water and then smacking your tongue up and down... Grrr there's just NO NEED

[BananaPeach]

We always make sure we have the radio on or something at meal times because DH and I drive each other crazy with eating noises.

[disneyconfusion]

@hazeydays14 @Spacecudet so funny you both have 'hummers'

[PlanDeRaccordement]

At least they do not pick their noses, lick their fingers and clean out their ears at the dinner table. It could be much worse.

[theoriginalmadambee]

One word... Earplugs .

[IncrediblySadToo]

No, you simply cannot tell your PIL that they have dreadful manners!

Your DH having a polite word beforehand, maybe, if he can do it with tact. But if he can’t, then no, you can’t be telling other adults that they eat like chimps- even when they do

[dontlickthelamp]

I don’t think I could go on holiday with people like this. My mum eats like this and it makes me sick, I hate going out with her

[tiredsleepysleep]

Oh god you have my sympathy OP. The guy who sits at the desk next to me is a ridiculously noisy eater. I just don't understand how he has no idea! It's like he has too much saliva in his mouth all the time.. every thing he eats sounds like slopping noises.. drives me mad... every. Single. Day. (Monday to Friday! )

[Seeingadistance]

I’m not really sure I want to know, but how do people hum while eating?!

[hazeydays14]

Humming... have you seen the advert where the dog is eating something and he goes ‘om nom nom nom nom’ and the slogan is something like it goes ‘on and nom’ to show how long the treat lasts. It’s a bit like that 😂

Sort of like how cartoons sounds when they’re guzzling something but more subtle..? It’s hard to explain 😂

[LEELULUMPKIN]

They don't lick their knives too do they OP?

[Eckhart]

Have you tried doing it too? It might be quite entertaining to do pig impressions while you're eating, and take your mind off them.

Do it worse than them!

[SynchroSwimmer]

How about some small discreet in-ear noise reducing headphones to wear at mealtimes? (I bought some on a recent Good Housekeeping recommendation....around £20 -ish so you can try and just zone-out)

You could claim something like “I have been diagnosed with misophonia and the doctor suggested I wear these (In noisy environments?) ” - if challenged 😉

Or could you suddenly become “early risers” on holiday - get to breakfast super early “because you couldn’t sleep”....that sort of thing? (If you are in a hotel with buffet)....late lunch maybe?.....and definitely late supper/dinner (older people, myself included, tend to like eating earlier 😂.....if you can get away with not meeting at set times to eat?

[DaisyTulip]

A close family member of mine talks all the time with their mouth full. It is so irritating/horrible. They shovel in a large mouthful and straight away start talking through it, occasionally pausing to swallow a bit then carry on chewing and talking and spitting out bits of food (which they notice but don't care about).

I am desperate to say "Can it wait until you've finished that mouthful?" but they are so touchy there isn't anything you could say tactfully to without it starting a huge upset. This person is very keen to talk a lot/loves holding court, too so it happens a lot and I do cringe when they have the whole table involved in listening to their conversation with crumbs flying as they vehemently make a point whilst chomping away.

So no, YANBU.

[DaisyTulip]

^^ Oh and it's the muffled voice that cracks me up. You can't even hear what they are saying properly through the mouthful of food so you're torn between asking "Say again, I didn't hear that" and having to watch the same thing twice or just never knowing what it was.

There's a lot of things I just never know.

[OneHanded]

Can you get your DC to tell them bluntly/‘cheekily’? 😅🤷🏼‍♀️

[Passthecherrycoke]

I HATE this but you can’t say anything

It’s quite unusual that your DH has gold table manners, since they brought him up, so I’d be grateful about that

[Passthecherrycoke]

Good not gold!

[HappilyHarridan]

Background music is the only way.

[ShippingNews]

This is your DP's parents ? Doesn't he already know how they eat ?

You say you've always known how your MIL eats but have just discovered that your FIL does the same - haven't you ever eaten a meal with him ?

Seems to me that you knew that at least one of your PIL's ate loudly but you booked a 2 week holiday with them anyway.

[BillHadersNewWife]

I can't STAND this kind of thing. My PILS have some shocking habits and DH did too....he's stopped since I taught him though. But they also discuss everything too much...."Oh, the lamb is lovely isn't it? "Have you tried the potatoes? They're amazing!" ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

[disneyconfusion]

@ShippingNews tbh I didn't really even think about the eating thing until tonight and then I was like OMG!!!

FIL is DPs Step dad so he doesn't really spend much time with us by his own choice really I think he'd rather be down the pub than with us and our DC.

MIL and I are really close, we spend a lot of time together but never really eat together as she usually wants to wait til she gets home to eat with FIL

[Aquamarine1029]

I have a cousin who sticks their grotty tongue out as far as it can go every time she puts food in her mouth.

It is total agony eating near her.

[disneyconfusion]

All these horror stories! I feel for you all!!!