What makes a house feel like home?

[Brimful]

I know, sorry, not an AIBU really, but can I ask for advice how to make a house feel all homey and cosy?

It's just DH and I rattling around our place, we are both quite minimal by nature decor wise and I like white walls, neutral furniture, with splashes of colour coming from paintings, cushions, rugs.

But I can't seem to make the house feel like home. Granted, being minimal doesn't help as I hate clutter but what makes your house 'home' and not just some rooms your stuff is in?

I find it hard buying anything that doesn't have a specific purpose or use, for a long time I had to budget and only buy essentials but now I'm financially better off I can't seem to break the habit of being frugal.

Hoping for inspiration!

"I suppose the only answer (which won't appeal to a Minimalist) is: clutter."
People often comment on how "homely"my hose feels. My late DM collected some pretty unique and rare antiques, bought lots of original art and was a talented artist in her own right. Our house is full of her stuff. We also have a massive real fire, thick floor length curtains, books everywhere (collecting dust) a cat, and lots lamps. And we have a grand father clock (he's well over 250 years old) his tick is very soothing and he's greatly admired by everyone who comes here. Nothing really "matches" no furniture suite, the antiques come from all periods, the art on the wall is of all styles/periods from early 1700's to the 21 century and no matching cushions etc all in all an eclectic collection of things. Much of it has associated memories I have photos of my mother when she got engaged in the early 50's and many of the antiques I have here were in the photos and of course they were in my childhood home. Luckily (and sadly) I inherited much of it which was fortunate as it would take a long time to acquire it and a considerable amount money.

To each their own, but I don't find clutter relaxing or homely at all. I hate the way it feels like it's closing in on me and I just feel blocked by it somehow, although I couldn't tell you why. To me, a room full of stuff is busy and loud, when I want it to be calm and quiet.

Plants and books. Photos if you really feel sentimental. White walls In a lounge is a bit sterile. . you might need to tone down. Wood always feel safe. Maybe a rug in warm tones. A couple of pieces( eg, vase, pot, sculpture, ) that reflect your tastes.

For me it's the people around me and memories.

But in the general sense I agree put some of your work up, warm lighting and cosy soft furnishings.

Looking at my place which friends say is very cosy (but not cluttered, I'm a neat freak) : plants, books, rugs, wall art, mirrors, side table lamps, cushions & throws, photos, candles & the odd ornament. Minimal & all white trend can look very clinical & bare if you're not careful, I prefer wheat/biscuit, cream & ivory with splashes of teal blue .

The photo with the curtains looks like a dentist's waiting room!

@EoinMcLovesCakeJumper

I'm glad someone feels similarly. I find my white walls very calming, and it's not that I purposefully try to be minimal, I just don't have much stuff that isn't functional or needed. DH's mum was an awful hoarder so that's why he likes minimal and clean/tidy.

I'd love to find a balance between calm and cosy though.

I'll take lots of the advice and will post pics if I'm successful! :)

My cat definitely helps make my house a home. I’m allergic to the real deal so jellycat is my substitute. Visitors usually end up playing/talking to/re-posing him on his favourite chair. He’s no trouble to look after either.

Books, cat/dog, photos, art

Having furniture you have chosen and not hand-me-downs. We were in need of a new three piece and were very fortunate to be given the PILs when they moved into sheltered housing but it means our lounge, whilst now comfy, is a replica of their old house as we have their rug, tv stand and suite. It doesn't seem like ours now.

I'm like you, can't bear clutter and everything is neutral, including cream, wooden blinds. Last year I had a fake chimney breast and fireplace built- very simple and with a chunky oak mantle. It's made a wonderful difference and now feels cosy.

This is the fireplace in the making, and afterwards. It was a straightforward job and only cost around £600 to build. I put a little electric stove in the fireplace and it looks really lovely.

He he. I came on here to jokingly say clutter. Then I read your post.

For minalism, I would say lamps, house plants, textured cushions, candles, rugs. I am basically describing home decor here. Strategic fairy lights (doesn't always look tacky), large mirrors.

Going back up thread to look for ideas for myself!

Lamps. Plants. Pets. Comfort.

Is now the time to mention that as well as real cats we also have assorted Jellycats and other soft toys, mainly mythical ones and South African animals with quite a few woodland ones too? I'm forever finding them in weird places. I swear they come alive at night...my favourite one at the moment is the Jellycat dragon. We've also acquired a resin bedside table in the shape of a small bear and apparently we're going back for the sloth next time we're in that town....

OP, can I suggest you look at this from inward outwards?
Adding stuff for the sake of it is like plastering, you smooth things, but you haven’t really decorated.

For the record, everything in my house is white. I don’t have curtains, I have shutters. White. My furniture is white. I don’t have carpets, I have floorboards and a rug.

I have an open plan kitchen living room. My kitchen is gloss white. Even the bloody cat is white (I did not get the to match the furniture, I swear!). I do not like clutter or stuff lying around randomly, everything has a place, out of sight.
And yet it’s so cosy and homely and people comment how it changes their mood the minute they walk in. It is peaceful.

I waited a very very long time to have my own place. And when I got it, the first thing I did was walk around and give each space a purpose. ‘This this where I’ll gather around with friends’, ‘this is my sanctuary, my private space’, ‘this corner is for sharing food’ etc.

The purpose of my home is to be a safe, calm, cosy place where I can recharge my batteries, where I am in control, where my friends and my DD’s friends can gather around.
So everything I choose to bring in the house serves a purpose. To comfort and bring joy.

Start by inviting people in your home, with a takeaway in their laps, candlelight, music. Start by creating a reading nook, choose a comfortable armchair just for that purpose, find a really really nice blanket and a stool to rest a mug, a reading lamp and some books. Start by choosing an favourite mug. Don’t just buy a random one, keep searching till you found the one’. Start by putting thought into the fabric and quality of your bedding. Choose things that will last a long time. One by one, little by little. But don’t forget why you are doing this. It’s not to show you have taste, money, you’re doing it for comfort, for calm and joy.

OP when I'm on Pinterest for inspiration I usually end up with pictures of hotel lounges or lobbies for the reasons you've said about clutter. I also have white walls and a preference for very minimal decor, dislike trinkets. In our lounge the only decorative items are 1 candle and 2 large plants plus 1 large canvas. Everything else is functional. People comment how cosy it is. I think the large curtains (floor to ceiling and hung wider than the actual window) really help set the mood and add softness. Also having a mix of sofa cushions in different textures and sizes rather than a matching set I think is very cosy.

Gosh is that a pic of your house? That’s a bit too white even for when I was going through my white phase. I’m now trying to get paint colours right in my house because having not done so for years, it’s all a bit new to me. I’d say a little bit of clutter to avoid the sterile look, anything with a bit of colour in it. Cushions, good quality fake flowers - less is more so to speak - if you don’t like plants, lighting, curtains (always floor length). Im looking to buy some gold accessories atm to warm up the home.

Don’t think you have to get rid of a lot of stuff though. Eg you could leave your white curtains on the rail and add an extra pair on the outside in a different colour. You would have to ensure they are also eyelet tops and the same length then just draw the white curtains in the evening. As for the matching curtains at both ends, my house is open plan and I match them even though effectively they’re different rooms, which we knocked through.

Lighting, lamps etc good quality scented candles, heat, pets, blankets for the living room and books also start baking bread!

And not being scared to actually LIVE in it! Clutter, a bit of less and it not being a global catastrophe if something gets spilled!
My in laws house is posh, quite big and doesn’t feel like a home despite lots of nice stuff. It’s always too cold and they have kittens if things get spilled

I paint everything in farrow and ball modern emulsion. Ceilings and walls all the same colour. There is nothing worse than wavy lines between the two. Feature walls are an abomination. I've just bought a 400 year old cottage. I'm putting a Woodburn error in. The walls and ceilings of the living room and dining room are going a pale green that turns silver in candelight. I have a fantastic set of stag horns to put above the fireplace.
My curtain poles are hand made cast iron and I spend a lot of money on decent heavy curtains. You can save elsewhere. I like to use the colourwheel for inspiration so with green Id have red rugs and throws. Not bright red but carnelian and other different shades of green. It looks fab.

Lighting, heavy curtains, soft cushions or a throw (not both, too untidy),

Furniture that doesn't match! By this i mean do not buy tv stand, sideboard, coffee table and bookcase all purchased from next or oak furnitureland from the same range. It looks sterile to me. Mix it up a bit with painted or upcycled furniture or slightly different materials/colours.

Lighting, preferably table lamps minimum of 3 in a sitting room.
Textures.
Colour schemes using 3 colours.
Cohesive colour scheme throughout the house.
Rugs.
Fresh smelling preferably natural.
Log burner or open fire,

Lighting, candles, cats and soft furnishings.

I am another lover of white, our last house every room was white except our bedroom which was grey (before it became mega fashionable!). Current house we've only decorated one room so far and guess what, it's white. It's the playroom though so there is a wall of books, a colourful sofa and even the glossy white cupboards are covered in the kids artwork now. But I think kid's rooms are always best white because all their stuff is so colourful and the room is really cluttered. Means my sitting room is lovely and calm though.

Don't feel you have to get rid of the white. Agree curtains might help, don't buy off the shelf curtains, get some nice fabric and have them made to fit. IKEA does cheap as chips fabric that once it is properly lined looks great or if your budget is higher JL has a good selection (or I'm addicted to Marrimekko).

Some people like clutter, personally I'd rather not have loads of pictures and stuff everywhere. But don't buy matching sets of things, think about mixing up textures, have a vase of flowers in your sitting room. I like books but they are not essential (and look best if they have plenty of space). And as a PPsaid, think about how you live in the room and make it work for that.