What makes a house feel like home?

[Brimful]

I know, sorry, not an AIBU really, but can I ask for advice how to make a house feel all homey and cosy?

It's just DH and I rattling around our place, we are both quite minimal by nature decor wise and I like white walls, neutral furniture, with splashes of colour coming from paintings, cushions, rugs.

But I can't seem to make the house feel like home. Granted, being minimal doesn't help as I hate clutter but what makes your house 'home' and not just some rooms your stuff is in?

I find it hard buying anything that doesn't have a specific purpose or use, for a long time I had to budget and only buy essentials but now I'm financially better off I can't seem to break the habit of being frugal.

Hoping for inspiration!

Books.

Lots and lots of books.

And I bit of untidiness. I can never relax in houses that are too tidy.

Thank you @QueenofmyPrinces your mums right.

Smells for me. I’m a little bit fanatical about them and they drastically change my mood. Electric wax melters make my world a happy place

I read a lot of books, but I use the library, so I don't get to keep them; if I get one as a present I read it and donate it. I have a few treasured signed books in my office...but not enough to make a cosy impact.

Maybe I should start buying and keeping them?!

Thanks so much for the advice, I'm embarrassingly writing a list of ideas!

Stuff you like?

Put the plants in nice pots - that helps too. If you choose what you like, you'll develop your own aesthetic and everything will hang together.

Books are a must.

I think people prescribing clutter and mess are missing the point really. It's not about whether or not YOU would feel relaxed in a tidy home, it's about what suits the OP. I would wager that someone who's into minimalism is not going to feel relaxed with stuff everywhere. I certainly don't! I just have a few well-chosen ornaments and the rest is about textures, colour, and lighting.

Log burner

I have a "white" house too, although that's due to choice rather than a fear of colour. It's just the style I like at the moment. Anyway, I've worked hard to make out living room cosy and it's really starting feel lovely.

I've got grey sofas with lots of cushions of varying shades of forest green, soft pink and creamy white.
Furry throws.
Copper and gold accessories.
A beautiful free standing lamp that gives off a soft warm glow.
Rug
Plants
Bookshelf/books
Lots of plants.
Photos on walls and surfaces.
A gold framed mirror.

It all works well together and our living room feels like a lovely cosy place to be on a cold night.

I can’t define what will make your place seem like a home because our tastes are different. I can say what doesn’t make a place feel like a home so far as I’m concerned and that’s the overwhelming feeling I get in places that are all plain and minimalist when I feel that putting down my bag, or sitting on the sofa is immediately messing the place up. The feeling that if I took a bunch of flowers for a gift they’d have to be just the right shape of flowers and the exact right shade, or they wouldn’t fit in. I have friends with homes like that and it’s like stepping into an advert. There’s nothing unexpected.

Our house is relaxing and cosy and feels like home to us because nothing looks out of place whether it’s brand new or from our grandparents. It’s an eclectic mix of colours and textures and everything either has its uses, is beautiful or holds memories that we cherish. It reflects various periods of our lives and always holds some surprises

Should have added that different textures and patterns help as well.

I cannot stand white and too many plants give me the vapours (I've noticed on some Home/Garden magazines and on Rightmove that people have too many fecking plants )

Reason is - my DMum is a hoarder but she also liked to collect "things" . It didn't matter if they were nice or not , just as long as it was that thing.
So - plants (dozens of them and cuttings , all over the place)
Cruet sets
Cookbooks ( part of her hoarding , stealthily getting through them . She had about 8 "Cooking with herbs" books.
Tea-Pots
Clocks - mini ones , she had over 240 of the buggers and none of them told the right time Aarrgh

She decided ( no idea why) to paint all the walls downstairs white . It looked like a hospital ward .

I have one plant , an ivy in the bathroom. It is nice there .
And two black cats who do make it homely when they chose a chair or a bed to curl up on.
And because of the cats , no flamed candles but LED flickering ones do the job .

Books. Lots of them

Got to have a cat. I don't even like cats, the leg weaving wankers, but a house seems empty without a resident purring parasite

.

I’ve been in my house 8 years and finally started doing up my hated living room this year. It’s not finished yet but I’m loving how it’s coming together.

My taste is contemporary with lots of elements of nature and the outdoors. I also love colours. So I have simple sofas in a bold colour, grasscloth wallpaper on one wall, and a mixture of sleek contemporary and grained and interesting shaped wooden furniture. Accessories have to be meaningful, so I have things with trees, art from places I love, etc. Texture and lighting make a huge difference. Keep your eyes open In unexpected places - I was donating stuff to a charity shop the other day and spotted a stunning natural stone and agate mountain sculpture that stopped me in my tracks. Needless to say, it’s now in my living room.

I‘d ditch the blinds. Those remind me doctor‘s office tbh...

Small personal items? Maybe a photo, that one super comfortable but ugly chair, a vase from your grandmother (if you own an item like that)?
Yes to the cats ;)

The blinds have to stay! Hard to describe accurately but we're overlooked and the blinds offer an elemnt of privacy while not losing much-needed light coming in (during daylight hours).

I will definitely be adding curtains, though. Can anyone suggest a style of curtain for a living room? Thick, thin, short, long to the floor? I have two very large windows in the living room (facing each other) on the front and back of the house - should the curtains match?

Cats

Reading every day cats I realise I have zero desire to have a cat. Maybe it’s because I have a toddler who hugs my legs.

Reading this... not sure what happened there

Google "minimalist hygge" images to get some inspiration for how to combine cosiness with simplicity.

You need to put things on your walls that aren't just prints. Photographs, original art .. l things that say something about your life, your travels, your family.

Lots of texture, in the form of curtains, cushions etc. Lots of different plants, to give life to your room.

Try not to match everything either. We have white walls, but a warm wooden floor, one brown leather sofa, one tapestry. Heavy grey and beige curtains, a large richly-coloured rug.

Minimalist and spartan are fine for hotels, but don't really work for homes, as you've obviously discovered.

Lamps make a big difference. Fucking hate the big light.

Blankets. We have tons of them on the sofa. We use them all the time. Feels weird if we don’t!

@Brimful Definitely go for floor length curtains. Shorter ones always look like a rental cottage imo. Don't have to be identical, especially if you are zoning the room to have distinctly different areas (eg sitting v dining or relaxing v studying) but the colours do need to work together and if you choose a pattern for one end, I'd go for a plain curtain that picks out one of the pattern colours at the other end.