What makes a house feel like home?

[Brimful]

I know, sorry, not an AIBU really, but can I ask for advice how to make a house feel all homey and cosy?

It's just DH and I rattling around our place, we are both quite minimal by nature decor wise and I like white walls, neutral furniture, with splashes of colour coming from paintings, cushions, rugs.

But I can't seem to make the house feel like home. Granted, being minimal doesn't help as I hate clutter but what makes your house 'home' and not just some rooms your stuff is in?

I find it hard buying anything that doesn't have a specific purpose or use, for a long time I had to budget and only buy essentials but now I'm financially better off I can't seem to break the habit of being frugal.

Hoping for inspiration!

Yes to the floor length curtains.

They need to be the same style, length and fabric.
But they don't necessarily need to be the same colour / pattern. At least imo.

OP, do you and your DH go on holiday much? DH and I love picking up original artwork from places we've stayed - some art deco posters from Paris, some gorgeous original artwork for a 1930s ad campaign in London, woodblock prints from Japan etc. Not only do we like them but to us they hold happy memories too I think that;s part of what makes a home.

Cats eating the plants from behind the curtains and knocking them off onto the big, fluffy rug before wandering off to scratch up the sisal stair carpet or the solid wood kitchen table (waxed to be a darker brown, rather than the IKEA beige it was when purchased and generally with another cat sitting on the oilcloth to silently judge the one doing the scratching). Lamps and attractive light fittings. Artwork that has colours that contrast but still pick up similar tones to other items.

Freedom of movement/ergonomics. The bins are in the places where you need to dispose of rubbish, the surface for putting a mug is the perfect height and distance from where you sit, the shoes and coats go where you actually stop and take them off, the general crud you walk in with has a place where stuff would be dumped anyway.

Lack of visual noise - my eyes relax when I'm indoors because I've not got anything that would be jarring, such as a thousand different colours.

Buying things that are 'right', not that 'will do'. I dislike my coffee table and side table because they were bought to 'make do', rather than ones I wanted.

You definitelyneed curtains. Blinds can look very officey sometimes. And lamps to alter the lighting as pp suggested.

Bit of texture on your cushions, throws and Rugs?And I might chance a bit of colour on a few walls maybe.

a dog

I'll start looking for floor length curtains for the living room - thank you!

OP, do you and your DH go on holiday much?

We're lucky enough to travel quite a bit but unsurprisingly although I like looking at souvenirs I rarely buy any!

I do have lots of photos but thought my own framed photos might look cheesy? I do sell my photos as stock so I suppose it's like having my work on the walls which feels odd!

For me it’s stuff like log fire, lots of books, soft blankets and cushions, nice lamps

Oh and heavy blanket lined good curtains ( it’s cold where I live)

You just need a Basset Hound and you'll be sorted

Honestly, while there might be some good changes you can make to the decor of the house, what will make it feel like a home is, well, living there. Sharing lovely times with friends and family, having positive memories, even imperfections that come from being lived in. Just relax, throw some parties, invite people round, enjoy time with your partner, and it'll soon be home.

Also, for me, having things that I've made in the house is crucial to feeling at home there.

I do have lots of photos but thought my own framed photos might look cheesy? I do sell my photos as stock so I suppose it's like having my work on the walls which feels odd!

What? Are you totally bananas?!?! Of course put your own work on the walls! What an amazing resource! Be proud of yourself, woman!

William Morris Quotes. Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful
I try and live by this quote,

When you buy curtains don't make them white ones!

Just relax, throw some parties, invite people round, enjoy time with your partner, and it'll soon be home

Aw I would love nothing more than that! Having a home filled family and friends is my dream. Sadly I don't have family and my few friends live abroad. I tried making new friends locally but it's harder than dating! It's just me and DH :(

@VaguelySensible thank you! Honestly it had never occured to me to display photos of my own, I just asked DH what he thought and he loves the idea :)

@DappledThings busted

You should put up your own photos 100%

Dogs

I've got lots of throws in soft fabrics like velvet and jersey, velvet cushions and velvet sofa all in jewel colours. Velvet is, of course completely incompatible with dogs

And also fairy lights - I've got loads of them. Totally addicted and I love it.

A fire, candles, lighting, rugs, long curtains (again!) and squishy cushions.

Music. Singing, no matter how bad. Incense, essential oils and nice candles. Books. Cross-stitch. The smell of baking bread. The laughter of friends and family.

Cats if you can bear them, or a dog. (Some of my friends like the idea of them but don't like the mess.) Cushions and throws. Family photos or places that were special. Plants. A few signature nice pieces on a dresser if you're both fairly minimalist. Or look at some Japanese style pieces. (NOT Marie Kondo's "Emporium of Things I Told You To Throw Out Because You Didn't Buy Them From Me" though.) Things not necessarily being matchy matchy. Decent lighting.

Of course it all depends if you've bought it as an actual home or with a view to selling it on in a few years to make a massive profit . And pretty much everything at the moment in modern houses seems to be grey and white with cream carpets just like ten to fifteen years ago it was all laminate or wood floors with cream walls and magnolia carpets and at the turn of the millennium it was all lilac white and silver. Lord knows what it'll be in 15 years' time!

I suppose the only answer (which won't appeal to a Minimalist) is: clutter.

Warmth. So rugs on hard floors, comfy carpet, soft furnishings. Decent lighting. I can't bear the 'big' lights being on.

Oh and the smell.
I generally hate the vast majority of home fragrances. But even something like a clove spiked orange, burning a honey wax candle or some nice flowers make a major difference imo.

Not those curtains imo. They're white and look a bit stiff...
I personally feel like thick curtains have a homier feel.

(those particular curtain remind me of a shower curtain, tbh. Idk why but they honestly do.)

And yes, putting your own photos up is a great idea imo.

4 dogs

And a wooden curtain rod might look homier than a metal one as well.

Good luck with your project, OP :)