What makes a house feel like home?

[Brimful]

I know, sorry, not an AIBU really, but can I ask for advice how to make a house feel all homey and cosy?

It's just DH and I rattling around our place, we are both quite minimal by nature decor wise and I like white walls, neutral furniture, with splashes of colour coming from paintings, cushions, rugs.

But I can't seem to make the house feel like home. Granted, being minimal doesn't help as I hate clutter but what makes your house 'home' and not just some rooms your stuff is in?

I find it hard buying anything that doesn't have a specific purpose or use, for a long time I had to budget and only buy essentials but now I'm financially better off I can't seem to break the habit of being frugal.

Hoping for inspiration!

Me and my DH met over 9 years ago and the house we live in the same house he bought many years before he even met me.

Even though we’ve been together so long, we are married and have two children, it still doesn’t feel like “home” because it is never the kind of house I would have chosen to live in if we’d been house hunting together. It’s a strange feeling.

I keep trying to convince him we should move house so we can live in a house that we chose together, so that I can make decisions and choices about the kind of house I want to live in, because only then will it really feel like it is my home too.

it feels impersonal, the owners personalities and history are completely absent

Yeah I think this is how you'd describe my house! I love bright and airy, and I'm not confident with decor so I just choose white...

Kitchen cabinets? White. Tiles? White. Kettle & toaster? White. Blinds? White. Sofa: Grey! Throw? Fluffy grey.

I do have colourful abstract prints framed on the wall, though and bright cushions!

Thanks all.

I know what you mean as we are in the same position but what is helping is:

Cat
Plants
Fabrics like throws and curtains
Art on walls
A few books
Clock
Mirror

Other than that what we have is functional but with things like the light switch pull in the bathroom, the coat hooks and drawer knobs we have gone for things with a personal twist.

When a room is too perfect, too pristine, too ordered, then to me it lacks cosiness. It may be elegant and beautiful, but it is unwelcoming.

If a surface is completely clear, or has one perfectly positioned ornament on it, then you cannot put something down on it because that would spoil the balance. If a sofa is white, then you cannot sit on it for fear of leaving a smear of grime.

I have a Swedish friend who loves white walls, pale floors and pale furniture. She's not minimalist but hates clutter. Her house is full of little touches of colour and art, everything neatly in its place. She has colourful rugs on her pale gray floorboards, colourful throws on the backs of her sofas. Some things - like cups, picture frames etc - are perfect matching sets, others are mix-n-match. Sometimes she rings the changes by putting the, say, pastel throws and cushions away, replacing them with the warm autumn-toned ones for a few months.

I find her house very beautiful, elegant, comfortable and welcoming. (I aspire to it, but doubt I'd achieve it - I'm too disorganised!)

it still doesn’t feel like “home” because it is never the kind of house I would have chosen to live in if we’d been house hunting together. It’s a strange feeling

I think you've got a really good point. I love the layout/size of my house but I absolutely hate the location. After four years there I don't feel settled at all, I hate coming home walking up to it.

I look at Rightmove so much I could class it as a hobby.

Soft furnishings, candles, flowers, and the dog.

So all I need is a trip to Ikea, Dunelm, Waterstones and the local animal rescue

Soft sensual textures. The advice about lighting and curtains will help, but also varied fabrics such as velvet, wool, silk and sheepskin, and rugs. To make somewhere feel like home, a bowl of fruit can help, or a vase of flowers as a finishing touch.

I was just going to ask how long you'd been there, as I think it can take a while to put your own stamp on a place, but four years should be long enough really...

If you hate being there because of the location, I don't think it will ever really feel like home. What is it about the location that you don't like - is it not a nice area, or is it a bit characterless and bland, or is it not very convenient for work, amenities etc? I felt that way about a rental place I lived in once, it was a terraced house that was exactly like every other house on the street, there were rats running around the road during the day, and it was a 20 minute walk to get anywhere. If I could have decorated and furnished it to my liking I'm sure it would have been more homely, but it was a rental so I wasn't allowed. I never felt that happy there unfortunately, and I moved as soon as I could.

If moving isn't an option, I really think you have to ditch the white and try to warm things up a bit. You don't have to go for bold colours, but a warm cream or white with a hint of yellow looks so much more inviting. I have a sort of buttercream colour in my living room with one beige wall, yellow in the hallway, and a pale terracotta in the south-facing bedroom which has a real warm glow in the sunlight. I replaced the metal slatted blinds that the previous owner had left behind with floor-length brown curtains and put down lots of rugs. It's like my safe haven now and people often comment on how cosy and welcoming it is.

Big colourful rugs make a big difference.

A cat. Ours died on Monday & our house is now so soulless 😔

Lots of things! I'd find white walls and minimalism too cold to feel homely. In my house the warmth comes from warm colours of paint and wallpaper (I love wallpaper and think it is much more homely than paint), lighting - lamps and all bulbs to be warm white not cool white, fabric (curtains, cosy sofas, carpets, rugs), books, mirrors, lovely furniture not just white Ikea stuff, warmth (as in heating) and importantly cleanliness! Cold and dirty houses are the least homely IMO.

Books, paintings, heavy curtains, an open fireplace or log burner, fresh flowers, and a cat or dog snoozing somewhere. One or two things things that are old (an occasional table, a one-off armchair or a small bookcase) add character to a home, even if everything else is modern. (Caveat: if your house is modernist, as opposed to just modern, you have to be careful with this or it will spoil the look)

And colour plays a part too. I think it's hard to make a house feel welcoming if everything is neutral. If all your stuff is neutral, get some colour in there with warm-toned or bright curtains and cushions and maybe a striking piece of studio pottery or glass.

If you must have white use a clever one, my favourite it’s f&b Wimborne

Lighting

Fabrics & Textures

Curtains

Plants/flowers

An animal

I have zero curtains up! Only (white!) venetian blinds in all rooms. That can't be helping?

Venetian blinds are the work of the devil. Hide them behind curtains or get rid.

Soft lighting; lamps.

Different textures and fabrics.
Photos and objects which are meaningful.

Not having everything brand new and matching.

It always seems so welcoming and homely when a home could only possibly belong to the people living there. I hate the cold showhome look.

1. Having people you love to visit/stay.

1. Memories.

I am moving towards a minimal life.

I will have very few surfaces but as lots of pp say, lighting and curtains play a huge role in creating a relaxing atmosphere.

I think the best houses are ones that have not been designed to feel like home but ARE home. Lived in with personal touches.

Warmth, nice smells, lighting. But decoration wise the two most important things by far if you want cosy are texture and lighting.

Cats and dogs are not home furnishing accessories! Only get a pet if you really want one and know what is involved, and can afford the time/committment/vet bills.

And you really don't need lots of stuff to make a room feel cosy. I'm just finishing off our bedroom after being stuck with a very boring and dated one for the past ten years. There's not much in it really but the soft carpet, bedding, throws, curtains, chair fabrics all add different textures and the old art deco furniture pieces from ebay add interest. I have lamps in various places, a couple of beautiful plants and that's about it. The room looks really cosy without being full of stuff.

Yeah... was gonna say, it's nice to have pets, but only if you have the time and inclination for one, not just to brighten the place up a bit!