About international men’s day blog

[Pumpkinspicewhatever]

I work for a big bank. We have an active company intranet and various blogs go up at different points in the calendar from the great and the good of the company. Most recently for international men’s day.
This blogs opening gambit was “did you know 1 in 3 men have experienced domestic violence?” (And no source to back this up) followed by a fact about how suicide rates are 3x higher for men than women.
Now I have no problem in theory with international men’s day and the associated celebrating good male role models etc, which is the main thrust of what my company seems to be doing. But to lead with a fact about men being common victims of DV (I can’t find the 1 in 3 statistic from a quickish google) feels really blind and inappropriate. DV across the world is more a problem for women than men. Surely this is universally accepted? Can’t they lead with anything more positive for IMD than misrepresenting what is a devastating social problem (more so for women?)
Not sure, but this didn’t sit well with me. I wish they had led with something else. I’ve asked the writer to clarify their source as well.

"1 in 4 women will experience DV in their lifetime."
"It’s not really a large proportion though is it? It’s a [less than a] third."

Is that what you think, OP?

Most of the international mens day stuff I see is just moaning about women.

NONE of the stuff I saw was 'moaning about women'

they chose to highlight it completely wrongly. They did not get the statistic correct and overrepresented the amount of men who have become victims of DV, to make a good headline.

I think it was more likely an error.

@Hont1986 The point is that statistic reflects the entire general population. The statistic this blog incorrectly cited, concerned the number of victims of reported DV (of which men are 1 in 3).
When 1 in 4 women will experience DV and 1 in 9 men will (another general population statistic) I still see that as a largely gendered issue.

Can you type btl comments on the blog? Maybe something like: yes it's awful about the domestic abuse- did you know that Marvin Gaye was shot dead by his own father when he finally objected to a lifetime of bullying behaviour and abuse inflicted by Marvin Snr on his wife and children?

Thus expressing sympathy with a male victim whilst (not so subtly) pointing out that the perpatrators of abuse directed at males are usually other males.

It is definitely a gendered issue - 1 in 4 women, and 1 in 8 men (actually somewhere between 1 in 7 and 1 in 8), but that doesn't mean that a third is an insignificant or trivial amount.

Given that I think this is the first time this year I have even heard of a male-focused DV campaign/awareness-raising, I think it's fine.

Given that I think this is the first time this year I have even heard of a male-focused DV campaign/awareness-raising, I think it's fine.

This is the point. The statistics about male suicide etc. are well documented but the rates of DV less so which is why it is good to raise awareness of this issue. There is significantly less coverage and less support for male victims and it doesn't do any harm to raise awareness that "this happens to blokes too" and, more importantly that it shouldn't be a reason for shame or ridicule.

Thus expressing sympathy with a male victim whilst (not so subtly) pointing out that the perpatrators of abuse directed at males are usually other males.

But why do this? It doesn't need to be pointed out. It's just whataboutism and I hate seeing that done by men on articles about women so I'd never lower myself to doing it, it's pretty pathetic.

I have two minds about this. I agree it is appropriate to flag this on IMD, that’s the point. And many members of the general population would have no idea that 1/3 of victims are men - that is a significant proportion. We don’t need to minimise the issues facing women, by acknowledging those facing men, it’s not one or the other, which it feels like you may be saying when you are calling it a ‘feminist issue’. Feminism benefits men and women, doesn’t ignore men, IMO.

However, I would be interested to see more of a breakdown in stats like this about the spectrum of types of domestic abuse. Ie 2 women a week being killed by male partners, I would be really shocked to hear if there was anything remotely close in the stats around women killing males.

In a way, it’s not comparing like with like, as yes, while men are victims in surprisingly
Large numbers, men tend to be physically stronger and more violent than women.

@Merename:

"A third of women were killed by their partner or ex-partner (33%, 63 homicides) in the year ending March 2018. ... In contrast, only 1% of male victims aged 16 years or over were killed by their partner or ex-partner (seven homicides)."

I was surprised to see that the '2 women a week' statistic is now more like '1 woman a week', very good news.

I thought every day was international men's day

@Vulpine

Obviously not based on the statistics

Last time i looked, most positions of power and influence in this world are still held by men

But why do this? It doesn't need to be pointed out.

Well if the bulk of the male victims of domestic violence, particularly severe injury or death, are boys getting the lights beaten out of them by abusive fathers or stepfathers then it helps to identify who is inflicting the violence to try to stop it. There does seem to be under-reporting: if you look up "famous victims of domestic violence" the ones reported as being abused by their fathers as children are famous women. I imagine sons get battered by their fathers at at least the same rate as daughters but it doesn't get talked about. You sometimes see men comment, "Our father was a strict disciplinarian and an alcoholic and I felt bad that I couldn't stop him beating our mother". Reading between the lines I bet that means "he beat the shite out of us kids too, including me, but boys don't cry..."

@Vulpine

And what exactly does that have to do with DV, Suicide and the other issues raised by IMD?

Obviously I could do the cliched thing and roll off a long list of women in high-power positions but it's moot as that is not what IMD (or indeed IWD) is about. It's about recognising issues affecting a group in society.

PBo83 do you think male violence is an issue affecting groups in society?

@Pumperthepumper

Yes. But that isn't what this thread was about.

International women's day celebrates the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. Doesnt every day already do that for men?

But if you agree that male violence is a problem, do you not feel it would be worth highlighting that on IMD?

A minority of domestic violence victims are men. Usually the partners thumping them are male too.

International women's day celebrates the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. Doesn't every day already do that for men?

Not any more so than women.

But if you agree that male violence is a problem, do you not feel it would be worth highlighting that on IMD?

Not really. If IWD is about celebrating women's achievements in various fields whilst highlighting the issues women face then IMD should be the same. Not everything to do with men has to be negative.

A minority of domestic violence victims are men. Usually the partners thumping them are male too.

The highest rates (proportionally) of domestic violence amongst female same-sex couples.

That’s not what you said though:

that is not what IMD (or indeed IWD) is about. It's about recognising issues affecting a group in society.

So surely, since men are the biggest perpetrators of male violence (both to men and women) surely that would be worth highlighting when the spotlight is on men? Think how many victims that would help.

I'm sure the Samaritans will be sure to let the callers know the good news that every day is International Men's Day.

*IS amongst