I know a lady who used to go out with a close friend (lots of double dating and holiday with both partners), we stayed in contact as my friend treated her fairly badly and I helped her through some tough times.
We also got back in contact as we had both been referred for fertility treatment.
She began her IVF journey sometime before me. I was able to go for iui and we spoke about our experiences via FB messenger. It was really great to have someone to share this with that understood.
Friend told me that her final IVF had failed (she can not afford anymore) around the same time I was prepping for my first iui treatment.
We had a heart to heart and I supported her (again just via messenger, we never met up). She wished me well on my journey and said to me to please keep her updated on my iui and she is really routing for me.
I didn't update her, we stopped talking - I figured she was grieving and so there was no way I was going to discuss my excitement/nerves etc.
Anyway, I am now 12 weeks pregnant and we have not spoken once since the last conversation.
I am due to announce my pregnancy tomorrow, we have mutual friends so she will find out. However I really want to do this sensitively but am terrified it will be a trigger for her. We often talked about how great it would be if we both got pregnant at the same time and I think whatever way she finds out she will be hurt.
If I try to keep it secret from her i.e. don't tell her then that would be rude. If I do tell her before anyone else, will I come across as gloating? I just don't want to hurt her feelings but also know she will find out eventually.
My friend (her ex) has got a wicked side and I worry that if I tell friend, friend will take great delight in telling her.
She went through IVF as a single woman but has since met someone and seems happy but I do worry.
What do you think? Am I overthinking this?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
AIBU to tell infertile friend about pregnancy first?
88 replies
SmoothOrange · 21/11/2019 10:42
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.