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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is my friend regarding evening meal times?

242 replies

BoxtheRight · 20/11/2019 20:38

We’re in conflict about what time of day most people eat their evening meals.

She thinks that your last meal of the day should be around 6:30pm, with anything after 7 being far too late.

I think around 8pm is normal, and anything before 7 is far too early.

For context, neither of us have kids, and both start work at 9am.

Who IBU?

Me - YABU, anything after 7pm is too late
Her - YANBU, anything before 7pm is too early

OP posts:
littlepeas · 21/11/2019 17:45

I think eating earlier is a healthier habit - your body has longer to fast and recover overnight and you sleep better as well.

doublebarrellednurse · 21/11/2019 17:49

We tend to eat later on, after 8pm definitely. It's most comfortable for us as a family. My family growing up ate at this time as well, husband found it odd at first but now prefers it.

We eat. We relax. We sleep. Beautiful.

The "science" of weight gain because it has been proven bollocks a number of times too.

Countryescape · 21/11/2019 18:23

Well each to their own. Can’t stand eating too early though. My brother and his wife start preparing meals for their kids at 4.30!!! It’s absolutely ridiculous. They’ve usually finished eating at about 5.15pm. Most people aren’t even home by then!!

GoGoLego · 21/11/2019 18:34

Week anytime between 6:30 & 7

Weekend we tend to have 3 courses which start at 7:30 and finish at 10. Slightly later than this on a Friday. Which is normally fine but if I've had a long day at work my stomachs gone to bed and I don't have much of an appetite after 8:30

puppymouse · 21/11/2019 18:38

I ear around 6/6.30 from choice but usually it's nearer 7.30/8 because we put DD to bed first. I hate going to bed feeling full.

Will0wtree · 21/11/2019 18:58

You might be getting muddled results with the voting as you've switched what you think.

She thinks ... after 7... too late."
I think... before 7 ... too early.

Me - YABU, after 7pm too late

Her - YANBU, before 7pm too early

OctoberLovers · 21/11/2019 19:03

About 7.30/ 8pm i reckon on average

Me and partner have very different eating / sleeping patterns so only eat together a couple of times a month.

I would normally eat dinner about 6pm if alone. But does depend if i have eaten anything else that day, i may not have lunch till 3pm. So wouldnt eat dinner till 9 or maybe skip all together {Not very helpful} 🤣

runoutofideasnow · 21/11/2019 19:05

Normal for us is 5/5.30 as we eat with our 3yo and working hours allow for it.

Prior to that it depended on if I went to the gym after work or not. 6 if I didn't and 7 if I did.

runoutofideasnow · 21/11/2019 19:07

Well each to their own. Can’t stand eating too early though. My brother and his wife start preparing meals for their kids at 4.30!!! It’s absolutely ridiculous. They’ve usually finished eating at about 5.15pm. Most people aren’t even home by then!!

Why is it ridiculous if it suits them?

TerrorMirabilis · 21/11/2019 19:12

This is one of the things I love about living in the US - everyone eats so early. Suits me to a T.

pallisers · 22/11/2019 01:14

This is one of the things I love about living in the US - everyone eats so early. Suits me to a T.

So funny. It is one of the things I hate about living in the US :)

Elbowedout · 22/11/2019 02:10

7.30- 8pm is average for us, though it does vary according to what activities the kids have on. When I was growing up my mum was a SAHM and she always had the evening meal ready at 5.30pm as Dad cane home from work then. That wouldn't work in our house as I am normally either still at work or taking one of the children somewhere at that time . I'm currently on long term sick leave so we could
eat earlier at the moment but I've just stuck to our normal times as it is what everyone is used to. Another factor is that my MIL isn't British and in her country of birth it is normal to eat late. So my DH was brought up eating at 8pm or later. There is currently one day a week when we have to eat at about 5.30 to accommodate our son's sports training and DH always moans that that is afternoon tea not an evening meal!

nakedavengeragain · 22/11/2019 07:55

@littlepeas that totally depends on when you go to bed and when you next eat. I eat at 8pm, go to bed at 12/1 am and I eat next at 12/1 pm the next day. What difference does it make?

Rubyupbeat · 22/11/2019 08:03

As long as you have a 12 hour gap between dinner and breakfast, it doesn't matter what time your last meal is.
Before anyone says that's wrong, that is what my dietian told me.

Waveysnail · 22/11/2019 08:12

6.00pm in our house

Countryescape · 22/11/2019 08:13

@runoutofideasnow because they try to FaceTime everyone at 5.30/6ish when every one else in our extended family is preparing dinner(They then get annoyed we arent available) and when we all get together they try to enforce their dinner time. I also think it’s extremely rigid and doesn’t allow for BBQs, catchups and a relaxed summer with others. They are SUPER uptight about it.

U2HasTheEdge · 22/11/2019 08:15

It’s absolutely ridiculous. They’ve usually finished eating at about 5.15pm. Most people aren’t even home by then!!

So because most people aren't home by then they shouldn't eat early?

I eat early because I don't tend to eat during the day. My dh cooks when I am at work so if I am late home I just warm it up. That way we can get the kitchen cleaned (no dishwasher) and then relax for the rest of the evening. Eating later would mean less time for relaxing together in the evening.

If I was to eat at 8pm by the time everything is done it would be time to go to bed.

madcatladyforever · 22/11/2019 08:19

I can't sleep after eating a heavy meal. I eat my main meal at lunchtime at work and have a small snack rather than a meal when I get home around 6. Eating after 7 would murder my digestion.

NameChangeNugget · 22/11/2019 08:35

She sounds very narrow minded.

She clearly doesn’t commute or go to the gym

userabcname · 22/11/2019 08:41

We eat around 5pm and always have, even pre-DC. Stops us snacking when we get in from work and I prefer to go to bed on a fairly empty stomach as otherwise I get heartburn. I don't know how people wait until after 7pm - I'd be ravenous!

userabcname · 22/11/2019 08:41

We eat around 5pm and always have, even pre-DC. Stops us snacking when we get in from work and I prefer to go to bed on a fairly empty stomach as otherwise I get heartburn. I don't know how people wait until after 7pm - I'd be ravenous!

Elbeagle · 22/11/2019 08:54

I don't know how people wait until after 7pm - I'd be ravenous!

Depends when you have your lunch I guess. I have lunch around 2-3pm, so wouldn’t be hungry for dinner at 5!

adaline · 22/11/2019 08:57

I don't know how people wait until after 7pm - I'd be ravenous!

Lots of people don't have a choice! I don't get in from work until 7pm - my lunch break is between 12-1pm and I don't have time for anything more than a banana or a biscuit mid-afternoon.

By the time I've got home, had a shower, cooked and sat down it's normally coming up to 8pm. I hate it and don't eat that late on my days off, but I don't really have much say in the matter!

daisypond · 22/11/2019 09:05

Surely most don’t have much choice. It depends when they get in from work. I’m not back home after until after 6.30.

Loveislandaddict · 22/11/2019 17:26

“Well each to their own. Can’t stand eating too early though. My brother and his wife start preparing meals for their kids at 4.30!!! It’s absolutely ridiculous. They’ve usually finished eating at about 5.15pm. Most people aren’t even home by then!!”

Why ridiculous? I have teens and quite often we eat at 5.15pm. It means we have the evening free to do what we want.