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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not really want to work anymore?

609 replies

caranconnor · 20/11/2019 19:30

I am 50 and although I have enjoyed working in the past, I would prefer never to work again. I feel I have done enough. It is not an option, I have to work for another 17 years. But anyone else feel like this?

OP posts:
HeyNotInMyName · 22/11/2019 17:27

The key part of retirement is whatever you do is voluntary.
as long as you are healthy enough to do things (or the things you enjoy) and you have the money to do so....

Having been ill (as in unable to do much etc etc), I know that having the luxury not having to go to work isnt a luxury when you struggle to do anything eg I would have struggle to do a day out, still do to some extend in that I can do a day with my 75yo parents but would struggle to follow anyone my age... Adapt that to someone older with arthritis in their knees and you can easily see that their world aorund them has got much smaller. Doing whatever you want isnt exactky whatever you want. It's doing whatever you can....

Snog · 22/11/2019 17:27

Anyone with health issues is likely to struggle to get properly assessed by the DWP as they turn down huge numbers of people with serious medical problems which mean they are unable to work.

It's also much harder to get early retirement on health grounds even when you are clearly unable to work. Lots of people are falling between the cracks and unable to work yet also unable to access funding from the state.

If you can't access sickness benefits and aren't fit enough for work what exactly do you do? You would be permanently sanctioned for JSA.

I think this is a growing problem as more and more people are unable to work or at least to work full time or in certain jobs up to age 67.

HeyNotInMyName · 22/11/2019 17:30

Fwiw this is where I appreciate to be self employed because I can decide at time what I am starting my day, how I am working etc....

I have to deal with the no holidays, no pension, unstability etc... though. Thats not for everyone

SecondaryBurnzzz · 22/11/2019 17:33

My job (at a university) offers a lot of training, so I am learning about all sorts of cool stuff. I'm doing a presentation skills course, NLP and career counselling, and it has made me realise that I need to really up my game. My plan is to revamp my cv, look for new opportunities, and try to get one decently paid last job that I will love. I have, for years, gone for pretty lowly jobs because I hadn't felt worthy, but now I know I need to stop prevaricating and really go for it.
I was out of work for 3 months two years ago, and I have to say I hated it. I didn't do anything apart from mope around the house and look at the internet, maybe having a small sleep in the afternoon. I was so bored, and felt so useless. I really am happy to work for another 20 years, as long as it's with nice people, doing something I believe in.

Figmentofmyimagination · 22/11/2019 18:03

I’m tired too - and with a long commute - 56 - not very successful - disappointing - lonely job - too late to change - the loneliness is exhausting sometimes. Today was planning to cheer myself up with late night trip to new Troy exhibition at British museum, but when I got to the station to decide - museum or home - I was so exhausted (that feeling you used to get if you were revising all day on your own for an exam) - that I just got on the train to go home and watch tv....

SecondaryBurnzzz · 22/11/2019 18:09

@figment that sounds sad . Does your company offer hot-desking so you can move around the offices a bit more? Are you able to work from home one day a week? Commuting is exhausting and in the winter it must be much harder.

I listen to R4 through headphones at work and it's the only thing that keeps me sane! I feel like I have learnt something every day.

Movinghouseatlast · 22/11/2019 18:24

Oh my word! Yes, yes, yes.

I have become very cynical and totally unable to fake it any more. I still love what I actually do, it's all the shit around it I cannot take any more. The politics, the corporate bullshit, not being able to say what you think.

I am self employed. I went away on holiday and while I was away briefed someone to cover what I do (I'm a kind of corporate trainer) Also while I was away the client I work for was replaced. The new client went to observe the training course being delivered by me and 4 others. She hated the product and trainers apart from 'my' bit being covered by my stand in. She pulled the whole course- leaving everyone out of pocket on a project contracted for the next 6 months. She then said she wanted only 'my' bit of the training, covered by my stand in, she only wants my stand in involved! She never met me, my stand in was delivering my material that I wrote. None of this matters apparently.

So I am accidentally retired now I think. I cant be arsed with any of it any more.

I am.VERY lucky as I have recently moved and set up a little holiday let business at my new home. We are now going to expand it with some camping pods which should increase our income enough so that we can survive and be poor but hopefully happy! My partner was always going to have the holiday let's as his job, but now we are both going to do it.

The corporate world can fuck off to the far side of fuck.

Sarcelle · 22/11/2019 18:30

I just want to run my life by my own agenda and timetable, rather than setting the alarm for stupid o clock to commute to a job I loathe in an area I loathe. I had a year off once (planned after a redundancy payout), I loved not setting an alarm clock. I was living in central London at the time. Best year of my life. I was as fit as fuck. I went all over. Used to go to the cinema and theatre in the afternoon, museums, boat trips on the Thames, catching trains all over. Read loads. Walked loads. No stress, no colds, no rushing. I was late 30s. My version of a gap year.

HepzibahGreen · 22/11/2019 18:37

That sounds amazing Sarcelle

Inliverpool1 · 22/11/2019 19:43

I did the same, grabbed the kids and worked as an au pair up a mountain in Queensland. It was bloody marvellous tbh. Lots of grey nomads house and pet sitting their way around Australia. But again 100% easier if you’re in
A couple and physically fit

Dowser · 22/11/2019 20:09

Summer Breeze
Gosh you did well getting back to work at 6 weeks
My cousins aged 58 had hers done last year. Ten months later she got back to work
Really knocked her for a loop.
Scar runs from mid buttock to half way down thigh 😱
She too would give up work. She got back to work a couple of months ago..fell at work and broke her arm near shoulder...so back on sick..wondering when she’s going to get back..and what state she’ll be in . ( carer)

TowerRavenSeven · 22/11/2019 20:13

I’m 56 and have worked part time since our son went into school full time. I love it and would go bonkers without it. But I love what I do and it makes a huge difference! I hope to work until I can’t.

Dowser · 22/11/2019 20:32

Looks like Bojo isn’t going to reimburse the Waspi women ☹️

lljkk · 22/11/2019 20:44

If you guys are physically falling apart at 45-50yo, how do you think you'll be doing at 65-70yo?

KittenLedWeaning · 22/11/2019 20:47

If you guys are physically falling apart at 45-50yo, how do you think you'll be doing at 65-70yo?

That's kind of the point of the thread!

OhTheRoses · 22/11/2019 21:02

But the fact is I'm nearly 60 and love work. Started a new career at 43 and wd have been thwarted re cost of prof quals/employer commitment if I'd had to retire at 60. Working keeps me young and having my dc in my 30s keeps me young.

I think I've one more big job in me. Retire at 65ish ............perhaps.

TabbyStar · 22/11/2019 21:22

I'm 50 and have my own business, which is okay, but I do feel like I'm starting to be treated like an old person by some of the younger clients I work with, I wonder when ageism will start to affect how much work I get. I'm bored though, there's nothing else really I want to achieve, it's just doing variations on the same stuff for the money. I'd retire if I could afford it.

missyB1 · 22/11/2019 21:28

KittenLed hopefully by 65 I will be through the menopause! Also by then my youngest will be independent and more than likely have left home. So my circumstances will be different which should decrease stress and give me more time to myself.
It’s about life stages. But right now at 51 it’s all bloody hard!!

Rubyupbeat · 22/11/2019 21:35

OP I felt like you. I had a great job, with great people, but I got respectful for all the time I spent there, so, in 2007, at the age of 43, I retired.
Best thing I ever did, I love having literally all the time in the world, I love living a free from the binds LIFE!
I know I am fortunate, in that my husband has his own company, in something he loves and is amazingly well paid, so I have no guilt about not working.
Ic you can afford it and want to do it, leave! Life is too short and there is so much to do out there.

Rubyupbeat · 22/11/2019 21:35

Resentful

WeWantSweet · 22/11/2019 21:49

The traditional balance whereby older people made way for younger ones has been neutered by neo-liberal globalisation which has run roughshod over old certanties and thrown everyone into a pit of insecure competition.

plominoagain · 22/11/2019 21:59

I won’t be doing the job I do now at 65 . Response policing is physically bloody hard work , even if you’re fit . I know so many people , even really fit guys who are having knee ops in their 40’s and 50’s , all kinds of back problems , all sorts of issues brought on by crap shifts , ill fitting kit , and just plain fighting . So I’ll retire from that , and just do something else a few days a week to tick along .

Dowser · 22/11/2019 22:09

Since I’ve upped my magnesium intake, Coral calcium from the Caribbean, made sure I take vitd3 and k2
It’s helped with my tiredness.
Just a thought. Are you sure you’re all getting good nutrition.

blueshoes · 22/11/2019 22:13

I wonder if the thing about wanting to stay working vs having had enough depends on whether you have a career as opposed to merely a job.

I have a ft professional career I largely enjoy. At 50, I feel my best years are ahead of me. I have my health and teenagers and am very busy but in a happy and vaguely fulfilling way. I would like more free time but that will come soonish when the children leave home and my expenses come down and I can start to reduce my hours at work.

I don't dread another 15 years of working. It would be a privilege if I could continue to contribute at work, be intellectually stimulated by constant developments in the workplace and be well paid for it.

I would not want to go from 100% to 0% retirement. I would be one of those people who would find pottering and dipping in and out of hobbies and leisure pursuits pointless quite quickly. I want to put my skills acquired over decades to good work and keep my brain cells active.

Egghead68 · 22/11/2019 22:15

If you guys are physically falling apart at 45-50yo, how do you think you'll be doing at 65-70yo?

Well some of us will be dead, some may be largely housebound, some may actually be feeling better as they are through the menopause, some may be struggling on.