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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Singing along at a musical to cause such upset?

871 replies

cantbeatfreshsheets · 20/11/2019 14:45

I went to a musical yesterday with my parents & sister to celebrate my mums birthday. We had a really nice day & this was the last thing we had planned. Arrived a few mins late and got to our seats with no problems.

After about 20 mins in. A catchy song came on. It was Tina Turner. My mum sang along for a couple of times during the chorus. It was hard not too. The whole show was about her being oppressed. Which is exactly how we felt after what happens next.

The lady in front turned around. Looked at my mum & said could you please, then used her hand against her mouth to gesture my mum to zip it 🤐 very passive aggressive.

Mum looked at us as if to say. What the F**
Anyway. She said I'll have to speak to her at the interval. Meanwhile I just thought what a spoilsport?!?! If you can't sing along at a musical what's wrong with the world. It's not like she was singing at the top of her voice???

It resulted with the lady in front going to make a complaint about my mum as mum tapped her on the shoulder and said during the interval How dare you tell me how to behave. My mum ended up going to see the manager herself where the other women was acting like we were trying to victimise her for not being happy against us telling her it was a free country. They said we were aggressive and being unreasonable?!?!

She said. It said on the way in you can't sing. We said. Well we didn't see that notice as we were late. We ended up leaving as my mum was so cross. There was a slight scene. The other woman was behaving like a child in my opinion. Has the world has gone mad.

My sister and I told her that she had spoilt our mums birthday and She was clearly enjoying playing the victim. I think she was probably shocked we confronted her over it.

We left. Were we being unreasonable? Or has the world gone crazy? I'd love to hear you're thoughts.

OP posts:
Derbee · 21/11/2019 01:02

OP, people like you and your family have got absolutely no business being in a theatre, until you learn how to behave.

Awful

Catsandchardonnay · 21/11/2019 01:05

OMG I HATE people like you at the theatre. STFU! People pay to hear talented singers not some tuneless amateur drowning them out. And tapping her on the shoulder to have a go at her. Seriously? That’s really intimidating and aggressive. She probably paid a fortune for her tickets and you ruined it for her. Please please don’t go to the theatre again.

HauntedmessFrogbeaver · 21/11/2019 01:09

Have read the thread.

Agree with majority so not going to repeat.

But someone sat next to your soul? Confused

HauntedmessFrogbeaver · 21/11/2019 01:10

Was it a soul singer? Wink

viques · 21/11/2019 01:19

Especially galling for all the people around you who you disturbed if it was the Tina Turner musical as not only do they specifically say at the start of the show please don't dance or sing but there is a glorious last 20 minutes which is like a little Tina concert when you are allowed to join in.

Shame you missed it.

If you can't be bothered to get to the show on time and behave in a civilised way then the only people responsible for ruining your mums birthday are your rude family members.

happymrsc · 21/11/2019 01:33

Sorry but YABU. When I go to the theatre I'm spending that (not insignificant amount of) money to hear professionals singing, not to listen to expensive karaoke.

Topseyt · 21/11/2019 04:04

I consider myself a diplomatic, considered, cultured person

I think you will find that you are wrong there.

Your mum was behaving very badly and needed to be told to shut the fuck up.

christmasathome · 21/11/2019 04:27

Your mum was out if order! I love to sing along to musicals - at home! In my experience the only singing along in a theatre is done during the encore. It is completely unreasonable to spoil the show for others by singing loudly during a performance where others are watching too (cinema included). She should have realised this when asked to be quiet and not then made a scene. You both should be ashamed.

makingmammaries · 21/11/2019 04:33

It’s really uneducated to show up late, consider yourself entitled to sing along and make a scene in the interval.

christmasathome · 21/11/2019 04:35

Just got to the bit where you were 10 mins late but think you only disturbed two people who had to stand! No love, you also disturbed the few rows behind you who couldn't see the show for you walking to your seats and the two people standing plus a distraction to all around you who had been entranced in the show but then lost that feeling by the disruption you caused. You were lucky to be allowed in late, many theatres wouldn't have allowed it.?

LellyMcKelly · 21/11/2019 04:50

That poor woman. Imagine spending all that money to listen to professional singers and someone ends up squawking behind you.

Ticklemeelmo · 21/11/2019 04:51

YABVU, I recently had the Lion King musical ruined by some awful cow and her daughter sat next to us singing along and talking. They refused to stop even when we told them to be quiet AngryAngry

PhilCornwall1 · 21/11/2019 04:57

I don't think I'd have been as rude as the lady in front of you, I'd have been worse and told your mother to "shut the fuck up". If she had then tapped me on the shoulder during the interval, she'd have had "piss off" added to it.

Shockers · 21/11/2019 04:59

Your mum’s birthday was spoilt , but so was that woman’s day out.

Prevegen4U · 21/11/2019 05:18

I bet everyone was glad when you left.

MsRomanoff · 21/11/2019 05:30

So no one around your mum could hear her, but the woman in front was correct when she knew it was your mother?

You mother ruined her own birthday.

happycamper11 · 21/11/2019 05:38

(Edinburgh audiences, especially in August, are even worse - they leave half way through if you can't hold your own on stage)

You do realise the type of theatre performance being discussed in the OP is not the same as the fringe Hmm. However even then latecomers are rarely admitted

We went to see Annie at the playhouse recently and even my 6 year old seemed to know not to sing and silently mouthed along. Here was a small incident where her inflatable seat booster seemed to lose some air which caused her to be uncomfortable and wriggle. Even that was disturbing as the lady in front turned round. (She didn't look annoyed more just distracted) I swiftly swapped boosters with her far more patient sister and it was resolved. I apologised profusely to both those in front and behind at the interval. I was embarrassed that we'd disturbed even 30 seconds of the performance for them.

Also latecomers disturb the ENTIRE section . It's a complete lack of awareness to assume it's only the 2 people who ha e had to stand

Starlight456 · 21/11/2019 05:44

You do lack self awareness.

You say only 2 people stood up. You did disturb more than 2 people.

Your mum missed the signs so should of said sorry and moved in .
Instead it escalated to you all missing the performance.

It really isn’t a pop concert

Durgasarrow · 21/11/2019 05:48

Rude, rude, rude. Your family needs to 1. Get to the theater on time, 2. understand the theater is not karaoke.

SuperMeerkat · 21/11/2019 05:50

I feel bad for your mum but sadly agree that she shouldn’t have been singing. A lot of shows do sing-a-long performances so maybe look for one of those next time. (Part of the reason I love Rocky Horror as I can sing along badly!!)

Dontdisturbmenow · 21/11/2019 05:56

You do lack self awareness
That! How can you be so oblivious to the fact that you and your mum were totally in the wrong?

You/your mum:

  • arrived late and probably Disturbed people getting to your seat
  • fell to notice the signs (or more likely to into yourself to pay attention)
  • started singing to self-absorbed to consider the impact on others
  • touched a stranger aggressively
  • told a woman who was totally reasonable that she was wrong
  • complained about such strangers
  • Disturbed well behaved people
  • created a scene

Could go on....

What did that woman do wrong? Maybe she could have told your mum to be quiet in a more subtle way with a smile and a please, despite her annoyance. That's it.

If you are so self-absorbed that you really can't see how you and your mum were totally in the wrong, obnoxious, rude and unreasonable, you really need to go and talk to a professional, because even a normal 8yo would know that your mum's behaviour was wrong.

PerkyPomPoms · 21/11/2019 06:00

That lady was politer than I would have been

Stooshie8 · 21/11/2019 06:07

That lady was politer than I would have been

Ditto

tigger1001 · 21/11/2019 06:22

Op. You and your mum were in the wrong. Given you were late, you would think that your family would ensure they caused no more disruption, but alas no.

You obviously haven't read stories about performers telling people to stop singing, or getting people removed for singing. Or are their jobs "boring" too?

You were pretty lucky that the woman asked your mum to be quiet, rather than her getting a staff member to warn her. But your family then went on to make an ugly scene spoiling the evening for anyone who was stirring close to you.

LaPufalina · 21/11/2019 06:23

I went to a performance of Matilda a few years ago where it was someone's job to shush people.
I seriously considered a career change (or a bit of moonlighting) Grin

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