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The dentist struck off my 4 year old son

132 replies

Cornishcharm · 19/11/2019 17:33

Ok so, in October I had to rearrange my sons dentist appointment because it was his first parents evening. I gave a weeks notice and rearranged for November.

We were about to leave for my sons appointment and he wants to go for a poo. So I called the dentist and explained that we were going to be late (15 minutes max). I asked if he could still be seen i.e. let other patients go first or if that wasn't possible could I rearrange it.

Now I hate cancelling like that and the only other time I have had the cancel his appointment previously was when he had D&V and I wasn't able to give 24 hours notice.

The receptionist told me that I couldn't bring him as he wouldn't be seen and that he had been struck off.

We have never received and formal notice that he could be struck off.

I have submitted a formal complaint about this, which I should hear back from by the 25th November.

AIBU to think that can't strike a 4 year old off without any warning? Does anybody know what the rules are with NHS dentists (I know they operate a 2 strikes and your out).


OP posts:
Wonkybanana · 19/11/2019 20:39

I asked if he could still be seen i.e. let other patients go first

But for that to work, other patients would have to be at least 15 minutes early for their appointment, and it doesn't sound like you were planning to be early even without the poo.

Karenisbaren · 19/11/2019 20:43

This reminds me of the lady that was complaining that her child missed his school dinner because he was having a poo, (saw it in the local rag) perhaps you should have asked him if he needed the toilet before you were ready to leave?

ViciousJackdaw · 19/11/2019 20:44

Sanctimonious and smug. Ugh

No, it's not smug at all. NHS dentistry is stretched beyond limits and no-shows are a waste of time and money. The practice cannot mess up the schedule for the rest of the day just because of someone's poor planning.

As for Have any of you experienced a four year old? well those who have know full well that you give yourself plenty of extra time when planning when to leave the house as poos will be needed, shoes will be lost, strops will be thrown.

plantainchips · 19/11/2019 20:47

Not a believable excuse

Whatjusthappenedthere · 19/11/2019 20:48

I am a dental hygienist. 4 patients did not show up for their appointments today. All from the list of a dentist who does not penalise patients for failing to attend. I don’t have this problem at all with patients from the other dentists list who does add charges for lost time.
Enough said, other than you should be ashamed of yourself. You are wasting time that other patients would be far more grateful for. Angry

whiteroseredrose · 19/11/2019 20:50

Sounds like you were initially aiming to arrive just in time.

It's a good habit to get into to arrive at least 15 mins early for an appointment. If you'd done that your DS would have had the urge as you arrived and could have pooed while you waited. Or you could have dealt with the unexpected poo and still arrived on time.

We always arrived 20 - 30 mins early for primary school which meant that I had time to nip home if we'd forgotten something (like non-uniform day!) and still be back before the bell rang.

Whatjusthappenedthere · 19/11/2019 20:51

And while I’m here. How do you know if later patients are already waiting! Honestly, your self centred attitude is mind blowing. If everyone had your attitude we may as well throw away our appointment books and just see who turns up when then can be bothered. Confused

Angie6868 · 19/11/2019 20:52

You were being unreasonable saying at the last minute you'd be 15 minutes late. Not trying to be harsh but you need to be better organized and leave earlier. I'm not surprised he was struck off

itsgettingweird · 19/11/2019 20:53

Ashamed - really HmmShock

Well I hope the next time one of your patients from the list who charges comes in with d and v because they don't want to risk being struck off.
Then what? You are off for 3-4 days and dentist cancels and patients move elsewhere due to constant cancelled appointments and dentist loses money. Then what? Your job is at risk.

And 4yo don't often know they did a BM until they need it. I could tell my ds at 4 to go to loo before we left home. 5 minutes later he could then need a BM.

We are taking a 4yo child - not a robot Hmm

Whatjusthappenedthere · 19/11/2019 21:01

D and V is one of the biggest fattest lies told by most people who cannot take responsibility for themselves to get to appointments.

I can look down my list at the start of a day and have a good idea who’s going to have D and V Today. Grin

MadameButterface · 19/11/2019 21:01

The d&v gets a pass obviously. It’s just those of us who work in positions where people have to get to us at specific times can generally tell the sort of person who invariably has some sort of unavoidable crisis happening and expects others to be inconvenienced vs those with genuine emergencies. The d&v happened - fair enough. Then the next go around the appointment was messed about with and put back and then they no showed at the last minute. That puts them firmly in the category of being That Client imo. You get a feel for it.

Thestrangestthing · 19/11/2019 21:03

You cancelled 3 times, you are wasting their time.

ChicCroissant · 19/11/2019 21:06

Whatjust my NHS dentist started charging a deposit for the private hygienist appointments because of the number of no-shows. Paying £20 upfront tends to improve the attendance rate!

The OP has changed appointments 3 times - once for D&V, once for parents evening and once for the toilet - the toilet was the rearranged parents evening appt.

There will be signs up in the practice about missed appointments, OP. They are not obliged to take on any patient and can ask anyone who misses appointments to find another dentist. I hope the appeal goes well OP.

Whatjusthappenedthere · 19/11/2019 21:07

I will never be out of a job. Far to busy for that. An appointment can be rebooked almost instantly by an automated text sent to patients on the waiting list. The only time clinical time is wasted is when someone doesn’t turn up and the text isn’t sent.

BrendasUmbrella · 19/11/2019 21:12

Take it as a lesson. Don't assume you can leave your house aiming to arrive right on time for an appointment. Always factor in a 15 minute buffer.

MadameButterface · 19/11/2019 21:13

WhatJust i am not a dentist, i am a hairdresser but i too can magically divine which clients will have woken up with d&v/migraine/sick child or hit terrible traffic or have trouble parking or go to the wrong premises or have written the time down wrong - i guess it’s just a gift Wink

AwdBovril · 19/11/2019 21:18

AFAIK there's no recourse for getting struck off the books of a dentist. Our previous NHS dentist removed us (DH, DD & I) because we failed to make a repeat appointment. For all previous appointments they'd sent us appointment reminder letters in the post, & we weren't told there was to be any change. We were lucky to get another NHS dentist only 40 minutes away.

Tolleshunt · 19/11/2019 21:22

whatjust I find your attitude quite off-putting and unnecessary. Luckily my own dentist and my DD’s are both lovely (not that we’ve ever been late for appointment).

The problem with arriving very early for appointments with small child is that by the time you’ve sat in the waiting room for the 15 minutes you were early for, plus the 25 minutes they’re inevitably running late by (unless you are - for once - slightly late, in which case they will magically be running on time for the first time ever, natch), then said small child will have run out of their ability to wait and behave by the time you eventually get in the consulting room, and then you are faced with an unco-operative child, who refuses to open mouth/runs amok, etc.

This has happened to us more than once with the GP. I totally get why they run late, and don’t blame them, but it is very unfortunate when it impacts a small child who will then be far less well behaved than they would have been if the wait time had been reasonable. That does put me off arriving mega-early, tbh. It can be hard to do right for trying at times, with small kids.

Whatjusthappenedthere · 19/11/2019 21:22

Madambutterface. I bet we could swap a few tales. Grin

Barbie222 · 19/11/2019 21:25

I think I would have turned up a bit late and apologised profusely there. Once you were in the building they might have squeezed you in.

Aridane · 19/11/2019 21:25

Kudos to the dentist

Whatjusthappenedthere · 19/11/2019 21:28

Tolleshunt. Believe me, I’m quite lovely hence the long long waiting list to see me. It’s time wasters I can’t abide. I’m fortunate to be paid regardless of who turns up. Many hygienists are only paid for who they see. So it’s not uncommon for friends of mine to sit around unpaid waiting for the 4.40 patient to attend. Ironically the last 1 or 2 patients nearly always attend as these appointments are booked way in advance by working individuals who understand the value of time in business. And yes, dentistry is business . It’s not funded like the GP service.

IceCreamFace · 19/11/2019 21:29

And 4yo don't often know they did a BM until they need it. I could tell my ds at 4 to go to loo before we left home. 5 minutes later he could then need a BM.

The idea is that you leave 15 minutes early for appointments, then if your 4 year old needs a poo just as you leave, or if you get stuck in traffic or the bus is late etc you're not late for your appointment. You wouldn't miss your plane because your child needed a poo because it would be your money you'd be loosing so you'd make sure you organised yourself. You should do the same for NHS appointments.

itsgettingweird · 19/11/2019 21:32

A plane isn't the same comparison Confused

You get called for boarding 1 hour before plane leaves. Boarding takes 30-45 minutes.
So if child goes for 15 min bathroom break you board last.

And yes I've missed a bus because DS needed the loo. It happens. 🤷‍♀️

MistyCloud · 19/11/2019 21:35


I am sorry your boy has been struck off and it does seem a tad harsh. However, you did let them down (at very short notice) twice.

If you are late purely because your son needs a poo, then I'm sorry, but your need to address you time management skills.

Whenever I have an appointment, (and it's say, 15 minutes drive away to the dentist/ doctors/ opticians,) I literally plan on leaving the house 45 minutes before the appointment. (If you did the same/similar, then getting caught short by a cheeky little poo-fest, will not make you late, as you'll have allowed plenty of extra time.)

I would rather get to the place half hour early, than be late and miss the appointment. If I am half hour early, I just look around the shops for a bit (or go for a little walk,) and then rock up 10 mins early. On around 1 in 3 occasions or so, I go straight in! Sometimes because they are just ahead of time, and sometimes because the person before didn't turn up. (Probably because their kid needed a shit.) Grin

Sorry. Blush

I hope you do manage to find another dentist nearby (or the one who booted your son out 'forgives' you.) Flowers

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