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The dentist struck off my 4 year old son

132 replies

Cornishcharm · 19/11/2019 17:33

Ok so, in October I had to rearrange my sons dentist appointment because it was his first parents evening. I gave a weeks notice and rearranged for November.

We were about to leave for my sons appointment and he wants to go for a poo. So I called the dentist and explained that we were going to be late (15 minutes max). I asked if he could still be seen i.e. let other patients go first or if that wasn't possible could I rearrange it.

Now I hate cancelling like that and the only other time I have had the cancel his appointment previously was when he had D&V and I wasn't able to give 24 hours notice.

The receptionist told me that I couldn't bring him as he wouldn't be seen and that he had been struck off.

We have never received and formal notice that he could be struck off.

I have submitted a formal complaint about this, which I should hear back from by the 25th November.

AIBU to think that can't strike a 4 year old off without any warning? Does anybody know what the rules are with NHS dentists (I know they operate a 2 strikes and your out).


OP posts:
Lindy2 · 19/11/2019 18:31

You were cutting things so tight for time that your son didn't have time to go to the toilet before you left? Isn't going to the loo before any kind of trip pretty much standard practice for anyone with young kids.

I can't imagine actually phoning anywhere to say I'm going to be 15 minutes late because of someone having a poo. Blush What an embarrassing thing to say.

You need to improve your organisation skills a bit and allow more time.

The D&V is more understandable.

I guess they think you're messing them around too much though.

Straycatstrut · 19/11/2019 18:32

Oh my 7 year old takes ages for poos! I mean can sort himself out obviously, just sits there for ages pooing Shock (must get it from his dad) 3 year old needs a lot of help wiping otherwise he won't do it properly.

I HATE going to the dentist. I always get lectured and looked down on.

Yesterday my 2 both had an appointment - it took us over a year to find them a dentist after moving house, and it's 15 miles away. Total nightmare. First appointment was straight after my sons optician appointment, which Specsavers had made numerous mistakes over (had ordered the wrong glasses for him, their mistake), so then we were speeding down the duel carriageway (not actually speeding...) and just about getting there on time. Three year old had fallen asleep so screeched the place down the entire time and wouldn't open his mouth. Dentist didn't even look. All I got was a lecture that he still has a dummy. I won't take the dummy away until his surgery is finished next year as he has to endure horrendous pain and it comforts him. No feedback on 7 year old.

Anyway sorry for that ramble! I think you're right to appeal and with kids it shouldn't be 2 strikes and you're out. I know their grown ups will muck up with appointments (not saying you did purposely) but not the kids fault is it.

Sibello · 19/11/2019 18:33

Something is not right it doesnt add up. Whichever way, they can do this...sign up elsewhere.

Slappadabass · 19/11/2019 18:33

Did you actually say you would be late because he was having a poo? Grin Grin

runoutofideasnow · 19/11/2019 18:34

You didn't leave anywhere near enough time if a poo was going to make you 15 minutes late. You must have been running late already.

Surely you had more than a weeks notice about parents evening?

ManiacalLapwing · 19/11/2019 18:35

You should aim to be at an appointment 10 minutes early anyway. A poo shouldn't take longer than that.

BlueCornsihPixie · 19/11/2019 18:37

straycat but what do you expect the dentist to do if your child wont open their mouth?

Its not the dentists fault you booked appointments so close together. 15 miles isn't that far to travel tbh

You moan about the dentist saying nothing about your eldest, you moan they are 'lecturing' you, cant really win can they?

MrsFrankDrebin · 19/11/2019 18:39

I've had several DC, and I've never had this situation. Mind you, I live somewhere where there is no NHS, and I have to pay for all medical/dental appointments. It's funny how that concentrates the mind... and funnily enough, my DC (even when very young) didn't miss a dental appointment in this scenario.

I'm wondering if having the NHS makes people think they can move the boundaries at a whim?

However, I am willing to be told IABU by the OP.

BettyIsABoy · 19/11/2019 18:40

"Plus you called to say running late. They could have easily let those patients who had arrived early in first. The order people go in doesn't affect the time the surgery runs."

What if those pts hadn't arrived early? They wouldn't be able to be seen first. What if they were due to see the hygienist after? They would be running late due to you arriving late for your appointment.

It absolutely did my nut in when pts were late. I understood there were valid reasons and kept my frustration inside, but when I had back to back pts all day .... Argh

adaline · 19/11/2019 18:40

You were cutting it a bit fine if a poo was going to make you 15 minutes late.

I always try and get to appointments 5-10 minutes early just in case.

couchparsnip · 19/11/2019 18:41

DS was late for his second day at school because of a poo! He wouldn't be rushed and took at least 20 minutes. He won't be rushed now at 14 either but at least he can regulate himself, 4 year olds can't!

KnifeAngel · 19/11/2019 19:04

You should always allow extra time for delays like that. I would write to the practice manager and ask them to reconsider.

Drabarni · 19/11/2019 19:10

Look for a new Dentist and don't be late or miss appointments.
Seems fair enough, two strikes and out.

QueSera · 19/11/2019 19:10

We've all been there OP, it's tough to get out the door!
Build in a time buffer for contingencies, delays, unexpected poos etc. Take the time you think you should leave in order to arrive for the appointment 10-15 mins early, then subtract at least 15 mins and aim for that.

itsgettingweird · 19/11/2019 19:17

Well traffic varies. If I had a 4.30pm appointment for my ds at our appointment leaving at 4.10 would get me there for 4.20 on an average day. So I'd leave at 4 for extra time.

Leaving at 4.15 or later would take me over half an hour. So if at 4pm as we were leaving he needed a poo we would be late.

My dentist rang once as we were driving to appointment and I have Bluetooth through radio. I answered and apologised that accident on roundabout on end of single carriage road had caused unusual traffic.
They were fine and said they'd put appointment before us in.

Then when I arrived she lectured me on answering the phone whilst driving ConfusedHmmGrin

SuperMumTum · 19/11/2019 19:22

You called the dentist to say you would be 15 mins late because your child needed a poo? Like a PP said I bet you wouldn't have been late if you'd have been paying for it.

bobstersmum · 19/11/2019 19:23

Our dentist says that in the case of sudden illness as long as you give them some notice, even if it's right before, it's better than not turning up. I don't understand why you thought that an emergency poo was OK reason to turn up 15 mins late though, obviously you need to be on time! You can pay privately and probably get more slack, but they'll still definitely charge you for not turning up.

OneForMeToo · 19/11/2019 19:28

A poo made you 15 minutes late.... your time keeping and planning is shocking.

percheron67 · 19/11/2019 19:29

As well as a new dentist I think your son needs something for chronic constipation!

Tolleshunt · 19/11/2019 19:30

I’m a bit baffled as to how leaving earlier would have solved this - wouldn’t the child have needed a poo at the same time anyway? It wouldn’t have been 15 minutes earlier just because OP left 15 minutes earlier.

The child is 4, not 14. It can’t always wait, be rushed, or planned around. Not unless you want an accident...

Op I would look for a more flexible dentist.

Span1elsRock · 19/11/2019 19:32

Should your dentist have just stood there waiting for you to turn up, then? Hmm

Strawberrypancakes · 19/11/2019 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ManiacalLapwing · 19/11/2019 19:38

I’m a bit baffled as to how leaving earlier would have solved this - wouldn’t the child have needed a poo at the same time anyway? It wouldn’t have been 15 minutes earlier just because OP left 15 minutes earlier. If they got to the dentist 10 minutes early, needed to go before the appointment and it still ran into appointment time then that couldn't be helped, but the receptionist would at least know they had bothered to get there with time to spare.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 19/11/2019 19:38

How on earth does a poo take 15 minutes?

Peanutbutterforever · 19/11/2019 19:39

A strike for the d&v seems harsh, that was hardly your fault or plannable. Today was on you though.

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