The dentist struck off my 4 year old son

[Cornishcharm]

Ok so, in October I had to rearrange my sons dentist appointment because it was his first parents evening. I gave a weeks notice and rearranged for November.

We were about to leave for my sons appointment and he wants to go for a poo. So I called the dentist and explained that we were going to be late (15 minutes max). I asked if he could still be seen i.e. let other patients go first or if that wasn't possible could I rearrange it.

Now I hate cancelling like that and the only other time I have had the cancel his appointment previously was when he had D&V and I wasn't able to give 24 hours notice.

The receptionist told me that I couldn't bring him as he wouldn't be seen and that he had been struck off.

We have never received and formal notice that he could be struck off.

I have submitted a formal complaint about this, which I should hear back from by the 25th November.

AIBU to think that can't strike a 4 year old off without any warning? Does anybody know what the rules are with NHS dentists (I know they operate a 2 strikes and your out).

Thanks

[Bellevu]

I really wish GPs would adopt this same approach. We would sort the problem of 300-500 people a month not attending GP appointments.

[Tolleshunt]

If they got to the dentist 10 minutes early, needed to go before the appointment and it still ran into appointment time then that couldn't be helped, but the receptionist would at least know they had bothered to get there with time to spare.

True, but it could just as easily happen that he needed to go while they were on the bus/train/car etc! I do agree that adding in delay time is wise, but my experience of 4 year olds’ bowels tells me this is not 100% foolproof....!

[Waitingforadulthood]

One strike for d and v is harsh, but fair. Otherwise it'd be a one strike rule. Two are allowed because sometimes it can't be helped. 15 minutes late because you can't time manage well enough to allow for unexpected poos? Well. That's a fair strike and frankly a reflection on your own sense of entitlement

[MadameButterface]

I work in a profession where people make appointments, not a dentist tho, and obviously tho life happens and things are unavoidable, there’s a certain type of client who is ALWAYS dicking their appointment times about, no showing, cancelling with no notice, turning up and changing their mind about what they want because they’re ‘skint this week lol’, or turning up late because of traffic or not being able to get parked or they wrote the time down wrong, and you get to spot them and expect it. You’d expect truly unavoidable mistakes or delays to happen to all humans equally wouldn’t you, if they truly were random, but weirdly some humans tend to be far worse affected than others 🤔

I wish we could strike people off tbh.

[Tolleshunt]

Gosh, I must be doing something wrong in life, because, try as I might, despite all best efforts to plan for contingencies, I haven’t quite managed saintly 100% success. Sometimes, life gets in the way. Today, I squeaked out the door running 2 minutes late for school pick up because of a leak in the kitchen. I couldn’t have planned for that, and actually it was very lucky I wasn’t running super early, because then I would have been out when it happened and the kitchen cupboards would have been sitting in a pool of water for hours - not good for wooden cupboards!

Shit happens (ha!) occasionally. I think some degree of flexibility is required.

[JoObrien7]

Just find another Dentist .... I didn't see a Dentist for 3 years and found one very quickly. I didn't need any treatment either just an xray to check a couple of my crowns.

[InACheeseAndPickle]

I think it's fair enough. I wonder if it was a prepaid train ticket or theatre show where your own money was on the table whether you'd have managed to handle the poo and get their on time?

[SarahAndQuack]

I think the poo thing is your problem TBH - you need to factor it in. But the D&V is ridiculous. That should never have counted as a strike.

[ManiacalLapwing]

True, but it could just as easily happen that he needed to go while they were on the bus/train/car etc! If they needed to go while travelling they'd have to wait until they got to the dentist anyway.

[BertieBotts]

I assume that the 15 minutes was taking her contingency plan into account and the poo took longer than this (or perhaps made them miss a bus and the next one was 15 minutes after the appointment time or something). But like I said, DS1 was a nightmare for poos - so I might have a skewed idea of how long one would take an average 4yo. There is no way I would have been able to persuade him to hold on until we got there, either - he would only ever go at home, for years.

[Lovemusic33]

OP, are you one of those people that’s always late taking your child to school? 🤣

I always leave in plenty of time for appointments just incase “someone needs a poo” or something else happens. I think you need to plan ahead a bit more and give yourself more time. Missing an appointment because of a poo is your fault 🤣

[Tolleshunt]

! If they needed to go while travelling they'd have to wait until they got to the dentist anyway.

Yes, some four year olds can manage to wait. Others can’t....

[spacepyramid]

Tell him to wait and he can go to the toilet after he's been to the dentist?!

[SleepingStandingUp]

D&V shouldn't count as a strike, it would be utterly irresponsible for you to take him somewhere like that when he's contagious, and bloody stupid taking him somewhere like that when he's at risk of exploding in one direction or another.

[emmylou24]

My son was struck off after 2 missed appts. The practice hadn't reminded me about first one and I stupidly hadn't written it into new diary. The second time he came home on transport from special needs school late and incredibly violent. I contacted them to let them know as it would have been dangerous to get him there. They struck him off at 5. I went in and spoke to practice manager heavily reminding them about his disabilities and they switched him to another dentist in the practice

[SleepingStandingUp]

Tell him to wait and he can go to the toilet after he's been to the dentist?!
Tbh I'm 37 and if I needed a poo really badly I'd struggle to sit through a long dentist appt without feel uncomfortable / in pain / nauseous

[Tolleshunt]

Tell him to wait and he can go to the toilet after he's been to the dentist?!

He’s 4!

He needs a poo!

[Mammylamb]

Just for the record; my 3 year old also does 15 minute poos!

[itsgettingweird]

If if they got there on time and then he did his BM then they'd he have still been late. 🤷‍♀️

It's not like she wasn't turning up and it's not like a check up for a 4yo lasts more than 5 minutes.

My dentist is amazing. I was there once for something that would take 30-40 minutes. She was running late. (20 mins) and asked if I mined the check up appointment after me jumping in. Fine by me!

However another day I'd had no sleep for 5 days due to a seriously damaged nerve and been passed to dentist to a and e and back again. They saw me when I turned up in desperation on day 5. They also spent 1.5 hours treating my severe nerve issue and hypoglycaemia due to not eating - the receptionist ran to corner shop and got me lucosade which they dropped into me by syringe once they administered the anaesthetic.

A good practitioner will treat all patients fairly and calmly and gain their trust and respect so they work together.

I was dental phobic until I met my current dentist.

[Ragwort]

From the other point of view, my last three dental appointments hvebeen cancelled by the dentist, no reason given, one just twenty minutes before the appointment. It doesn’t particularly bother me as I have a flexible job but if I’d booked time off it would be very irritating.

[lborgia]

All these smug answers. Have any of you experienced a four year old? Ridiculous answers!

I have to pay for our appointments, and guess what, occasionally I've had to pay for a missed appointment. Meanwhile, I think the doctor/ dentist treats the patient differently because they're paying. I always call ahead if we're in a bad traffic jam etc., and have never had anything but encouragement to get there when we can.

Oh, and if you have ADD/ADHD, AND a child with gut issues, the whole trip can be a nightmare.

Sanctimonious and smug. Ugh.

[ManiacalLapwing]

All these smug answers. Have any of you experienced a four year old? Ridiculous answers! Yes. When my DS was at that unreliable stage of toilet training then I allowed time for him to use the toilet if needed before we left the house. If we would be travelling where he might not have quick access to a toilet then he wore a pull up. By three it wasn't an issue for us, but the age doesn't matter, you adapt to your child.

[Lolwhat]

They were right to, lots of wasted appointments if every patient did this