To hate homemade gifts

[Bearbehind]

New thread with the vote enabled this time!

Unless the giver is actually good enough at making what ever it is to sell then I wish they just wouldn’t give homemade stuff, especially food

Fortunately I don’t generally receive them but I have a friend who’s a teacher who’s inundated with them at Christmas

It just seems such a waste as it pretty much all gets binned

@WhereverIMayRoam - I feel the same sense of obligation about shop-bought presents that I don't like - I feel guilty if I don't use them/display them.

I do think that most of us try to do our best when we are giving presents, whether we make them or buy them - and I always appreciate the fact that someone cares enough about me to give me a present, even if the present itself isn't to my taste. I think it is possible to be grateful for the thought even if the present itself still ends up going into the charity shop.

I put up all the Christmas cards we get, even if I don't like them much - I bluetack the cards onto the panes of glass in the door from the living room to the dining room, and they are a part of my Christmas decorations. Even when there's the odd one that I don't like so much, it still adds to the overall Christmassy feel.

My mum only displays cards that she approves of - no jolly cartoon Santas for example. She used to have three sheets of gold paper that she stuck the acceptable cards to, and then hung on the wall. It did look nice, but I do feel it was wrong that there was always a hidden pile of cards that didn't come up to her standards.

I’ve actually received a jammy feckin Horcrux!!

This is the best thing I've read on MN for ages

We've received jammy Horcruxes too - but they were bought ones. Little jars of jam (and other things like chutneys, flavoured oils etc) that don't get used.

Bought ones don’t have the makers soul in the list of ingredients though SDTG .

For me it’s really not a matter of shop bought v home made. I’m actually not very invested in presents, they don’t for the most part say things to me and like others I appreciate that it’s the thought that counts. My issue with HM is that some of the gifters attach so much emotion and expectation to their gift and it gets uncomfortable and there are injured feelings and it just becomes this big thing...

That is true, @WhereverIMayRoam - and made me laugh!!

I voted YABU after some dithering. I think it's the obligation to give gifts that is the problem. If you're given a gift that makes you feel like a box that's been ticked then it was a crap gift, home-made or not.

Anything made by young children is obviously going straight in the bin, but the giver knew it before they even gave it to me so that's fine, isn't it? I'm just a collateral casualty of their childcare regime, and indeed they might well one day find themselves a collateral casualty of mine when I need to keep my kids occupied for an afternoon making 'presents'.

For our family specifically, we can't be doing with artsy objets cluttering the place up. We've enough trouble keeping back the tide of brightly coloured plastic that floods the place at christmas to have any appreciation of further Stuff To Find A Place For. But I would expect most people who know us to know that.

However there is an honourable exception to something I don't really want, but which has obviously given the giver pleasure in making for me and giving - so long as it has been made for me and not batch-produced.

And competently-made comestibles are different; you can tick my box with home-made sloe gin any Christmas you like!

That even a card is received with such ingratitude as to be thrown away

Aren’t cards essentially disposable items anyway?I display them until after the birthday / Christmas / whatever, and then recycle them. They’re not something I view as mementos.
Unless the sender has written a personal message inside it (as in something more than Happy Birthday love from Mary).

As for OP’s question - it depends entirely on what the gift is, and whether it’s something the giver believes the recipient will like.

Some homemade gifts are lovely and thoughtful, some aren’t, but the same is true for shop bought gifts.
I think that someone who gives homemade gifts that the recipient hates isn’t likely to make more welcome choices if they get their presents from the shops instead.

@InitialsError - you are right that cards are disposable - I put up cards for a while (birthday, anniversary, Christmas, whatever) and enjoy them - and then they go.

I do keep some special ones - not on display, of course - I’ve still got my 40th and 50th birthday cards, for example - and I have a New Home card made for me by a friend and her little boy - he drew a picture of a house, and she embroidered over parts of it. I framed it and it is still an ornament I love. Actually, now I come to think of it, I have another card she made me for Christmas one year - she used tiny, torn out pieces of paper to make a mosaic picture of a lollipop shaped ornamental orange tree in a pot - this is my talented friend who made the felt dogs - the things she makes are gorgeous, and a pleasure to have in my home!

Of course cards are disposable. That wasn't the issue. Its people binning them when they're not perceived as 'acceptable enough'. Don't meet card quality criteria somehow. Or as pp dm didn't match up to the gold paper display 'standard'

Yeah, its all quite derogatory and supercilious.

Its sounds like people feel ashamed to display some cards. Those should look to themselves rather than the givers.

Horcruxes comes in many forms

As we all know.

They come high value shop bought, high effort invested, some HM, some with much guilt attached.

Everyone surely hopes when they buy or make a gift they have made good choices for the receiver.

Horcruxes are horrible no matter the source.

Again, it doesn't apply to HM stuff alone, far from it.

Shitty frankly, all this grading of gifts received.

What happened to being gateful someone thought enough of you to choose you a gift.

Who is it that resurrects these threads every year, to what purpose?

I'm very crafty, I love making stuff and baking stuff but usually as a hobby. I could never be arsed making gifts for people. I still think YABU and a bit ungrateful depending on the context. My step gran makes me something every year ranging from a make up bag, a tissue holder to a crochet headband for my baby girl etc etc. None of it is my cup of tea really as it's a bit dated but I massively appreciate the sentiment and I try and make a use for it. However if my DH had made me something a bit naff when I'd spent X amount on something he specifically wanted I'd be a tad miffed!

What is a horcrux? I have googled and got Harry Potter..

Its a part of someone's soul put into another object

it is from harry potter

It is very Dark magic - you hide a bit of your soul in an object or person, to make yourself immortal, but you have to kill another human being to achieve it, @W0rriedMum.

One of my friends gave everyone home made food gifts one year a Christmas pudding wrapped in foil a cake and some chutney. This would have been ok apart from the chutney which I hate but when we went to eat it everything was covered in mould. I don't think anyone told her I certainly didn't.
I make chocolate truffles but I don't give them as gifts they are all mine.

I make chocolate truffles but I don't give them as gifts they are all mine.

Well THIS I can get behind!

I make Chocolate coated toffee pecans. Generally I'm inclined to keep them but a couple of years ago I took a box to a party as a thank you to the host and they handed them around. So now I get a lot of requests and heavy handed hints that people would like some. Last year I wasn't happy with the quantity left for myself so this year I've doubled up on the recipes😂

Do you have a recipe?

I think the overall issue is, as usual, that some people are simply self-obsessed. Whether it's the ones who think everyone should be grateful for their hand-crayoned crap, the production of which feeds their ego more than anything else, or the ones who have such high standards about what they will allow into their home that they can't even say 'Thank you' for a gift without sneering.

@TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince I made up the recipe myself from other elements so it's a bit of an improv thing. But essentially I make a dairy toffee from condensed milk. Roll it out to about 5mm thick and cut into small rectangles. As soon as it's cool enough to touch (i wear buttered plastic gloves to prevent sticking) I wrap each rectangle around a pecan nut, then chill overnight. After that it's just a case of coating in chocolate, popping another pecan on top and waiting for them to set.

This is the only picture I could find so they look rather scruffy as they're still setting and not tidied up off the baking paper. But it gives you the general idea. The sizes vary thanks to the pecans themselves varying in size...

🤤 they sound gorgeous

Those sound amazing, @soupforbrains!

Those are what we call Pecan Turtles in the US, soup. They're yummy!