To hate homemade gifts

[Bearbehind]

New thread with the vote enabled this time!

Unless the giver is actually good enough at making what ever it is to sell then I wish they just wouldn’t give homemade stuff, especially food

Fortunately I don’t generally receive them but I have a friend who’s a teacher who’s inundated with them at Christmas

It just seems such a waste as it pretty much all gets binned

It's so massively variable that I couldn't say that I blanket like or hate homemade gifts. I know some talented artists and crafters and love to receive homemade gifts from me (especially as I know them so they are appropriate to my house and interests). I also have a slightly wonky bit of embroidery that I treasure because the gifter was short of money and slaved over it for hours, having never done embroidery before, so they could give a gift.

Some cheap bits from Hobbycraft glued together because the gifter felt they had to give something, not so keen on that! (Unless made by a small child)

I think it's sad that you can't appreciate home made gifts that probably took a lot of time and maybe money. Says a lot more about you being ungrateful than the lovely people who made them for you.

@ChippingIn - your kindness knows no bounds!

I hear ya, SGB, those are dire. So are the Scrabble tile thingies.

I agree with those saying that expensive bight gifts can be worse, carry more pressure & more annoyance. My DM was good at this. For my 17th birthday she bought me a full length, hooded, patchwork coney fur coat. Apart from being hideous, especially as I was a young punk rocker, I had been a vegetarian since I was 6 years old & my hobby between 8 & 14 was breeding & showing rabbits. I don't know what possessed her, but she frequently bought me similarly unsuitable things time & time again. Like the deep fat fryer, that I'd already said I didn't have room for, wouldn't match my kitchen & we don't eat deep fried food. It just shows a total lack of accepting who you actually are

Gift giving should always be about the recipient, never about the giver

I totally agree with this. People say, “It’s the thought that counts” but if the thought is, “I love making glitter glasses/Lego frames/scrabble tile pictures, I’ll do one for everyone.” then that doesn’t actually count as a thoughtful gift.

SDTG I haven’t had any crack but I have had many batches come out hollow. I remember at catering college a whole class of us one day managed to produce disastrous macarons, not a single usable one between the lot of us. The recipe in Ed Kimber’s book used to always work well for me but I haven’t made them in ages.

Can't see the difference tbh between shop bought crap and crafted crap.

Or between shop bought thoughtful lovely gift and crafted thoughtful lovely gift.

Fuck all to do with crafting.

I also had have loads of amazing homemade foods and drinks gifted.

Very touched by those who make the effort to do that.

Thank you@evilharpy.

SDTG I haven’t had any crack

Came back to the thread to find it had taken an unexpected turn. I guess it's a type of homemade gift if you happen to be in Breaking Bad...

Me too! Namechangeforthiscancershit

I saw that sentence about crack in my saved threads & had to come back!

“another way of putting what I was saying is that sometimes giving someone a handmade item is very like giving them an excessively expensive shop-bought item, in terms of the pressure and guilt and feeling 'stuck with it' it can produce“

So it’s not actually anything to do with being handmade, but the fact that the gift is ill-thought-through.

SGB I too have issues with people cutting up books. Cannot contemplate it and certainly would be very averse to receiving such a gift.

They also seem quite pointless.

I don't dislike them if they are good!

Dsil and Bil last year did homemade cider, lemon curd, biscuits and candles and they were all lovely. In fact he gets lots of requests for lemon curd now!

My kids like to make stuff like seaglass necklaces which I think are fine but maybe the recipient doesn't think so! Grannies like anything their dgc make tho I hope!

Good gift givers, what are your ideas for gifts that indicate the right amount of effort and thoughtfulness? What are good ideas for elderly parents, for example, that won’t illicit sneers that they are too naff home-made or too much shop-bought thoughtless tat?

Gosh daisypond. Do your own work

To be fair @daisypond it does depend on your elderly parents as they aren't an homogeneous group. Do they drink? Have any particular hobbies? Eat cheese? Like jam? Make them something they would actually like by all means, just don't (IMO) expect them to be delighted with something impersonal and batch prepared. Or a scrabble frame.

Depends what it is and who has made it. My aunt makes amazing quilts and knitted items and has been working at that hobby for decades. I always hope to have something homemade from her when she gives a gift. Everything she makes is one of a kind and can’t be found mass produced in Primark.

To know she’s sat at home in the evening working on my gift for weeks, if not months, is very touching.

Or, someone can pop to Marks and grab a gift card.

I know what I would prefer.

Most presents are clearly regarded as naff or tat or tasteless or egotistical or lazy, it seems. There is a huge amount of nasty judgment on this thread. My family don’t do presents at all - we neither make stuff or buy stuff - and I’m glad of it - so I don’t have to “do my own work”, thanks - neatly indicating my point about nastiness.

l always ask my best friend to make me my favourite cake for my birthday and Christmas. She makes the best one l've ever had, and l love it. She's not working so it means she doesn't have to spend much.
She made me one for my birthday. But she also gave me a big parcel which l wasn't expecting at all.
lt was a quite big (about 2' high) cartoon type rabbit figure. Now l love rabbits. l have three house rabbits, and some nice little garden ornament ones. But this thing is awful. lt's quite scary-looking to be honest. l can't get rid of it because when she comes over, she'll notice.
l'm very happy with the cake. l just wish she hadn't spent money on the rabbit as well.

My mother was notoriously difficult to buy presents for. Nothing was ever appreciated.
One year my cousin asked what she'd like for Christmas. "Oh, just make me a coffee and walnut cake."
Which is fair enough, except my cousin works full time as a teacher, has a husband and two kids, and is always busy.
So anyway. She made this cake (she's a fantastic cook and a very good baker) and it was beautiful. Presented it in a lovely, specially chosen cake tin with a gorgeous ribbon and tag on it.
On Christmas Day, my mother said to me "Tell our XXX that cake's too big. l just want a little one next year."
The cake was two 7" sponges with butter icing. When l told her, my cousin said "l haven't got any smaller cake tins!"
l told her to next time make one sponge and cut it in half. Why my mother couldn't just share it with people is beyond me. There's no pleasing some people. She actually told me she'd "had to throw half of it out."!!

Most presents are clearly regarded as naff or tat or tasteless or egotistical or lazy, it seems. There is a huge amount of nasty judgment on this thread.

No there's really not. You've just got snippy because another poster told you to maybe put your own thought into what your own parents might like.

What I hate more than a rubbish home made gift is the personalised tat my bloody sister in law insists on. I’ve been besieged by a personalised cushion cover, phone case & one of those scrabble letter things. All paid for by someone who makes this tat and sells it on FB. I can’t bear it, I’ve never asked for it and have never given it! Why would I want a cushion with my own giant face & my partners face on it! Why!

Why would I want a cushion with my own giant face & my partners face on it! Why!

Sorry. That's bloody brilliant.

” SDTG I haven’t had any crack”

I missed that, @Namechangeforthiscancershit and CourtOfProtection!

That probably would be a useful and acceptable gift.