To hate homemade gifts

[Bearbehind]

New thread with the vote enabled this time!

Unless the giver is actually good enough at making what ever it is to sell then I wish they just wouldn’t give homemade stuff, especially food

Fortunately I don’t generally receive them but I have a friend who’s a teacher who’s inundated with them at Christmas

It just seems such a waste as it pretty much all gets binned

Damntheman Thank you so much for that! l'm saving that link. l think we may have found her birthday present for next year! Both she and her partner are Star Wars mad, so l suspect if l make it for her, it might get nicked! x

My older sister thinks she is equally skilled- she really isn't. She painted canvases last christmas, (my 9 year old is a far better artist)- and she puts glitter on everything. I'm in my 30's not 13! She also bakes stuff but she is a crap cook.

Omg yes!

My aunt rates herself as some sort of amateur interior designer. For her brother's wedding present, she bought three cheap canvases, painted them all a mustard colour, and I think put a blue blob on one, a stripe on the other, and maybe a star on the last.

Poor guy has "the fucking things" up in his downstairs loo whilst she tells everyone proudly that she made him some "original artwork" instead of vouchers towards his honeymoon.

I quite like it, but I am a crafter.
I make bags/purses/pouches, but I rarely give anyone them for gifts these days as I've done that already and I think more than once, unless they ask for it, is overkill.

Its not always easy to judge what someone will like. My sister in law is a crocheter, and makes all sorts of nik naks, so I actually asked her for some last year because I liked her potted cactii.
Examples of what I make are below. Teachers might get a make up bag/zipped case/clutch bag type of thing, because its relatively quick and doesn't take up too much of my time. Family members and close friends might get a purse or bag but again, tricky, because a bag can take many hours and cost £££ to make.

It's fucking awful and we pour a bit down the sink each week to look like we're enjoying it when she comes round. If you ask DM? We all love the stuff. She has to make it every year as she imagines they'd be uproar if we were all deprived of this absolute treat

Allergies can develop even in adults. I would invent one. That way, you get to express your regret, say you would love to have it, but it causes terrible stomach pain/gastro symptoms/rash so it's a real shame but you can't have it in the house any more in case you are tempted to drink some anyway and do yourself real damage.

To the poster who asked if they were unreasonable to give people home made pesto for Xmas, the answer is it depends, if the recipients really want a big jar of pesto for Xmas then no, you are not, if they don't then you are.

Gift giving should always be about the recipient, never about the giver.

I make jams, jellies and chutneys for Christmas presents but I only give them to certain people who I know will actually like that sort of thing. I’ve had people ask if I’ve considered selling them commercially (to which the answer is no, because of the hassle) so I guess they are perceived as being good. I’ve also had people comment off their own bat (rather than being prompted for ‘compliments’) that they like them and/or ask me what I’m doing for this year.

Amongst one group of friends we always used to do homemade food gifts. Much as some were a bit random, I don’t think I ever received anything I didn’t like and I’m appreciative of the time, effort and money (it’s often more expensive to make than buy from a shop) it’s taken.

I know there are some people who don’t like this sort of thing and I wouldn’t bother wasting it on them!

"Isn't home made gift same as any gift? If it's thoughtful and appropriate for the recipient it's a good gift regardless if it's bought or made. Storebougt gift can be completely thoughtless shit that gets thrown in the trash and so can home made gift. Carefully thought and grafted home made present can be fantastic as can be a store bought gift that the giver gave a lot of thought."

I agree completely, @Rezie.

@katseyes7 - I think some people think that, as crocheting/knitting is our hobby and something we enjoy, they are doing us a favour by giving us something to do - it is our hobby, not work, so our time has no monetary value, in their eyes.

@sugarbum your friends are extraordinarily lucky to have you as a friend. They are awesome.
I would love to see a photo of the pregnant belly picture frame mentioned above

I love homemade gifts as long as they are made with the recipient in mind. I don't like cake or most biscuits, so someone giving me baked goods means they don't really know me particularly well and just feel obliged to give a gift. It's all about the thought!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius l think you're right. Unless you make things yourself, you have no idea of the work involved, and the time it takes. l have to admit to being a bit gobsmacked at the "l want three now!" and "l'll pay you for the wool".
Never mind that each one will take me at least a day. And l'm working, as well. l think that if l make one, take it in to "see if she likes it" then hit her with "l sell these for £20 each" might make the penny drop. l don't think she's going to want three then.

I absolutely love a home made gift.
Even if it is naff, it gives us something to laugh about. If we don't like it, we pass it on to sometime who does.
I hate shop bought shite. And I hate consumerism. So I only give gifts to people who appreciate it.

I think one thing crafters should keep in mind, even the ones who are very very good at it, is that recipients will feel more pressure to keep and use something handmade than something shop bought that is lovely even if it isn't quite right for their wardrobe or house.

Sometimes even an objectively lovely, well made item can inadvertently limit the recipient's choice to use other things they might also like, and have chosen themselves, in the same place.

The person knitting yet another scarf in a different colour way for their dsis because she liked the previous ones so much might just consider where all these scarves are living, and what other scarves from different places they are preventing the dsis from keeping, because home made means more pressure to keep and guilt about not using.

I normally get my grandma some posh skincare for christmas but this year she wants one of my paintings, no idea when I'll have the time to bloody do one though.

@Ilikechoosingmycushions You sound like a person who owns a LOT of knitted scarves :o

I have been known to give food gifts. However I am a qualified chef and patissier with allergen training and used to run a cake business with a 5 star hygiene rating. Anyone who knows me knows that food coming out of my kitchen is safe to eat. I've made things like fudge, truffles, handmade chocolates, macarons, different kinds of shortbread including millionaires shortbread, 6 or 12 cupcakes all decorated in a theme, all nicely packaged, and people have raved about them. Also make a small and beautifully Christmas cake every year for a friend who has a particular allergy to an ingredient in bought cakes, which she loves.

I only bother to make food gifts for people I actually love and care about and am fairly sure they have all been appreciated.

I have a friend who's a great knitter and every year makes my daughter a jumper or cardi and they have all been loved and worn to death. She also sewed me some bunting and a small quilt when I was pregnant and both are still decorating my daughter's room and are much loved.

One year a friend made some Christmas curd which was orange with mixed spice and it was really delicious.

I'd be a bit about a scrabble tile picture though.

@evilharpy - slightly off topic, but can I ask your advice on macaron making, please? I did a class on it earlier in the year, and have tried to make them myself twice since then - but both times up to half of them have cracked during baking. I tapped the trays firmly to get air bubbles out, and left them to get a skin on (longer the second time than the first), but quite a number still cracked - do you have any idea what I might be doing wrong?

Thanks in advance.

Failing to see how a homemade gift is lazy, it’s surely the opposite.

My Grandad’s wife makes Christmas cake every year and I seriously look forward to receiving my slab along with some naice cheese. It’s a simple gift but I love it.

SDTG. I can’t answer your question, sorry.

But I can offer to taste test/ quality check.... and I don’t mind a bit of a crack on them.

You sound like a person who owns a LOT of knitted scarves grin

Names of craft items have been changed to protect the innocent

“ recipients will feel more pressure to keep and use something handmade than something shop bought that is lovely even if it isn't quite right for their wardrobe or house.”

Is that so? My MIL buys me extremely expensive clothing from shops that is not to my taste and I feel exactly the same pressure. Eg cashmere ponchos (which she asked me if I wanted, I said no thank you and suggested something else, and l lo and behold there it was beautifully wrapped on Christmas Day) - gorgeous but doesn’t fit with my style or lifestyle. She doesn’t offer the receipt and given that she ignored my response in the first place it’s clear we don’t have the sort of relationship where I can be honest and it will be listened to. So it’s all stored in my wardrobe with moth deterrents and she doesn’t notice that I don’t wear them

Hm, I voted yanbu because I don't actually like the gifts themselves. However I do feel special from the effort that went into making them for me so I appreciate the thought. I have no need for knitted, crocheted, baked, preserved, moulded, stitched, etc items but the idea that someone spent hours of their life on trying to make me happy is priceless and it does make me happy, just not in the way they expect.

Is that so? My MIL buys me extremely expensive clothing from shops that is not to my taste and I feel exactly the same pressure.

Yes, it is so - I was on my phone so didn't type more but another way of putting what I was saying is that sometimes giving someone a handmade item is very like giving them an excessively expensive shop-bought item, in terms of the pressure and guilt and feeling 'stuck with it' it can produce.

Personally, I think the main issue
Think about this. It might just be that the person who gives you a handmade gift doesn't care why you like. If they went out and brought you something you didn't like, would you be as insulted, or would you think that it'd the thought that counts. If you would be just as upset, YANBU, but if you would think better of them for buying something you hate instead of making it, then YABU and a snob.

I have mixed feelings about this. I know someone who prides herself on making things for people and thrives on the approval of the third parties she tells all about it, for months up to the occasion. At least part of it is about making her feel good about herself. Lots of people who make things will be more focused just on the giving and not on the audience though.

I think whatever you give someone you have to be happy that they might pass it on. If you know you couldn't possibly be happy if they did that, then maybe you are overspending in time or money.

The one category of homemade 'artand craft' gift I really wouldn't like is the sort of stuff that has been made by cutting and tearing up books. Ew. Makes my skin crawl. Mercifully I don't know anyone likely to do that...