Is this fair wedding etiquette ?

[Roxxxy]

My friend is having a wedding in 2 weeks' time. My coupled up friends' partners have all been invited, but those of us who are single are not allowed to bring a plus one. The partners of my mates aren't even close with the bride or groom. I asked if I was allowed to bring my Mum as a plus one and my friend said she would let me know how many numbers there were for the evening reception.

Does this seem like a common practice at weddings ? Or unfair ?

Very common. Weddings are super expensive and maybe she just cant afford alot of extras. Partners are the norm. But please remember it is their day. They only need to have who they want.

It’s normal - it’s their wedding- don’t go if you don’t like it.

@Roxxxy

"Technically" any member of the public can attend a wedding! I believe this is still the case!

Marriages and civil partnerships must take place in readily identifiable premises. This means that marriages and civil partnerships cannot be held in the open air, in a tent, marquee or other temporary structure and in most forms of transport.

They must be solemnised in premises with open doors, which is interpreted as meaning that the public must have open access to witness the marriage and to make objections either prior to, or during the ceremony*

So theoretically at least you and your plus one can attend the service though obviously not the reception!

I've been invited as a solo guest when I was single a bunch of times with no option to bring a guest. Also not been invited to a wedding my husband was invited to. So I think fairly normal.

Going alone to a wedding can be absolutely awful. As the eternal singleton, I often attend weddings alone and yes, I am an adult and don’t need to be babysat, but often you find people to chat with at the church/ ceremony and the canapé drinks bit and then find you are sitting with completely different (often boring) people for the meal, which can be excruciating.

Agreed. I’m eternally single too, and I don’t go to weddings anymore for precisely this reason.

Erm... not your wedding so...

I'm eternally single and don't have the problems seem people are talking about. If you know someone well enough to go to their wedding, you will have mutual friends to talk to.

As we were paying for our wedding ourselves, we limited plus ones to those with long term partners so my neice for example, couldn't bring her new boyfriend but my sister could bring her partner. I wouldn't have paid for a single friend to have a plus one

I've turned down a couple of wedding invitations where I haven't had a plus one and don't know anyone else going. I don't particularly enjoy weddings anyway but its absolutely excruciating when you only know the bride and groom.

Why do some brides plan a wedding as if it doesn't matter whether the guests enjoy themselves just as long as they turn up with a gift (or cash)

When we got married, all our single guests brought a plus one, some we had never met before. They all had a wonderful time. I have lost count of the number of people who said it was the best wedding they had ever been to, as we had ensured not only was the day amazing for us, it was magical for our guests too. Even the magician wrote to me and said the same, and he had been to hundreds!

YANBU, OP

The wedding is not about you - its about them

Why bother having guests at all then, if it's just about them? I really hate this attitude, a wedding reception is just a big party. And you don't have a party unless you think about your guests. I would never refuse a single guest a plus one, you want your guests to have a good time.

Think of it as a party where you'll meet friends.

My sister met her husband at a wedding, both single with no plus one. Think about it...

I don't get why you would want to take your Mum? To wipe your arse? I would think you odd to ask that

Are you for real? Are you going to pay for your mummy to go with you? I would have been livid if someone asked that. Of course it’s common practice to not take a plus one if you don’t have a plus one.

@Newbie1981 and @niugboo bore off. What's the need to be so aggressive about OP asking a simple question ? Husbands not paying you enough attention ?

I don't think 'plus ones' were a thing when I got married in the early 90s and I didn't invite any (I invited all husbands/wives and established partners, just not random plus ones for single friends). The only exception was that my oldest friend had recently been divorced and asked if she could bring a friend for moral support, and of course I said yes.

I was single for much of my twenties and went to many weddings on my own. It would never have occurred to me to expect to take someone with me.

We are getting married soon and we did one blank plus 1 for my cousin. According to my Aunt he is in the early stages of a relationship so no idea if they will still be together then, but we are asking him to travel 5 hours and stay in a hotel so we wouldn’t expect him to do the trip alone.

Some of our other friends are single but they are local and know lots of people so they didn’t get a plus 1.

@Monsoonx hey husband means I would have a plus one