Is this fair wedding etiquette ?

[Roxxxy]

My friend is having a wedding in 2 weeks' time. My coupled up friends' partners have all been invited, but those of us who are single are not allowed to bring a plus one. The partners of my mates aren't even close with the bride or groom. I asked if I was allowed to bring my Mum as a plus one and my friend said she would let me know how many numbers there were for the evening reception.

Does this seem like a common practice at weddings ? Or unfair ?

They are NBU to not give you a plus one. Weddings are expensive, we invited a partner if they were a known couple, otherwise we invited the person alone. I did have someone call me to ask could they bring a plus one, I asked who and they said 'oh I don't know I'm sure I can find someone'. At £75 per person I wasn't prepared to pay for the random who would probably wonder why they were watching 2 people they didn't know get married.

as 95% of my friends are in couples and I don't want to be there like a gooseberry

Been there, done that and yes you will almost certainly be a gooseberry on a the loser table. All the couples will be on nice even-numbered tables all happily chatting to the people they know.

You will almost certainly be at the back with the other oddbods.
It's fine if you are the kind to happily smalltalk with strangers, but I found that very difficult and basically spent the whole time with a rictus grin and left a lot earlier than I would otherwise have done.

I only gave single people plus ones if they didn’t already know people at the wedding.

I had 250 guests and still found numbers tight.

Been there, done that and yes you will almost certainly be a gooseberry on a the loser table. All the couples will be on nice even-numbered tables all happily chatting to the people they know.

Perhaps, but not ‘almost certainly’. When I was single, at the vast majority of weddings I was seated with friends.

That’s completely normal. Why would they stump up the cost of a very expensive meal for some randomer they may have never even met?

I was just thinking about the evening reception/disco part really. My Mum offered to pay for her own meal etc. But yeah I can understand why !

The gooseberry/single table thing is a myth. I've never seen this at a wedding, especially if your friends are attending.

I attended the wedding of a couple who were friends with my DP when we'd only been together a year or so. DP was best man so I was on my own for the wedding breakfast but was sat on a table with a load of randoms to me, but they were all friends of B&G and mostly couples.
You'll probably be sat with your friends and won't feel left out.
Just like if you go on a night out with them.

my friend bought her dm to my wedding, but i had a very small wedding, plus i knew her mum.
i guess it is up to them,
those saying random, if you invited a friend who was part of a couple, there is a chance you might not know their other half.

Perfectly common. I remember asking some of my more distant relatives if they were in a relationship as numbers were so tight.

I would only give a plus one if the person didn't know anyone else at the wedding.

those of us who are single
so you wont be the only one.
you will know people op - it will be fine.

All of our single friends were invited with a plus one. I would have felt weird doing it another way - 2 of my friends brought their Mums.

I suppose if you haven't got room...

No ring, no bring it’s called, isn’t it?
Perhaps they want to keep the costs of their wedding a bit low and they don’t want to invite non - spousal partners of guests as it brings possibly big extra costs. After all, how do you determine if a relationship is secure enough to invite the partner as well? At least engagement/ marriage is an objective criteria.

I asked if I was allowed to bring my Mum as a plus one

How very rude.

@Honeybee85 that's also a ridiculous concept

@GiveHerHellFromUs

I agree but not uncommon.
Thankfully me and DH had a veeeeery lowkey wedding so we never had to worry about these things

YABVU and entitled. Random plus ones are not the norm.

It’s their wedding day, they want to share it with the people they know and love, not some friends mum who they’ve never met or any other ransomed.

*randoms

I politely asked for the evening reception, that was my response and I didn't argue it. I'm not entitled, i've asked a question on here to see what others did at their weddings.

I think this is one of the key differences between British weddings and American weddings (and thus the wedding we see films). I have never heard of "plus ones" being invited to British weddings - I'm sure it does happen sometimes but its not the norm, whereas apparently it is the norm to ask a plus one at American weddings (or so I'm told).

I think it's pretty cheeky to have asked to bring your mum to be honest.

And as I said, 2 of my friends' partners they have never met, so they are also 'randoms'.

@InfiniteSheldon

What's this plus one thingy? this world moves too fast for me.

I asked if she had space and we offered to pay. I don't really think that's cheeky. When she wasnt sure I said that was fine.

@Roxxxy you'd be much more of a gooseberry in the day than in the evening.

And if you were bored on the evening you could just leave.