To tell newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on Christmas Day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

I'm hosting Christmas day at my house this year, not something I've done in ages. There's ten of us, including the kids, which is a great number - my plan, like every year I cook, is to order M&S food and pick it up on Christmas Eve then just bung it all in the oven and make some homemade gravy. I usually get a pork joint as I'm not a turkey fan, but will also be getting a turkey joint for my guests. I'm not usually the type to stress about Christmas dinner (it's only a roast after all!) but I also want it to be as simple as possible. One of my guests has declared they are now vegan. Which is a bit of a PITA for dinner if I'm honest as I'll have to sort a vegan main, gravy, dessert etc. I also have a nut allergy sufferer in the group which excludes quite a lot of vegan options as mains.

WIBU to ask the newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on the day or is that really rude? I've kind of planned the food around the size of my oven/hob and could do without the added stuff having to go in it (don't mind warming something up though)?

I would ask for guidance from the vegan. Wouldn't know where to start myself. X

I would do exactly the same. You’re not being unreasonable at all

If everyone else is having ready meals I think it's easy enough to buy a vegan one too. Perhaps ask them to bring a vegan pudding to share?

Marks and Spencer do a Plant Kitchen Root Vegetable Tarte Tatin which you can bung in the oven. Slight tweaks to the veggies can make them vegan so they can have them.

I totally understand that it is a pain for you and I am sure they will bring their own food if you ask them but it would be nicer to cater for them.

If they excepted the invataion when they werent pretending to be vegan then they should bring their own food. I would bet money on the fact they are not on a 100% vegan diet anyway

I'm veggie and I would always offer to bring a meal if I was going somewhere for xmas. The host has enough to deal with!

YANBU. Funny enough I was having this conversation with a friend yesterday as she is vegan and her hubby is veggie and she has said they are staying at home as it is too much of a pain as her mum cooks the turkey with the potatoes in the same tray and as a vegan she would not do this. I wonder if you should ring your guests and ask them what they would be happy with, would they be happy to bring something you could quickly put in the oven to heat up or could they give you some tips on what to buy? They may suggest bringing a meal themselves. If it was me I would be pleased that my host would be making the effort on a day that is already going to be hectic.

I'm veggie and now almost totally vegan because of allergies (apart from 2 types of cheese). With no offence to anyone I would much rather bring my own, I was recently poisoned (as in A&E!) by vegan soup because of cross contamination. Anyone I know who is veggie or vegan by choice would also be happy to do this both for their sake and that of the host not stressing

Yes UABU! Preparing a vegan dish is not difficult, and if you’re just buying ready made food anyway it’s not going to be much of a bother at all. And just provide some fruit and vegan ice cream or something for desert. It’s a fact of life now that people don’t all eat the same way. We can all learn from each other no need to be condescending.

Pork on Christmas sounds "horrific"?? What? In my family if we do a traditional Christmas meal the glazed gammon is the centrepiece of the table, along with the turkey which is stuffed with pork stuffing. Is that not the case for a lot of families? Of course for my daughter who does not eat pork there are alternatives.

I think of Christmas as an opportunity to be hospitable and inclusive, and to make an effort to be nice. A lot of the answers on this thread seem to show something rather different, I must say. I once made a Christmas dinner in which half the guests were kosher and several were vegetarian. It was a fun challenge, why are people so uptight?

Op,ask the vegan what they would like to eat(sorry I've not read all 23 pages of this has been done).
They will either advise you or suggest bringing their own favourite food.
Too bluntly ask them to bring it might make them feel a nuisance.
Have you thought about the alcohol?soft drinks?some are vegan,unfortunately most don't say in the shop aisles or on the labels,you have to Google before you go.

Well you sound an absolute delight @Genevieva
I'm glad I'm not invited to yours!

As it happens I always offer to provide for myself if I'm invited anywhere as I do appreciate a vegan diet can be tricky to cater for if you don't know much about it; but given the OP was literally buying ready made stuff to put in the oven I think it's a bit crap not to cater for the vegan as well. But I see it's all sorted now anyway.

The general comments on here suggest that the vegan is a pain in the arse and choosing to be awkward. Maybe they're just doing what they think is best for them. Even when for dietary reasons, they aren't likely to eat meat just because its Christmas.
I'd personally cater an easy to prepare main that suits you for both the nut allergy and the space you have for cooking. There are so many meat free options nowadays. Maybe the meat eaters might like to try something new and different anyway. A bot of both.
Its dietary not ethical so no concerns about cross contamination.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered Indeed it is sorted, and you are a real vegan and you sound a lot more considerate than the OP. I genuinely don't know a real vegan.

My husband's relative is a 'vegan' who eats smoked salmon, ice cream and the occasional piece of quiche with bacon in it (aka a fussy eater). Other friends have gone through vegan fads, usually to lose weight rather than because of any moral conviction. It can be hard to keep up and it is a bit galling when, a few days after specially catering for them, you meet for coffee and they tuck into a carrot cake slathered with cream cheese icing because they are 'so hungry'. I have never said a word, but I am getting too old for it and there is no obvious solution because I have trapped myself by always pulling out all the stops. Time over I would start off by asking the vegan to bring their main course and only provide side veg and a vegan pud.

considerate than the OP's relative. Sorry OP!

I genuinely don't know a real vegan.

Well they exist. I know loads. In fact I am one.

Red bisto is vegan and grab something Linda McCartney Sausages or quorn something and chuck in oven if you only bunging in oven anyway. Veg and potatoes are vegan already. None of that contains nuts either.
YANBU to ask them to bring something, although veganism really isn't hard these days to cater for so they'd appreciate feeling included I'm sure.

@GunpowderGelatine the sudafed typo gave me a proper giggle. Glad you sorted it.

Because this vegan is being a pain in the arse and choosing to be awkward roxy. They've made a choice to pick a nuisance of a dietary preference during a meatfest holiday, and to make someone else responsible for that choice. That, I'd argue, is quite different to an ethical decision which can be more involuntary.

I have brought a vegan dish myself when I was going through the stage of not eating meat. Also, I always bring something for my son who is allergic to dairy as I wouldn’t want the hostesses to stress out about cooking for him.

This thread reminds me that by far the biggest bummer about going vegan, for me, has been dealing with other people's reactions and preconceptions, as well as hating being an inconvenience if I get a dinner invite. I was brought up to always clear my plate, especially at other people's houses, so making any requests at all feels deeply wrong to me.

The easiest thing has sometimes been to suggest meeting up for a coffee instead. Or if I'm not the only guest, I will offer to bring a dish, but some people seem to take that as a slight as well. Largely it seems to be a unfortunate source of stress and awkwardness all round, which is a shame because food is one of the things that should bring people together. Don't know what the answer is but glad that the OP's situation seems to have been resolved!

Christmas is a bit of a special case tbf. It isn't so much doing a vegan meal that's the problem as veganising a very meaty one. If it were just an ordinary get together it'd be no great shakes to do roasted veg, couscous and hummus or something of that nature.

Some people do get funny about contributions being brought though. I don't understand it. The more the merrier!

Sunday dinners and Christmas dinners are probably the easiest to veganise as long as the meat eaters don't get precious about having cream in their potatoes or bacon in their sprouts.

Lots of the common vegetable dishes and indeed desserts for Christmas contain animal products, so not really. One can certainly make vegan versions but that doesn't mean it's easy. And you can dismiss it as precious, but wanting to eat the foodstuffs associated with a particular festival and preferring not to compromise on flavour for that one day a year hardly qualifies.

Doing a chickpea curry instead of a chicken one or something like that is much more straightforward than veganising Christmas dinner.

Lots of the common vegetable dishes and indeed desserts for Christmas contain animal products, so not really.

Like what?
Sprouts with bacon? Just take a portion out before adding the bacon.
Roast potatoes etc don’t have to be done on goose fat.
Honey glazed carrots can be maple glazed instead.
Red cabbage is easily done with vegan wine.

Many supermarket mince pies and Christmas puddings are vegan.