To tell newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on Christmas Day?

[GunpowderGelatine]

I'm hosting Christmas day at my house this year, not something I've done in ages. There's ten of us, including the kids, which is a great number - my plan, like every year I cook, is to order M&S food and pick it up on Christmas Eve then just bung it all in the oven and make some homemade gravy. I usually get a pork joint as I'm not a turkey fan, but will also be getting a turkey joint for my guests. I'm not usually the type to stress about Christmas dinner (it's only a roast after all!) but I also want it to be as simple as possible. One of my guests has declared they are now vegan. Which is a bit of a PITA for dinner if I'm honest as I'll have to sort a vegan main, gravy, dessert etc. I also have a nut allergy sufferer in the group which excludes quite a lot of vegan options as mains.

WIBU to ask the newly vegan guest to bring their own dish on the day or is that really rude? I've kind of planned the food around the size of my oven/hob and could do without the added stuff having to go in it (don't mind warming something up though)?

If you're happy to warm something through then why not make something in advance and freeze it?

I also have autoimmune issues - by controlling what I eat (and avoiding a huge number of foods) I can keep my immune antibodies low and stop them from attacking my thyroid.

My friends are happy to accommodate my dietary requirements - and I'm the same when they come to dinner at my house.

My cousin brings his own food to everything and everyone else eats it. It's delicious.
Perhaps say that you're not sure you can do anything decent and ask if s/he would perhaps bring something that everyone can have a taste of? That way it's slightly more flattering.

what a fuss! If you're hosting you're responsible for making sure everyone is fed, whether that means you cook for everyone or ask all your guests to bring a plate/contribution in which case your vegan can bring their choice.

I'm not vegan so have no axe to grind, but can knock out a brilliant vegan curry without any problem. Buy a sachet of curry paste, and day before you want to eat, add chopped onion, potatoes, carrots, cauliflower, etc, and a tin of tomatoes or a tin of coconut milk (depending on the curry paste you use), cook till the veges are nearly done. Next day warm it up till the veges are cooked and add a cup of peas. Buy sachets of pilau rice and daal to warm in the microwave for 2 mins. Make a big pot for everyone who wants and next day add left over meat for an easy meal (assuming the vegan has gone home by then).

I don't expect to win any prizes for authentic indian cooking but you can get excellent indian pastes, daals, boxes of poppadoms etc from most supermarkets.

If you're hosting you should cater for everyone. I'm vegetarian, some guests are others aren't, but I wouldn't expect them to bring their own unless they preferred to. Just get something easy like these Vegan turkey & cranberry plaits www.sainsburys.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/gb/groceries/lmc-cranberry-turkey-plait-340g?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI-oKPkv725QIVCbLtCh0SOAqaEAQYASABEgIIv_D_BwE&storeId=10151&langId=44&krypto=8nh1Ahiyh%2B9wztrCEEg2WY7jc5WKVOZjms%2FMWktKUEKQWvSB8bk0dGPpl7M5fh6t0l48kJMq6I7GLm3%2F%2B8wilPt1Q%2FI53stPrkmQkzvrTy8esdWa0Zh3S2iByuF9vsGxno2zaGNa3mKU%2BKq8oN%2Bn%2FY0C8XoRs9hPidgafgZuw3ZrR5mNgOSGPKkIZ68npcONnzaNRsVHbBjb%2FMobaFpzJD3bNVxHvLgVan2fiBdzDJE%2FhQjk8UIy4BQq61Gu3mzgLNni85TmwiGIy%2FX%2FU7y8HOoQAw0V9lQCcolY%2FZ79Bc1OsQNZTMcyoLBclaTGTMdBYtG4FuW4Zsf9ifdLkRSl8osMJxD0aL4t35BM%2BmPv73s%3D&ddkey=https%3Agb%2Fgroceries%2Flmc-cranberry-turkey-plait-340g

What an absolutely ridiculous and condescending comment!

Over 24 hours ago the OP said I asked what they'd like and the problem is now solved and Plant Kitchen sausages are on my list

🙄

Yanbu. This is not a health situation, so they should actually offer to bring their own food, and say "don't make any special preparations for me"
Simple manners.

We are vegetarian and are fine if people ask us to bring a veggie main. And Sometimes for a local dinner party I'd much rather do that as its easier for both parties.
On Christmas day it is a bit of a pain however, because we've been told its got to be fancied up to be "special" enough for the Christmas table. Certain relatives (who watch too many cookery programmes) insist on sampling as gourmet food critics before saying they prefer turkey and are so glad they never have to eat this non meat rubbish etc..
This annual performance drives me mad, quite apart from having to have the dish cooked at 8.00am and driving with it hot to the lunch so its easier to heat up etc and worrying about transporting it without it breaking up (as it did once thanks to some sharp turns) . its just a total fuss fuss fuss that I'd rather do without and yes, it does make me wish we ate meat. I literally hate people constantly asking why we gave up as if it is some form of abberant behaviour. I don't care if they eat meat or not, I'm not out to convert them - just want to get on with dinner without discussing this boring topic.
The best kind of host just quietly points out the dishes without meat and doesn't make a big song and dance about what a huge effort its been to prepare a few vegetables and a ready made quiche
However if you are ordering in ready made food, then I think its not that much of a stretch to quietly accomodate your vegan guest, its only one main course and maybe one desert?

Of course veganism is self-improvement. It's healthier, more mindful, better for animals, better for the environment. I cannot think of anything I have done in my life that has improved my wellbeing more than becoming vegan. Sorry, if you don't like that. It's not a criticism of your lifestyle choices, don't take it personally.

I’m going to go through this one by one.

Healthier: not necessarily. Yes, if you eat no processed foods, in a balanced way, in enough quantities, to ensure you consume adequate calories and nutrients, it can be healthier. But it’s much more time consuming and expensive to achieve this as a vegan than as a vegetarian or an omnivore.

Mindful: what do you mean? That you think about what you eat more than a vegetarian/ pescatarian/ omnivore? If so, do you hear how arrogant you sound? Not all non-vegans mindlessly put terrible food into their bodies all the time. Arguably, it’s much more mindful to ensure you’re a responsible and healthy omnivore than a vegan. Vegans can mindlessly reach for anything that says “vegan” on the box. Pescatarians may well be researching seasonality, sustainability, origin etc.

Better for animals: I agree with this more than I disagree, so yes.

Better for the environment: are you sure? Do you think it’s best for the environment for all 7bn humans on earth to receive their calories and nutrients from plants? Think about that seriously, in terms of water usage, seasonality, transportation, urbanization, gloabalism. You’ll see the answer is most certainly not. So only some people can sustainably be vegan, for “the environment”. Are you claiming that saintly title for yourself, or do you think other people (say, in developing countries) claiming their fair share of resources from elsewhere is what allows you to be an “improved” human as a Western vegan?

Your well-being: wonderful. Very happy for you to have this private joy. Doesn’t allow you to claim the title of “self-improved” as a consequence.

Criticism of my lifestyle choices: the thought hadn’t occurred to me. A vegan’s choice to be vegan has no bearing on my choices. Just like you choosing to wear brown shoes today has no bearing on my choice to wear black boots. You’re not an improved human being as a consequence of that choice, and neither am I a lesser/unimproved human, that’s all.

@Genevieva so you're actually saying I should set aside my personal moral objection to eating animal products if I go to a non-vegan's house to eat? I should just eat meat or whatever so as not to put the host to any trouble? Righto

FWIW I don't give a shit what anyone else eats but I've made a choice that I don't want to partake of meat, dairy etc.

And yes I changed overnight. Went from full omnivore to vegan for veganuary and haven't looked back.

I'm a vegan preparing Xmas Dinner for 7 meat eaters, 1 gluten free, 4 pescatarian and 3 vegans. I've got a single oven and a four ring stove. I'll be catering for everyone because they are my guests even though thence damned me to hell with what I've got to do on Xmas day. I do ask people to bring something and it's discussed in advance so guests will usually turn up with wine and pudding but as for the main? That's my job, although I don't like it. I think you're being churlish. Make a bit of effort for your guest. You could buy ready made vegan gravy and serve some Linda McCartney vegan sausages. OK, they're not Christmassy but with the trimmings it could work out lovely. Stick some sorbet in the freezer too for pudding.

Pick up a vegan sausage roll from Gregg's, warm it in the microwave with a splash of tinned tomato and a basil leaf on top. It'll look like you've made an effort and the vegan will be the last person to make a fuss about it. Vegetarian is one thing but vegans are just a PITA.

Sounds like you've found a perfect solution.

I'm a recent vegan. My cat died and the suffering it went through in the last year of life made me more aware that animals have feelings of pain and fear. It broke my heart and its left me unable to continue making a distinction between "meat" and animals.

When I even scratched the surface of animal cruelty I realised I had to do it for my own conscience. It's a personal decision based on values and morality - more similar to a religious conversion than a "lifestyle choice".

I was quite sad to see all the negativity here. As a mum of one fussy eater and one vegan daughter, I get that it's a pain. I understand that catering for different food groups is hard. But vegans are generally very unfussy and accommodating. Most of a roast dinner is just fine - all the veg.

For anyone who is interested, I asked a vegan friend what they do at Christmas and they recommended a tofurkey roast - it's basically fake turkey. I might substitute it and see if dh or dd (fussy) notice. 😁

I would feel like it but I would probably just buy him/her a nut roast (you can get a vegan one at my local farm shop for £2.99). They can then just add some of the trimmings.

Glad that's all sorted and not too much of a PITA.

I'm vegetarian , always offer to bring my own food and always let it be known I'm happy to have just have the same as what everyone else is having without the meat to save hassle. Usually end up with potatoes and veg , happy with that.

So personally , for future reference , I wouldn't think it was rude.

they recommended a tofurkey roast - it's basically fake turkey. I might substitute it and see if dh or dd (fussy) notice. 😁

That's what we had last year and it was really nice!

I think you are being unreasonable. There are tonnes and tonnes of vegan readymeals available or buy a pack of large flat mushrooms for about £1.

The Linda McCartney frozen vegetarian roast dinner turned out to be fully vegan when I was tasked with the mission of finding Christmas Dinner for the vegan and the vegetarian last year. I filched a bit actually - it was yummy... Waitrose is probably your best friend.

Linda McCartney sausages and burgers are btw now by choice in the menu for three different mostly meat eaters in our extended family. They still both definitely need a brush of oil over the top though.

@MyGhastIsFlabbered I am happy to cater for longstanding and committed vegetarians. One of my oldest friends has not eaten a scrap of meat since the age of 14. I have also accommodated religious dietary requirements. What I have no time for are fad dieters who are vegetarian or lactose or gluten intolerant, except when no one is looking when they eat a quiche Lorraine. I know a remarkably large number of these people and they get my goat. I spent a week catering for one, only to watch her happy tuck into something that broke all her rules when she wanted the most expensive thing on the menu during a restaurant meal she wasn't paying for. She is part of my husband's family though and she has some redeeming features.

YABU M&S have 2 vegan nut free mains.

As a vegan I am confused by all the fuss. I will happily just eat the veg and stuffing, people just cook me a few Roast pots in oil if they are using goose fat. I sometimes bring my own gravy granules but I don't mind eating a roast without. Such a massive fuss about nothing.

This company make delicious vegan and gluten free Christmas Pudding - I have bought them for the last three years

www.lillypuds.co.uk/product/premium-vegan-and-gluten-free-christmas-pudding-454g/

I am happy to cater for longstanding and committed vegetarians

At what point does someone become a longstanding and committed vegetarian? All vegetarians/vegans started off as new vegetarians/vegans once.

That isn't what you said though. You said "But I will add that I have little sympathy for people who dramatically change their eating habits overnight for non-medical reasons. As far as I am concerned, they can eat what they want at home, but when they are eating out they should not impose their preferences on the person doing the catering."

Nothing about being happy to cater for committed vegetarians/vegans. And like a PP said, everybody started out as a newcomer to whatever diet they're following. At what point do you decide they're committed enough for you to deign to cater for them?

7salmons - I would be very interested to know what you think can be classed as self-improvement?

We all view things differently.

I think being healthier, improving my wellbeing, helping the environment, being kind to other species of animals, being mindful of what I consume as a result of being vegan are all very positive things that have improved my life.