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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike man because my dog does?

106 replies

BJsHair · 17/11/2019 18:57

Went to friends house with dog today (doggy play date). My dog showed instant dislike to my friends husband, barking and growling at him. I put it down to her being a bit funny with men but then another bloke came in and she ran over, smothered him in kisses, tail wagging etc ... yet when friends husband tried to get her attention she went back to growling and barking. In the end I sat on the floor with her to reassure her that it was ok and the husband stroked her head. She tolerated it but growled throughout.

No obvious reason.

AIBU to keep a distance from this bloke now, and trust my dogs instincts? Friend has invited me around tomorrow for dog play date but she won’t be home, just her hubby. I’m inclined to trust my dog that he’s a wrong un. Hubby thinks I’m being ridiculous.

OP posts:
Flouncysinatra · 17/11/2019 19:05

I’m sort of torn here. On one hand YABU - it may be that he has a beard, was wearing the wrong colour etc. On the other - my dog has only ever taken a disliking to two people and they were not nice.

On a separate note - why would you be going on a doggy play date just with the husband who you don’t know?

Ummmmcake · 17/11/2019 19:06

No, why would you go visit your friend's husband when she isn't there? That's just awkward

Original poster
BJsHair · 17/11/2019 19:07

Because the point of the play date is to get the dogs together ... I suppose friend just assumed that her hubby being home would do for this purpose?

OP posts:
fairynick · 17/11/2019 19:08

Me and my family are all white. Most of my friends are white and I live in an area inhabited by predominantly white people. I invited a friend over who is black and my lovely docile friendly dog wanted to rip his head off. Thougut it was strange but just thought she was having a bad day. Six months later walking my dog came across another dog owner who was black and their dog. Again my dog began growling, almost looked distressed etc. It was then that I realised I had raised a racist dog. Are you sure this person didn’t have any particular smells, was really tall? Anything?

SimonJT · 17/11/2019 19:08

My friends dog hates me, I’m perfectly nice!!

RadicalFern · 17/11/2019 19:10

I pay a lot of attention to my dog in these sorts of matters, especially as he is usually a friendly and cheerful hound. If he actively doesn’t want to be near someone (rather than just not being interested in them), I would assume that there was something negative that he was picking up from them.

Original poster
BJsHair · 17/11/2019 19:13

Bloke was white (as am I), bit odd looking but nothing really out of the ordinary. My dog is highly protective of me so it’s not totally unusual for her but she was fine with the other bloke ... why single one man out?

OP posts:
GeePipe · 17/11/2019 19:16

I used to think like you op. I thought if a dog didnt like someone trust it that the person is bad. All dogs ive ever met have loved me instantly sitting on my lap smothering me in licks and bellyrubs. Until one day i was babysitting when i was 17 and their husky used to try attack my face. Nipped my ear twice and every time i babysat it would growl at me all night i had to lock it in the garden every time. Yet twice i brought my friends around and it was fine with them. I can assure you i am a nornal none evil woman. That was just a random dog who hated me for some odd reason.

PhannyPharts · 17/11/2019 19:16

I think you might be a bit unreasonable disliking someone because your dog doesn't like them. But highly unreasonable risking that man getting bitten because you're forcing your dog to be around someone it doesn't like. He's already growling to tell him he wants him to back off. You're not giving him anywhere else to go other than teeth first if you force it some more without some decent training or behavioural advice.

Dinosauraddict · 17/11/2019 19:17

Dogs are a brilliant judge of character. We often have multiple tradespeople round to give quotes etc, we will often go with the one who the dogs like. If our dogs all have an active dislike against someone then I 100% trust them... they are normally proven correct eventually!

PhannyPharts · 17/11/2019 19:17

Sorry. Based on your OP you're asking r avoid him. So. Do what you suggested (sorry. I should have read that more thoroughly)

GothMummy · 17/11/2019 19:20

I trust my dof's judgement more than my own!

GothMummy · 17/11/2019 19:21

Dogs.

Greatorb · 17/11/2019 19:24

Dogs are a brilliant judge of character. We often have multiple tradespeople round to give quotes etc, we will often go with the one who the dogs like. If our dogs all have an active dislike against someone then I 100% trust them... they are normally proven correct eventually!

Hmm
Hisdoeherbuck · 17/11/2019 19:24

I always trust my dogs intuition, if they don’t like someone, I tend to avoid them.

KittyDee · 17/11/2019 19:25

You say that’s that she’s a bit funny with men anyway. Is she a rescue?Perhaps the husband looks/ smells/ sounds like someone who has mistreated her?

One of my rescue cats tolerated some men, but had a real dislike of loud and imposing men and I think he had been previously abused by someone like that.

goodwinter · 17/11/2019 19:27

Don't take your dog round to spend time with someone she doesn't like.

Has she taken a dislike to anyone before, and if so, do they share any characteristics with your friends husband? Is your dog a rescue and therefore could have a traumatic memory that this person inadvertantly triggered?

Dahlietta · 17/11/2019 19:27

It works in the Famous Five. Timmy the dog is always right about everyone.

Original poster
BJsHair · 17/11/2019 19:29

No it’s odd because I’ve had her from being 8 weeks old. She was fine for months but then all of a sudden took a dislike to most strangers, especially men. I know it’s in the breed to get distrustful but why just certain people? I find it fascinating.

OP posts:
JE17 · 17/11/2019 19:37

My dog is gentle, friendly and very rarely barks. I often walk her alone in the woods at lunchtime. Last year a man cycled past us but then got off his bike and loitered ahead of us. As we approached she started barking at him. As I walked past him he grabbed hold of me and started stroking my arm and leg, saying "show the doggy I'm a nice man". I was terrified, He very clearly wasn't a nice man! I somehow managed to pull myself away from him and went home at a good pace, glancing behind me all the way. We usually meet other people in the woods and she's never had a reaction like that. So in my case, I'll certainly be "listening" to my dog in future

Original poster
BJsHair · 17/11/2019 19:40

@JE17

Christ my dog would have ripped his arm off!

OP posts:
Wizzbangpop · 17/11/2019 19:43

Yanbu

I have taken my ddog on second dates before Romantic walk in park + walks the dog (2 birds one stone) and the reason given for this exact reason

FineWordsForAPorcupine · 17/11/2019 19:45

Dogs aren't psychic. They are just a) less concerned with being "polite" and b) extremely attuned to their owners. It's more likely that you get a subconscious "bad feeling" about this guy, and your dog is picking up on that.

Monkeynuts18 · 17/11/2019 19:48

No. My dog takes dislikes to men with beards and people wearing hats. He isn’t a brilliant judge of character.

steff13 · 17/11/2019 19:49

I think dogs can have a sense of people. But also sometimes they're just weird. When someone came into our home in work boots, our dog would follow them around and bark and growl and even bite the backs of their ankles. But if the same person went outside, took the boots off, and came in in just socks, he will be perfectly friendly. There could be any number of completely innocuous reasons why your dog didn't take to him.