To dislike man because my dog does?

[BJsHair]

Went to friends house with dog today (doggy play date). My dog showed instant dislike to my friends husband, barking and growling at him. I put it down to her being a bit funny with men but then another bloke came in and she ran over, smothered him in kisses, tail wagging etc ... yet when friends husband tried to get her attention she went back to growling and barking. In the end I sat on the floor with her to reassure her that it was ok and the husband stroked her head. She tolerated it but growled throughout.

No obvious reason.

AIBU to keep a distance from this bloke now, and trust my dogs instincts? Friend has invited me around tomorrow for dog play date but she won’t be home, just her hubby. I’m inclined to trust my dog that he’s a wrong un. Hubby thinks I’m being ridiculous.

I think people want to believe their dogs are brilliant judges of character and are selectively remembering those incidents that back this up.

My house rabbit was all over a particular tradesman when he normally ignored most people. I chose that tradesman because of that. He did a rubbish job...

We have the most placid American bulldog. Like giant teddy bear
He has only ever growled at 2 people.
Dp brother, we rarely speak, don't trust him, he dodgy, we even do a separate Christmas with the in laws to avoid him
And a old mate of dp, he was fine when dp was home but the day dp wasn't home and he came round to drop of some fish, our dog went to rip his arm off, even with me trying to calm him which normally only took and down or stop with any knock at door or person at the gate. The guy also turned out to be dodgy, untrustworthy and we don't speak at all now
The 2 people look entirely different, no beard and dp old mate had worn the same clothes around before
While there is no solid science, I trust our dogs instinct

The idea that a dog is a better judge of human character than another human is ridiculous.

Why do dogs not need play dates? Has nobody heard of canine socialisation? It’s pretty important ...

Id trust the dog but to avoid embarrassment I’d be telling the woman that you’ll only go when she’s there as the dog seems to dislike her husband. Do not make any effort to make the dog befriend the man. I dont know him and neither do you. It’s better if they remain not friends and he keeps away as you don’t know what he’s capable of. He could be a released murderer who did 20years in jail for all you know! She may not even know about it. Or perhaps I watch too much TV! Just respect the dog. It’s about the dogs day and the dog doesn’t like him. You wouldn’t make a child hang out with a man he didn’t like or force the child to be cuddled by the man would you. That’s abuse. Treat your fur baby the same. Don’t force a friendship.

And yes - dogs do not need “play dates” weird

Exactly, what does the dog do? Pop downstairs and say to you, I've just had a chat with Fido on WhatsApp and he would like me to come around and play.

It's batshit crazy! It's like treating an animal as if it's human.

Christ on a cracker. Firstly dogs, as evidenced by them barking at hats, can just be daft. They aren't Mystic Meg. Secondly, they pick up on your feelings and thats what they respond to.
If your dog is super protective she is all the more likely to respond to your discomfort.
She's not a rescue and she is nervous around men? No! She's picking up on the fact that you are less comfortable with men than with women. It's you that doesn't like the husband, not your dog!
Oh, and the one with a non rescue dog who is nervous of black people? Um..hate to say it but that's your feeling not your dog's!
Our dog used to try and attack pit bulls and the like because I am very nervous of those kind of dogs. That's all it is.

I have to arrange 'play dates' for my dog - she doesn't socialise because she hates most other dogs (you only find out when it's too late...). So when I meet dogs she does like, then we pre-arrange a walk so they can go out together and chase about.

Arranging to walk dogs together is fine and something I do. But this sounds more like the OP is taking her dog round to another dog's house. Which for a lot of dogs would feel awkward for both parties. Potential for one to feel territorial and the other to feel on the back foot by being in another dog's house.

I was always told to use neutral ground for dog meet ups, certainly until they got to know each other.

They do know each other! Plus mine is only very young

BJsHair er.. that’s what dog walks are for or training classes

Er ... she does both of those things too

So why doggy “play dates” ?
So odd, they’re not children

Because that’s what I choose to call them. It’s easier than saying “meet up with the owner of the dog in which my dog enjoys playing with”.

Why does it offend you so much? 😂

Dogs are a brilliant judge of character. We often have multiple tradespeople round to give quotes etc, we will often go with the one who the dogs like. If our dogs all have an active dislike against someone then I 100% trust them... they are normally proven correct eventually!

Hitler had dogs, and they all loved him. All the drug dealers on our local estate have got dogs, and those dogs love them, and they love all the other drug dealers. There must be thousands of paedos / rapists/ muggers/scumbags who are loved by dogs.

Personally, I think any one who trusts a dog to be a good judge of character is a wrong 'un.

Doesn’t offend me I just think it’s cringe inducing but you do you ..

If someone is a dog hater, then I am a little suspicious of them. I know I am completely unreasonable, its just I really like dogs (not vicious ones of course) and it generally means it would be someone I would probably not get along with.

Your dog is correct. She doesnt care about being polite but can be in tune with your feelings. I bet you don't like him.

If someone is a dog hater, then I am a little suspicious of them.

If someone lacks empathy, and judges someone for hating dogs, not knowing their backstory and not realising they might have a really good reason for hating dogs, then I am more than a little suspicious of them. I think they're twats.

Is your dog a rescue? If so it could be that he looks like someone from your dogs past who wasn't very kind to him. If not then 100% trust your dogs behaviour

If someone is a dog hater, then I am a little suspicious of them.

Just like I am suspicious of all dogs and refuse to be around them. My reason? When I was 2 years old I was bitten on the face by a dog, so I feel more than justified not wanting to be around them or even in the same room as one.

Absolutely nothing about me to be suspicious about.

I wouldn’t take your dog too seriously. My dog (RIP) really liked my ex, and he turned out to be an actual psychopath who destroyed my life.

I like dogs, but reading this thread has made me more wary of dog owners. What a bunch of loons.

Trust your dog.... dogs are psychic

what a load of old cobblers.

Dogs don't have extra special powers OP. If a dog has taken a dislike to someone it's because they remind them of someone

My dog doesn't even have normal powers. She tends to hate everyone, equally when she first meets them.

She's fine after a few minutes, but on first acquaintance, if i took her word for it, I'd assume that the whole of the world was evil and out to get me.