Stepchildren and language

[PG2018]

I have to dsc 4 and 6, twice this weekend they used the word fart. The first time I was looking after them on my own so told them it wasn't a word we use. Today they used the word again, DP didn't seem to bat an eye lid (although did later agree with me). I think if they were older I wouldn't like it but would accept it more. Is this inappropriate or am I being a prude?

Fart is so much better than all those twee euphemisms "windy pops" ffs?!

What do you think they should use? Fart is perfectly acceptable. I’d imagine they’d be teased if they use twee euphemism such as windy pops, fluff or pump.

Ime people who don’t allow fart do allow far worse such as pardon, toilet or settee

And as for Yet again MN making out step parents out to always be in the wrong! don't be ridiculous.

You didn't ask a neutral question about how people regard the word fart. You chose to make it a criticism of your dsc and their parents

I agree with you OP.
It is crude. Yes, there are worse things they could be saying, but since when did parenting become a race to the bottom ? [

You - as the adult in charge at the time, are perfectly right to be parenting as you would your own. At 4 and 6 the are old enough to understand the concept that 'that is a word we don't use in this house', and to begin to learn the concept of tailoring your language to suit your audience.

MNers overwhelmingly like / approve of / encourage swearing. I respect their right to swear but I like to hope that they have learned that it might not be appropriate in some circumstances - from a funeral to an interview.
We all have a different place we draw that line - which words are / aren't acceptable, but you, as the adult in that situation are the one that gets to decide where that line is drawn, even if 75% of Ners would draw it somewhere else.

What word should they use? You could ask them to say flatulence instead (and refer to poo as faecal matter).

Fart iant even a bad word. - well no words are ‘bad’ words are they? They’re just sounds that come out of our mouths, the acceptability of them is socially defined. That being the case it’s surely not a huge stretch to understand that what might be considered acceptable to one person might not be to the next person - it’s not a bad word to you but you’re not everyone! I know people who pepper their language with the word ‘cunt’ - they would say it’s no worse than crap - I don’t mind it but I don’t want to hear a child using it.

Dear god this is a good example if new mumsnetters want to know what a pearl clutched is. Believe me I've heard worse from children that have been unfortunately to learn it.

In our house they're toots

Not because there's anything wrong with the word fart, but a toot is just so much friendlier

DP! Did you just TOOT?!

Yet again MN making out step parents out to always be in the wrong!

Well to be fair when you read your post being prissy about the word fart you're not doing step parents any favours really.

Ah when my ds calls me mummy poopoo I say it’s not kind and say ‘I’m mummy’.
When he says ‘I’m about to do a massive fart’ (which he does, regularly) I’m afraid a small part of me internally feels like a small child and sniggers at it 🤷🏻‍♀️😂
I think the difference is calling someone something just isn’t kind and I want to teach him that we dont call people names. Whereas farting... it is what it is, if the kid needs to fart, let it out mate or you’ll get a tummy ache 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Although my ds has an amazing stepmum who I think a lot of, and if she felt like it was something she didn’t want to hear from him then I’m sure I’d be asking him not to say it around her/baby- he’d get used to not using that word there just like he has different bedtimes in each house!

I prefer my kids to use the term anal whisper. Much more polite!

Get a grip

Fart!? Is this a joke? I have never considered this bad language before!? What is the actual term for it then of it isn't a fart!? 😂 It makes no sense to be offended by this word. It is what it is. No polite way of doing it, or saying it. It would be similar to them saying "poo" or "wee" surely. Jesus Christ. If they were calling someone a "fart head" or similar, I'd tell them that wasn't a nice thing to say, but if they're just saying "fart" who are they actually offending. OP you sound like an old fart tbh 😂

Back for good - but their dad is happy enough with them using it. So op surely can’t tell the children it’s a word that can’t be used in the house, when the other adult in the house (who is their parent) doesn’t object.

If she really wants to make an issue of this then she can ask the children Not to use the word in front of her or the baby.

The kids are tiny, their parents must have split when they were very young, they are adjusting to a new step mum and an new half brother at only 4 and 6. I don’t think the word fart should be causing a big issue.

I don’t fart though, I giggle with my bum 😂😂

There is a class/region thing about the word fart. In our house it is no more offensive than the word leg. It’s just a name for a thing. I know others hate it. OP should take this into account.

What would you like them to say! Get over yourself

Fart? You wouldn’t survive in my house is a young child saying fart is a problem.

My son recently announced to his entire reception class that pigeons are actually called fucking pigeons, as thats what I regularly say when trying to get the bastard things out of the flat!

You are not their parent so you don’t get to decide what they are and aren’t allowed to say. There is also the fact that if you make a fuss about a word they may be more likely to say it as it becomes exciting.

My son sometimes swears, as highlighted above, I virtually always ignore it, as a result a swear word isn’t typically repeated more than a handful of times.

Oh FFS. Fart isn't even a swear word unless you are perhaps from the 1950s.

You wouldn't survive in this house. We have always called a fart a fart, with none of these ridiculous euphemisms for it like guff, trump, botty burp or fairy puff. DH and I often call each other "old fart" or "farty bum/arse". Arty Farty too, for good measure.

When I was growing up I had friends at primary school who called them trumps. I now always think of Donald Trump as President Fart. Which he is, and it is really rather appropriate.

And unclench FFS god help you if that offends cis "potty" humour is definitely a stage. Then there's the teenage years

OP you have yet to suggest another alternative for it... or shall we just pretend that that particular bodily function doesn’t exist?

I hate that word and it makes me cringe but those kids are little! Of course they’re going to use words like that! I know I did when I was little but like anything, they’ll learn context and appropriateness in different situations

Our 3 year old ds said bitches the other day. But that was only after I had said he was being a whingy breeches and he mis pronounced it. Couldn't help but chuckle.

ilyjccs
What do you say instead of fart? What word do you think is a polite word if you dont like fart?

I never let them use it, ever, in front of me. In fact I never let them swear at all

But "fart" isn't a swear word... at all.

Windy pops? Ridiculous!
Anal whisper? What if its not a "whisper"?

Are the kids allowed fart, OP?
Have you ever farted?

What word would you prefer the kids to use?