I can't stand my cousins wife...

[Lizbiz89]

To cut a long story short 3 years ago I lost my first baby at 6 months pregnant. She would have been my grandmas first born great grandchild. A month after we lost her my extended family got together for a birthday. We weren't there as we'd gone travelling to heal a bit.

Anyway my mum came back and told me that my cousins wife had gotten onto the subject of babies and turned around to grandma and said "hopefully we'll be the first to give you a great grandchild". This is obviously after the whole family knew what had happened to us.

I have since never gotten over what she said and because of this I grit my teeth at every event we go to just to get through it and leave. She also just seems to be a very disingenuous person anyway in the things she says and how she behaves.

So I've now come to the decision that I just don't want to be around her and have decided we will not attend any event with her there. Boxing Day is coming up and we usually go to an event with her there but I've decided I don't want to go although my mum is trying to force me.

Do you think this is a valid reason not to see a person again? Just want to know what others would think if someone had made that comment about such a loss.

I'm usually a person who just lets bygones be bygones but this I just can't get over.

No @Countryescape, op lost the baby at 24 weeks.

So sorry Lizbiz89

I’d be questioning why your mum would tell you something that she knew would be hurtful to you, and make your dislike your cousin in law. Does she have form for being bitchy?

Also how do you know that IS what your cousins wife said, when your mum has shown by repeating it that she’s happy to create trouble.

Even assuming the comment was made exactly how your mother said, then while I totally understand it’s a terrible, tragic loss, why are you holding such a long, sustained grudge against your cousins wife for what might have just been an off the cuff comment or a moment of thoughtless on her part? Is it easier to blame her than your mum being nasty?

Also your cousins wife is not the reason you lost your baby and being resentful and angry with her is wrong. You also don’t know what has gone on in her life, maybe she’s lost a pregnancy, or had a traumatic assault, perhaps she’s “disingenuous “ for a whole number of reasons you know nothing about. But she’s not someone you should be focusing your sense of loss and devastation for losing your baby as it wasn’t her fault.